Thursday, November 02, 2006

Glesbo Dream Dictionary

Recently, I've had a lot of conversations with people about their dreams and what they mean. I've been using the Glamour dream dictionary (weird, I know) to help interpret theirs, and mine, but let's be serious here, you guys. You know all your dreams really have something to do with me. That's why I created this handy-dandy, candy-mandy, dog-named-Sandy, Glesbo Dream Dictionary!

This won't be a complete list obvsies, because the book is over 1,000 pages long and that would take far too much time and I want you to purchase it for your family for Christmas. But this is a start. And I encourage you to email me your dreams so I can add them to my 2nd GDD!

Let's start with a dream my friend Laura had the other night in which she got shot in the head. Thumb through the GDD to page 249...

"Shot in the Head"
A dream about being shot in the head represents your love for Glennis' headshots. She's been thinking about getting them re-shot but you think she should keep them just the way they are. If you bleed a lot that means that if she were to get them re-shot it would be very expensive. If your wound heals right away you should offer to pay for Glennis' new headshots since you know she really wants them. If you are the one doing the shooting then you should offer to take the pictures for Glennis, which she will of course decline because you're not a good photographer.

Wow! Who knew!

Ok, here's another one from one of my readers, Matt. He had a dream about being under attack by the US Government. Page 570, Matt... here we go:

"Under Attack by the US Government" (I love how specific this book is.)
Glennis has a really cluttered room and always feels like her "things" are trying to attack her. You should offer to help her clean up.

Great, I love that one. Call me, Matt. We'll set that up.

Porter had a dream about a man knowing his wife had cheated on him just by looking at their dog. Let's see what GDD has to say about that!

"Dreams about Dogs and Cheating"
You want to buy Glennis this puppy.

And you want to take it out for walks so Glennis is not cheated out of much-needed sleep.

Exciting!! I'll need some dog food, too.

Now here are some common dreams shared by many people:

"I dreamed about my Ex-Boyfriend"
You want to be an ex-boyfriend of Glennis'. We understand! She treats he ex's really well. She let's them drunk dial her at all hours of the morning to tell her what a jerk she is. She knits them stuff. She reminds them of family member's upcoming birthdays. She lets them tell her about girls they like, who are not her, and how they're thinking of marrying them even though they didn't want to marry her. She is a very good ex so it's understandable you want to be one! Ladies, we know you fit in this category too! Don't worry, she plans on living a very long life. We're sure she can fit you all in (and then dump you) at some point!

Oh now I don't know about that. I don't ALWAYS pick up when ex's drunk dial me!

"I dream in Colors"
This one was a bit tricky at first because there are so many options! Here's what we here at the GDD have come up for you. If you dream about white you really want Glennis to sing at your wedding. (She's cheap!) If you dream about blue you are dreaming about Glennis' eyes. Her lusty, lusty blue eyes. We know... they're really more of a greyish-blue with specks of gold but it's a dream and dreams are sometimes a little vague. Green means you're thinking about her in terms of "grass being greener" and you want to be on her side (a very good side to be on) and Black means you think she's worn these same black pants to work for the past couple of months (and you would be correct, sir) and would like to buy her new pants. Grey means you really miss the episodes of Glennis' Anatomy (we're talking to you, Sarah) and Red means you're wondering how her blood pressure is (average). Orange is our favorite. It means you want to take her out to a 5-star restaurant (heck, why not make it 8 stars. She's worth it!) for a night of wining and dining. And why not invite her friends along! The more the merrier!

Mmmm, I love food.

"A Kiss"
You want to kiss Glennis.

Right on.

You're wondering how her parents are. They're fine!


You love her jazzy style.

Of course.

You should buy Glennis a Starbucks gift card.


"I hear music in my dream."
Music is a huge category because it can mean so many different things. Dreaming about a concert means there's a really great concert coming up that you will be taking Glennis to. That goes without saying. Dreaming about singing means you want to get Glennis a recording contract with a huge label. Music can also mean you are finding her name being sung in your head over and over and, although madenning, you never want it to stop. "Gle-eee-nii-iiis!" Oddly enough, dreaming out a musical instrument means you owe Glennis money. Call her.

Oooh I hope someone calls!

Wow, we're taking a lot of time with these... I don't want to ruin the book for you! Let me just say that my favorites you'll only find in the book are, "I dreamed about vacationing in Italy" and, "I dreamed about buying really expensive things."

The book will be for sale on Amazon just in time for Christmas and comes as a box set.

Happy reading!!



No comments: