Thursday, May 15, 2008

Long time...No Me

What I've Been Up To

Hi guys! How's life?

As you can see I've been busy! But I missed you. Don't get it twisted! I certainly did! And I missed blogging - swear! And for a moment I considered changing blogs and killing this one (sorry hunny) because it reminds me of my old job (the same thing that keeps me from eating at those weird salad bar deli things we have in NY - the smell reminds me of "the job") but then I thought NAH. I'm too lazy!

So I'm back! A whole new chapter has opened up and you're on page ONE MOTHAFUCKAH!

And here, for your enjoyment is the most awesome thing I've found since I quit my job (among other awesome things that escape me right now. Also I'm kinda drunk.):

a) do you have a Mac?
b) do you use jabber via ichat?
c) good, then open ichat and go to "preferences"
d) click on "alerts"
e) next to "event:" there is a drop-down menu. Click on "message received."
f) now click on "announce when event occurs" down there at the bottom
g) and last, but not least, have a trusted pal or companion write dirty things to you.

"Pee pee pooh pooh" is my favorite so far. "Vaginay," which is not a word, sounds hilarious and the Steven Hawkings-like voice doesn't seem to notice its absence from the dictionary. I'd like to thank my beautiful friend Brandon Snider for "pee pee" and "pooh poohing" for about 10 solid minutes while I laughed like a lunatic and called out to my roommate to listen. Best part was when we sort of forgot that this was happening and she started telling me something semi-serious (as opposed to laughing like assholes) and then we heard the voice say "Brandon Snider says - Fart."

Just, I mean... can you please... just please...try your best to make this happen, people. IT'S AWESOME.

And I am 5.


I love you all.

All 4 of you who still read this.