Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Drunkin' Donuts

Oh Tara.

I mean... the girl is having fun. Which is more than I can say for myself most of the time. (If you think sitting in an office 10 hours out of my day is fun then you must think otherwise, friend.)

This picture is from one of my favorite websites: Gallery of the absurd. I mean really... could this girl BE more of a genius?

My Super Sweet Low Self Esteem

Never before have I EVER been rocketed back to my high shool days faster than while watching the abomination that is MTV's "My Super Sweet 16."

I record this show. I love to see how much people spend on their bratty little shits for an event that holds absolutely no significance whatsoever. What the hell is up with a big party for 16? You can't drink. You can't vote. You're probably going to get in at least a few accidents while driving and applying make-up. What the hell is so great about 16? Please, tell me.

So anyway. The show usually provides me with a good solid 22 minutes of gasps, "no way!"s and horified looks at the tacky dress they inevidibly choose.

But last night was a different experience all together. Amanda was on the scene.


Watching this girl plan, spend and eventually bitch about her not-so-Sweet 16 put me right back in my fat-girl overalls at Durango High School all over again. Not only did she slightly resemble the Senoir who tormented me in high school, but I could almost feel her telling me, through the tv, to "put down the ice cream sandwich, fatty." (it was a skinny cow!)




I sincerely hope she stays in Central Florida so she'll never have to face reality without daddy handing you thousands of dollars for a sweet 16 dress you wore for approximately 45 minutes.

If you missed the show I probably don't need to say much more. Either you were this girl in high school or you knew her.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Cafeteria Eyes

Texas Schools Launch 'Virtual Cafeteria.'

And with the news, school boys everywhere got a little less action.

Oh don't give me that look.

Like you never wanted to roll around in the mashed potatoes with your lunch lady.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

...and Going

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I received it as an email message.

Am I intrigued?

Creeped out?

In love?

I feel like a young lass again.

I know I'm young.

I know... I just meant I FEEL Younger.

Because I didn't WANT to just say that.


No YOU Stop it.

I don't sound like that.


That has nothing to do with this!

What are you even talking about.

Oh god, not the Vietnam story again.

I have to go.

Because I just have to!

This joke has gone on too long.


Is it possible to have a Package & a Camel Toe?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Upon closer inspection...

Yes it is.

Poor Ashlee

Cancel that trip to Ashgabat.

No, you will never live it down.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Yer not a-foolin' anyone

Dear Suits:

You can take the book jacket off, but we all still know you're a 40-year-old dude in a suit reading Harry Potter.

And that's....




Thursday, August 11, 2005

It's just one of those things

I'm gonna get deep for a second, so hold on.

A friend recently said something to me that changed a lot about how I think, feel, act... and it was pretty simple. She said she was taking a class with an improv GREAT (we're talking down-in-the-history-books GREAT) and she said something like, take what you need from improv and then use it in your life. not everyone should be or will be a great improviser.

Well jesus christ. Of course. Take what you can from it and use it in life. I don't have to be the best improviser there is and I'm not ever going to be. But I can take what I learned those years that I studied and performed and use it to do great things! And I will.

You guys, I'm pretty excited right now.

Things are good.


I know you are all just DYING to help a sister get to LA so please, if you haven't already, go to, click on "watch, vote & win" and then vote for "moments of grace" which is the bottom picture (a girl, me, holding a cello... looking sad.)

Also, did I mention this movie holds the record for having the SADDEST FACE EVER? Oh yeah. It's true.

Vote! Tell your friends!

And have a great day.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

office etiquette

Am I the only one who thinks office email could stand some brightening up? Is it just my sunny disposition that makes me it's ok to end an email to a co-worker with a cute little smiley-face at the end? A smiley "button" if you will. A little "have a nice day, suit!"

And exclamation points. Are those a no-go with office emails? Bold lettering to show your excitment? Where do we draw the line?

I happen to think people know I'm excited and not yelling so I feel free to let the over-use of capitalzation in my emails RUN WILD!! MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

There's no story to go along with this, I just often end my emails with a little smiley face and wonder if people don't take me seriously because of it.

"Hey there Jane!!

Thanks so much for letting me know your boss would be out of the office until Friday. I hope he's catching some rays!! GOODNESS KNOWS I COULD USE SOME!!!




Regardless and Iregardless... I'll continue to use them. If only to bring a little sunshine to the faces of my fellow employees.

LORD KNOWS THEY NEED IT!!! :) :) :) :) :)