Glesbo: My Super Sweet Low Self Esteem

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

My Super Sweet Low Self Esteem

Never before have I EVER been rocketed back to my high shool days faster than while watching the abomination that is MTV's "My Super Sweet 16."

I record this show. I love to see how much people spend on their bratty little shits for an event that holds absolutely no significance whatsoever. What the hell is up with a big party for 16? You can't drink. You can't vote. You're probably going to get in at least a few accidents while driving and applying make-up. What the hell is so great about 16? Please, tell me.

So anyway. The show usually provides me with a good solid 22 minutes of gasps, "no way!"s and horified looks at the tacky dress they inevidibly choose.

But last night was a different experience all together. Amanda was on the scene.

DADDY!!

Watching this girl plan, spend and eventually bitch about her not-so-Sweet 16 put me right back in my fat-girl overalls at Durango High School all over again. Not only did she slightly resemble the Senoir who tormented me in high school, but I could almost feel her telling me, through the tv, to "put down the ice cream sandwich, fatty." (it was a skinny cow!)

What.

A.

Bitch.

I sincerely hope she stays in Central Florida so she'll never have to face reality without daddy handing you thousands of dollars for a sweet 16 dress you wore for approximately 45 minutes.

If you missed the show I probably don't need to say much more. Either you were this girl in high school or you knew her.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: I SOOOOOOOOO agree! (I sounded like her there for a moment, huh? Gawd, let me shoot myself now!)

Great stuff, Glenners!!!

Mwah!!!
Ms McGoo; 1:34 PM

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."