(First... I totes booked that Listerine VO. I'm freaking out a little bit. What if they fire me because I can't do whatever the eff it was I did before (do they seriously want it to sound like an ORGASM!!? I doubt it!!) I record on Monday. I'll let you know how it goes. Weep. Yay! Cry.)
This weekend might have done me in.
My liver is thoroughly pickled. My eyes are permanently bloodshot. I might have lost a patch of hair somewhere in there.
But you know what?
I had FUCKING FUN.
Friday morning was just one of those morning's that's hard to describe. Just plain great!
At noon I met with the man who makes my comedy light burn in a lusty, lusty way (for his comedy, y'all... get yer minds out of the gutter). Brandon Snider. Sigh. Hearts. COMEDY HEARTS. God... you know what, a-holes? A guy and a girl CAN be platonic friends. How about that? Suck it.
Anyway, I had the most awesome cheeseburger and fries (apparently I need these in order to breath lately) and laughed loud and hard which made the suits eating nearby uncomfortable. Hey suits? Someone's stealing your personal supply of white-out. Scram.
Went back to my pad and waited for my friend Lindy to show up and watched some "Gilmore Girls." This is a message from the year 2000 Glennis: "Oh Em Gee, you guys! You should totally watch this show called "Gilmore Gals!" No wait... "Gilmore GIRLS!" Ug! It's SOOOOOOooooo gooooooooood. Ok... bye-zees!" Seriously, I'm on the bandwagon 7 years later.
Friday night Lindy and I decided to venture over to the Lower East Side. Or as I like to call it, "the land where everyone is cooler than me." (This can also be applied to Williamsburg, fyi.) I'm not saying it's true... it just appears that way. Whatever, we had a great time. Really great.
See? See how happy we are?
We went down to the basement and danced just like the old days and then hit the sack by 4am.
Friday night? Success.
Saturday night I went to see my friend Kate's show at The PIT, Cream of the Corp. Great show, great cast, fun times. (It's still playing, you guys should check it out.) My friend Jamie was having her 30th bday prom that night but we also had a party to go to for my agent's husband (gross. i felt gross just now typing that. and yet... i still keep it. i am gross, you guys!)...anyway...
The Prom was a great time even if none of you dbags DANCED. Yeah, you know who I'm talking to (everyone except me and Marcy, pretty much). Here are some cute pics...
I told the boys to look like they were gay for each other.
Will does that "creep" thing so well. And yet he's a great guy! (I'm just saying that cuz he reads my blog... he's a total creep.)
I just love this picture. Reminds me of Pretty in Pink. Or, no... wait. Sixteen Candles. Wait... aren't they the same movie? I don't know anymore. I'm old.
After the Prom we went down to Kush Lounge for the bday party of MY AGENT. I HAVE AN AGENT. I AM BETTER THAN YOU. (jesus. sorry.)
Now, I don't know if you guys have ever been to Kush lounge but apparently after about 10pm it turns into the fiery pits of hell. Standing outside in the line we encountered a whole myriad of douchebags! My favorite was the dude who came up with a huge cut/bloody/bruised cheek saying, "yo. I just got jumped. can i get in... now?" I mean... did he punch himself in the face to get into Kush? Seriously? My other favorite part of the night was when I realized how to communicate with Fratty Douchebags. My Borat impression. One guy standing near us said, "do you guys know which way Stanton is?" and when I told him he said, "very nice." So I replied, "VERY NIIICE" and he (and every other "dude" around) was hooked. I saw little roofie-shaped hearts appear in their eyes. When we FINALLY made it inside they made us check our coats (and made poor Marcy check her coat and her bag separately) for $3 each. Made us?! Oh sorry, for a second I thought we were in AMERICA. Sheesh. We got inside and I knew I wasn't going to last. It was like a subway at rush hour times a gagillion people. I turned around 3 steps in (after being told to "move bitch, get out the way." ok, it was Ludacris but STILL) and said, "I can't be here. We have to go." And go we did. Sorry everyone! I'll give you a $3 handie at some point.
We then went to Motorcity where I thought it would be a great idea to start drinking vodka on the rocks. Why? Who knows... but it resulted in this so it's probably ok:
After that I basically got so drunk I had to be thrown in a cab. But I kept my clothes on! Cuz I like to keep it classy, y'allz.
Is there anything else worth mentioning this weekend? Let's see. Had a great sketch class (I'm taking the writing for SNL class at the PIT with Ali. Great class!) and a great show (The Made Up Musical at the Magnet... no more shows until January. I'll let you know when cuz I know you'll want to see it). And last night I read my sexy wedding story at Galapagos (to an audience of literally 5s of people) and the man who ran the tech came up to me after and said, "I see this show every week and I only like 20% of the performers... and I loved you. You are very authentic." Authentically slutty. But seriously, great compliment. Especially since we're working on building up little Glennis' ego here after a rough couple of years.
Anywhozelbums (an oldie, but a goodie!) ...
That was my weekend, you guys. I hope you had a great one, too. Be safe out there, ok? I love you, ya hear?