Thursday, November 16, 2006

Hero!

Scene: Glennis sits in her apartment, on her couch (of course) watching the most recent episode of "Heroes."

The episode ends.

GLENNIS
(to herself. out loud.)
Oh man! That show is so great! I wish I had super powers!

Suddenly, a teeny tiny mouse appears in Glennis' hand! Eating chips!

MOUSEY
Did someone say "wish!?"


GLENNIS
Whoa! Where'd you come from!? Oh. My. God. You are sooooo cute!

MOUSEY
All right, yes yes, I'm tiny and adorable.


GLENNIS
No but seriously! Look at how tiny you are! Oh! Oh! And your ears! Oh my god they're SOOOO cute!

MOUSEY
Yes. Small ears. Check. But seriously, I'm here to talk to you about...


GLENNIS
(clasps other hand over mouth)
Oh my god.

MOUSEY
What!? A cat??! Is there a cat?!


GLENNIS
No. Your voice is SO CUTE!

MOUSEY
Oh my god. You don't get a lot of work done, do you?


GLENNIS
Not really. Why do you ask?

MOUSEY
Can we get back on track here? I'm here to help you find your super power!


GLENNIS
Wow! You're gonna grant my wish for a super power!?

MOUSEY
No, I don't grant wishes! I'm a mouse!


GLENNIS
But... but you said, "did somebody say, 'wish!?'" when you appeared. What's that all about?

MOUSEY
I don't know. It just seems like a great entry line. Like the Genie in Aladdin.


GLENNIS
The animated movie?! I love that one!

MOUSEY
Me too!!
(jumps up and down excitedly)


GLENNIS
Yay!!
(jumps up and down, too)

MOUSEY
Oh the part where Aladdin and Jasmine fly over the city!


GLENNIS
(sings)
A whole new woooooorld! A new enchanting point of view!

MOUSEY
You have a great voice.


GLENNIS
Thanks! I took lessons.

MOUSEY
You can tell.


GLENNIS
Thanks.

MOUSEY
You're really pretty too. For a giant.


GLENNIS
Thanks.

Glennis and Mousey stand quietly for a few seconds.

MOUSEY
Should we... should we do this whole "super powers" thing?


GLENNIS
Oh! Sure. Yes. Absolutely.

MOUSEY
Ok so basically we just have to go outside and try some stuff out and see what your super power is!


GLENNIS
This is so exciting!!

Glennis and Mousey walk outside. They stroll along for a few minutes.

GLENNIS
So, where did you say you were from?

MOUSEY
I didn't. Originally from Scottsdale, Arizona.


GLENNIS
No kidding! I'm from Colorado!

MOUSEY
You don't say! Wow. Small world.


Glennis and Mousey continue to walk.

GLENNIS
Quiet day.

MOUSEY
Oh my gosh I was just about to say the same thing! (laughs)


They continue to walk. Suddenly; sirens! Glennis and Mousey look at each other knowingly and run in the direction of the catastrophe! They arrive upon a brownstone in flames.



GLENNIS
A fire! This is perfect! Maybe I'm like the cheerleader and I can't get hurt!!

MOUSEY
GREAT! Wait, before you go... when was the last time you were injured!?


GLENNIS
Ummm... I don't know! Oh! I got a blister on my foot about a week ago!

MOUSEY
Did it heal right away??


GLENNIS
Pretty fast! I mean... a few days!

MOUSEY
Good enough!! GO!!


Glennis sets Mousey down and runs toward the burning building.

A Fireman sees her.

FIREMAN
Wait! Stop! Come back!


Glennis just rushes past him and into the burning building.

Mousey and Fireman stand waiting.

FIREMAN
You know her?


MOUSEY
(now standing in Fireman's hand)
You could say that.


Suddenly Glennis bursts out the front door of the building!

FIREMAN & MOUSEY
She's alive!



GLENNIS
I went into the wrong building... I'm goin back!!

FIREMAN
She's pretty cute.


MOUSEY
Back off! She's mine.


FIREMAN
Wow, relax man. I didn't know. We cool?


MOUSEY
(still a little upset)
I guess.


They stand around a few more minutes. Suddenly, Glennis bursts out of the burning building!!

GLENNIS
OH GOD! I'M BURNED!! I'M VERY BADLY BURNED!!! SOMEONE!! OH GOD!!! OWIE!!!

Glennis' face is almost unrecognizable.

MOUSEY
Yikes.


FIREMAN
Yeah, wow.


MOUSEY
She's all yours.


FIREMAN
No man. I'm cool. Actually, I might be gay.


MOUSEY
Oh yeah? Cool. That's cool. You wanna... get a drink?


FIREMAN
Cool. Ok.


Fireman and Mousey walk away.

GLENNIS
SERIOUSLY! PLEASE! SOMEONE HELP ME! I AM VERY BADLY BURNED! I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE MY EYES HAVE FUSED SHUT AND I'M RUNNING INTO THINGS FURTHER INJURING MYSELF! HELLO?? IS ANYONE THERE!? HELLO!? MOUSEY?? I DON'T THINK THIS IS MY SUPER POWER! OR WAIT, AM I HEALING?? MAGICALLY? HELLO? MOUSEY?

Anyone?

THE END

3 comments:

Eliza said...

Wow.
There is something wrong with you.

It's that you're too funny!

jeffreymarxthespot said...

I think Mousy and I had a one night stand about a year ago. He looks familiar. Asshole never called me back.

krist said...

I left my heart in Scottsdale Arizona.