I just want you to know,

A Little MJ Love

It's not much, but here's a video I shot with a bunch of pals back in 2006 as my audition to be Ellen's new DJ. I, of course, used an MJ song because there are no better songs to jam to on the planet.

Enjoy.

RIP, Michael. Thanks for the sweet, sweet jams.



Love,

Glennis

PS - Please don't call me.

NY Stories

I am enjoy these a lot. If you haven't already watched, might I recommend comedian Jesse Popp (a friend of mine and a great person and stand up!) and The Singing Waitress from one of my favorite dives in the city - Marie's Crisis. A piano bar in the West Village that I used to frequent so often the piano player would see me come in, mouth, "give me 5!" and then would call me up to the piano to perch on a stool and sing a Gershwin number. Maggie has been the waitress there for years and years and she is one of the sweetest ladies on Earth.

I love little peaks into other people's lives. And this way it's totally legal!

xoxo

Glennis

Paralyzed by Glennis

This, my dear readers, is the poster for my new solo show: Paralyzed by Glennis! All the characters featured in this show have had their lives affected by living in fear.

I have operated from a place of fear for most of my life. Yep, it's true. I know you probably just fell off your chair because I'm such a loving and fabulous gal, but a lot of negative emotions are rooted in fear. This will affect your life, especially if you have no idea that that's what is going on. Jealousy, anger, denial - all forms of fear. I don't want to get all preachy but you get the idea.

One of my many obsessions is watching (mostly TV) shows about people who self-sabotage. I am fascinated by it. I think self-sabotage is the number one result of fear. I'm afraid to be happy/fabulous/rich/famous/smart/funny/etc. so I'm going to do everything in my power to keep myself from achieving those things. The ways in which people self-sabotage are infinite, but the end result is always the same and I can tell you one thing - it's not happiness. Some people just naturally operate from a place of love, but others have to fight to get through the shit-storm of fear to find happiness. And I love when they do because it reiterates my belief that no one wants to be miserable.

I'm taking a chance putting something I strongly believe in out there like this, but what's the other option? Letting my fear take over? I've tried that route and all it brings is misery and regret.

I hope I see your lovely and loving faces there. I really do.

LOVE,

Glennis

Fancy Pandies

Pandies as in Pandas as in I EAT. That's right, folks - if you haven't already heard about it through the Facebook grapevine, I Eat Pandas has gone extra fancy. We've pumped up the awesome to 2,000 (on a scale of 50) and we're kicking it all super hot style for you, the audience. Because without you we'd just be two super hotties and a kick-ass pianist talking to ourselves.

How are we fancier?

Well for one - we've stopped stealing. Eliza and I are, among other things, master thieves. We have a huge warehouse at the exact half-way point between our two houses and it's overflowing with cars, furs and diamonds. True, the cars are Fiats, the furs are squirrel and the diamonds are all set in Hello Kitty pendants, but all of it: stolen.

We're also fancier because we're getting grills put in our teeth. These grills:



Oh, did I forget to mention we're also becoming Vampires? We aren't stupid - we've noticed a trend in Vampire popularity lately and we're catching that train to stardom. The only difference in our case is we don't drink blood. Give us a nice bloody mary, thank you very much.

But the #1 fancy thing we've done of late is join forces with WET (Women's Expresive Theatre, Inc.) to move our show from the basement of a Gristedes to a fancy off-Broadway theatre. Can you dig that?!

We have two mo shows:

Mondays, June 22nd and June 29th at 9:30pm
DR2 Theatre - Union Square
103 East 15th Street
Btwn Union Sq East & Irving Place
$5.00

To add to the fancy they provide patrons of our show with free snacks and drinks. Stella, wine, cheese, crudite... none of these words we even uttered pre-fancy!

And so I think it needs to be said - here's our one chance fancy don't let us down.

See you at the DR2!

xoxo

Glennis

Totes Profesh

I apologize if you've already read this on my Facebook feed, but it bears repeatin', y'all.

This morning I had a voice over job at a studio which already has a spotty track record with this gal. I was almost late for a job the other day because the casting director kept me in the room for 15 minutes saying 3 lines 20 different ways. Infuriating, dudes! But, hey... I booked the job so I really can't complain, riyeet?

So I show up this morning and the receptionist, who is one of those scary ladies you don't want to piss off by saying, "hello" the wrong way, is already huffing and puffing. I timidly tell her I'm there and take a seat and then it starts. She gets on the phone and starts yelling at someone. She is dropping F-bombs left and right not even attempting to cover them up for, you know, any clients that might be around. I am appalled by her lack of professionalism, but I'm also intrigued. I also can't help but listen because I CAN'T LEAVE. So I gather from her conversation that she's pissed about someone whose child is in the hospital. I think they accused her of not calling or checking in on them and she keeps repeating, "I tried to call! She knows me better than that! She can fucking call ME if she wants to talk." It was... sad. What made it increasingly hilarious was the fact that she had Lady Gaga's Poker Face on REPEAT. No joke, guys, from 10:30am - 11:15 and then from 1!:30 - 12:20 I sat there in terror as the scariest receptionist on Earth (TSROE) yelled and jammed simultaneously.

How does she keep her job you might ask? I might ask that too if I wasn't so damn frightened of her. She did answer the office phone a few times which made it even more hilarious since she switched on a dime into her "profesh" voice. The thing that made it most confusing was that everyone who seemed to work there just walked past completely unfazed by her screaming into the phone. Fucking sick kids! They make me so angry, too!!

I finally got the OK to leave and I booked it out of there faster than she could drop another F-bomb.

And this, my friends, has been an insight into a day in the life of yours truly.

x's and o's

You fuckers.

Glennis

PS - I will never listen to Poker Face again. Count on that.

Girls Kick It

I know this is old news, but is there anything better than Beth Ditto?



No. No there is not.

Kick ass, ladies!

Glennis