Friday, September 25, 2009

Wedding Weekend Recap - Part 2 (of 1,000 Weddings)

Last week my lovah and I went to Portland, OR for one of his best bud's wedding. This is seriously like wedding 80 of 1,000 - I just haven't written about the others. (They will be written about but right now all I have the strength for is the most recent.)

Portland wedding was amazing. The scenery - breathtaking. The guests - little packages of awesome. The partying - terrifs. One aspect of the partying was especially terrif. It involved only myself, Matt and our awesome friend Pete. One starry night we sat outside Pete's room on his patio looking for UFOs and drinking ourselves silly. Eventually, as it tends to do exactly every 13.2 minutes (like clockwork), nature called. I, being the classy lady that I am, got up to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. The two gentleman stood up, because they've got class as well, to excuse me and I gracefully sauntered in to the room to powder my lady parts.

Or that's what I had hoped would happen.

Instead, I stood up and walked right into the glass door. It's just my way, y'allz.

I sank to my knees (to keep the pee in) and started laughing so hard I don't actually believe I took a breath for 60-90 seconds. Matt fell off his seat, laughing, crying, holding his sides. We couldn't breath, we couldn't speak, all we could do was laugh. I don't even think anyone could ask if I was OK, but clearly I was as I was laughing hysterically. Next thing I know I hear a stream of what sounds like urine and I turn to see Matt 10 feet away peeing in the bushes. He could no longer hold it and was not about to pee his pants. I turn to where Pete is standing and he's just stone-faced and says, "I need to collect my thoughts" and walks inside. Well, first he opened the sliding glass door and THEN he walked inside.


It was classic Glennis, really.

And that's what I took away from Portland wedding. (Among many many other amazing things which I am not sure I can go into right now. Seriously - SO TIRED.)

Another wedding this Sunday! Let's hope I can keep my everlovingcrap together.

I love you all more than you'll ever know.



Thursday, September 24, 2009


I used to have insanely vivid dreams that I felt like I'd lived and still to this day I'm not quite sure I haven't. I remember every single detail. What I was wearing, who I was with, what the walls looked like - Everything. Last night I had another of those dreams.


There were some traveling aspects in last night's - I was in a cab going to a location that the cab driver couldn't find, etc - but most of the dream took place in a party. The high point was when a friend of mine, John, fell down some stairs and was SLICED IN HALF. He was at the bottom of the stairs one minute and then next standing next to me with a visible gap between his top and bottom halves saying, "it looks a lot worse than it probably is." We were all concerned but also thought that it would probably be OK. The party continues and I'm hanging out with a female friend of mine and, as we're standing near the warming trays (for the food that will be served in this large and dank mansion party) she admits that she pushed him down the stairs. And that our friend who broke her arm at the last party was pushed by her as well. The rest of the dream was trying to get back to my boyfriend to tell him about his friend who'd been sliced in half (our cell phones weren't working).

I hopped on the subway and I wasn't wearing shoes. I got off at 34th street and it was in ruins. It looked more like a dump site than a subway station and it was partially outdoors. I walked over piles of trash toward the exit and when I got there I was standing at the ocean. Cars were driving from the street into the water and disappearing. The tide was rising and I knew I had to get out of there but I couldn't get back up to the subway platform.

And then I woke up.

I have a feeling some of the craziness in the dream is due to the fact that I have just the tiniest bit of anxiety about my show tonight. I'm not stressed in any sense other than I'm a perfectionist and I want it to be, you guessed it, perfect. Only by my standards of course - but I have very high standards.

I should also note that this is the 2nd dream I've had in my lifetime where someone was cut in half and was breathing and talking like nothing had happened.

And on that note - why not come see my solo show tonight!

Paralyzed by Glennis
5 characters whose lives have been effected by living in fear.
Thursday, September 24th @ 7pm
The UCB Theatre
307 W 26th St @ 8th Ave



Thursday, September 10, 2009

Front Page Fun

Check out the video my darling and his cohorts made for the Crunch fitness contest. Who's that adorable girl talking about MP3 players?? Why - that's me!

Happy Fall!