Glesbo: Office Romance

Friday, November 17, 2006

Office Romance

Dear NBC,

Hey! It's Glennis. How are you? I just wanted to stop by and say um, listen... can you please make it so Pam and Jim are a couple? Please?! I swear I will keep watching. No really, that's not the only thing that keeps me watching! I love the show. I really do! I mean Stan alone... he's just retardedly funny, that guy. And I love the merging of the offices! Know what I hate? That Pam and Jim aren't together. Please? Pretty please?

Thanks.

I love you guys. Keep on... keepin on?

Love,

Glennis

Is this creepy? This is creepy, right? Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know how not to make this creepy. I look at these pictures a lot. I imagine myself as Pam. I know I KNOW she's not a real person! I know that! But she's kind of like me. Unassumingly attractive. Right? I mean if you really fix me... I mean her... up we'd be pretty ok looking right?? It's not so crazy to think that someone like Jim would be in love with us?? IS IT!?! IS IT, NBC?!?! WELL FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID FACES!!! FUCK YOU IN YOUR STUPID FACES! I COULD TOO GET JIM! YOU... YOU... YOU ALL HAVE SMALL PENISES!!! GOD DAMN IT ALL!!!

Um. Thanks.

Watch this video and maybe consider casting me... in something.

It doesn't have to be The Office.

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I'm gonna go now.

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I'm taking my pictures with me.

6 comments:

mostly erik tanouye said...: But I like Karen!; 4:57 PM
Glennis McMurray said...: OMG Tanouye, I don't think we can be BFFs anymore.

PAM FOREVER!!!; 7:54 PM
Lynn said...: Karen should be likeable, enough to cause us worry for the future of Jam.
But ultimately, she's disposable.
Karim just doesn't sound as good as Jam.

And that's not subtly racist.; 8:25 PM
Glennis McMurray said...: I love Jam so much. That is the best celebrity squashed up name ever, Lynn.

What about Jaren though? That's kind of catchy too. What if the people like JAREN!!?; 10:33 AM
Anonymous said...: team karen 4 life, suckah; 10:45 AM
Glennis McMurray said...: After having had a long discussion with Stan about this and about the douchiness of Pam for not being with Jim even though she's CLEARLY in love with him (what's that all about??) I think I'm off both teams. It feels wrong to like Karen now! Yes, I want Jim to be happy. Of course I do. But liking Karen is like having drinks with your friend's ex's new woman. And THAT my friends is something I'd never do.

Longest comment ever. On my own blog.

Gross.; 5:41 PM

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."