I started talking to Jen yesterday about my Yoga entry. She mentioned what a great/terrible feeling it is being in a situation where you KNOW you can't laugh out loud which makes the urge to laugh even worse. It really is one of those wonderful/disastrous situations. Wonsastrous.
I started thinking about more of those situations I'd been in and then a terrible memory popped in my head. It's probably not something that happened solely to me, but it makes me feel shitty when I think about it. I laughed on 9/11. I got overwhelmed and when the towers fell, I laughed. And here's something else you'll want to judge me for... my ex-fiance was IN THE BUILDING. Yep. I'm a terrible human.
(he lived. and then I broke his heart! yay! i rule!)
I was walking to meet a friend for lunch yesterday and while standing, waiting to cross the street, a woman started to step out in traffic early and almost got hit by a car. Very close. And in my head (because I'm sick) I imagined her stepping out and instead of safely moving out of the way, she got smashed into. And the image was so real in my mind (because who hasn't seen that on tv) that the same urge started to come over me. The urge to laugh.
This isn't "Holy shit that's fuuuuuunny!" laughter, I'm sure you realize. This is "I'm too overwhelmed to properly deal with this!" laughter.
This is a terrible attribute to have, you guys!
I was able to cover my laughter up to look like crying when I was standing next to my ex's mother the moment we thought he was dead forever. (Dead forever? Not just for a little while?) But what if... ok so what if I lose my arms at some point in my life? I'm stuck in another terrible situation where everyone else is screaming and crying and I start to laugh uncontrollably and I have no arms to cover my face!? Then what!?
Holy shit...
Please, someone else out there tell me that you've been in the same situation.
And that's all. For today. Maybe.
Try not to judge too hard.
Love,
Glennis
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Sleepy Bighead
Borrowing a note from Eliza's midnight diary, I recorded a snippet of myself at my most tired (tiredest?) point of the week; tonight. This will be a weekly occurrence from now on. What if I'm wrong and I'm more tired at another point in the week? Well then you guys get another video. These are easy cuz I take them with my camera. No, not my video camera. My photo camera.
It's a good thing I've got a killer personality. I have a HUGE head.
Love,
Glennis
It's a good thing I've got a killer personality. I have a HUGE head.
Love,
Glennis
Foga (Fake Yoga)
The other day Liz and I went to our gym and took a yoga class with a woman who looked like Faye Dunaway (see below) and I swear to you it was a fake yoga class.
It's so unfair having hilarious stuff happen in yoga class because it's completely silent and the teacher is watching you the whole time. Keeping from laughing was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Our teacher started in the front of the room and was stretching out. She kept going, "oooh! Ouch. Eeeesh. OK. Bad knees." She did that for about 5 minutes which made me question whether or not she was actually our teacher. Then she started the class and said, "Hello everyone. Welcome to yoga. You can call me Dharma. Or Helen. I answer to both."
What?? Oh god. Don't laugh, Glennis. Hold it together, champ.
I was fine. I just looked at the ground, made SURE I didn't look at Liz cuz then it would TRULY BE OVER. She told us to sit in the first pose and close our eyes. I did and the urge to laugh completely left me. Let's do some yoga!
So we're going through the poses and she's clipping right along (which I HATE) but whatever, it's fine. We do some weird laying-on-our-back-with-our-knees-over-our-head-and-to-the-side thing and I really am worried that we're gonna get up and find our teacher stuck in that position. I'd never before done that pose in yoga. I think she made it up. (Fake Yoga!)
Oh and you should know that the whole time this class is going on there's this music playing. It sounds like maybe her son or her husband made up some word that sounded foreign and put it to some foreign sounding music in Garageband because I SWEAR it was the funniest (fake yoga!) music I've ever heard. It was like, "Awoodeee Awooodee Awooodaaa Akeychain Atoytruck Awoodeeeeee" over and over to different melodies. It was AWESOME.
Ok so at one point, and here's where I truly almost lost it, we're sitting down in a weird wrappy position and she's talking about the different color auras (or something) our body parts radiate. She says, "your anus is red. your sex parts are orange" and after that I don't remember because I had to hide my face in my shirt to keep her from seeing the TEARS streaming down it.
Our anuses are RED, you guys! Oh god it's just so good.
So class is almost over and we're doing the quiet, meditative ending thing. She tells us to open our minds to the universe. Or psychic messages. Swear to god.
I loved this lady so much. I hated the class but DamnitJanet, I loved her!
Liz and I got up to leave the class and I was dying to joke with her about it. DYING. We were still in the room when I looked at her with an "oh my god!" face and she just whispers, "Save it. SAVE IT!" which of course kills me.
Needless to say I won't be taking that yoga class again. I loved the teacher but damn it you guys... I hate fake yoga (I liked the real stuff at OM yoga center. That place ROCKS but it's so expensive!).
Know what I don't hate?
You guys. You're REAL.
xoxo
Love,
Glennis
It's so unfair having hilarious stuff happen in yoga class because it's completely silent and the teacher is watching you the whole time. Keeping from laughing was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Our teacher started in the front of the room and was stretching out. She kept going, "oooh! Ouch. Eeeesh. OK. Bad knees." She did that for about 5 minutes which made me question whether or not she was actually our teacher. Then she started the class and said, "Hello everyone. Welcome to yoga. You can call me Dharma. Or Helen. I answer to both."
What?? Oh god. Don't laugh, Glennis. Hold it together, champ.
I was fine. I just looked at the ground, made SURE I didn't look at Liz cuz then it would TRULY BE OVER. She told us to sit in the first pose and close our eyes. I did and the urge to laugh completely left me. Let's do some yoga!
So we're going through the poses and she's clipping right along (which I HATE) but whatever, it's fine. We do some weird laying-on-our-back-with-our-knees-over-our-head-and-to-the-side thing and I really am worried that we're gonna get up and find our teacher stuck in that position. I'd never before done that pose in yoga. I think she made it up. (Fake Yoga!)
Oh and you should know that the whole time this class is going on there's this music playing. It sounds like maybe her son or her husband made up some word that sounded foreign and put it to some foreign sounding music in Garageband because I SWEAR it was the funniest (fake yoga!) music I've ever heard. It was like, "Awoodeee Awooodee Awooodaaa Akeychain Atoytruck Awoodeeeeee" over and over to different melodies. It was AWESOME.
Ok so at one point, and here's where I truly almost lost it, we're sitting down in a weird wrappy position and she's talking about the different color auras (or something) our body parts radiate. She says, "your anus is red. your sex parts are orange" and after that I don't remember because I had to hide my face in my shirt to keep her from seeing the TEARS streaming down it.
Our anuses are RED, you guys! Oh god it's just so good.
So class is almost over and we're doing the quiet, meditative ending thing. She tells us to open our minds to the universe. Or psychic messages. Swear to god.
I loved this lady so much. I hated the class but DamnitJanet, I loved her!
Liz and I got up to leave the class and I was dying to joke with her about it. DYING. We were still in the room when I looked at her with an "oh my god!" face and she just whispers, "Save it. SAVE IT!" which of course kills me.
Needless to say I won't be taking that yoga class again. I loved the teacher but damn it you guys... I hate fake yoga (I liked the real stuff at OM yoga center. That place ROCKS but it's so expensive!).
Know what I don't hate?
You guys. You're REAL.
xoxo
Love,
Glennis
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
She's Ma Best Frend
I see this commercial all the time and absolutely LOVE it in the worst way. The accents are hilariously terrible. I searched for it on You Tube but I'm assuming it's not there since I did every variation of "terrible accents/commercial" I could think of. The commercial is for pennytalk.com and I literally sat in front of my tv with my camera and recorded it. And I think you can hear me crack up a little at the end.
So please...
enjoy.
Love,
Glennis
So please...
enjoy.
Love,
Glennis
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Rap Superstar
I mean... you guys. I kind of rule!
Ok, I didn't WIN last night. But I didn't back out of the show (which, trust me, I was strongly considering) so in my eyes I DID win!
I rapped about Gwen Stefani, my imaginary gay boyfriend, taking my opponent on a unicorn to a castle and braiding his hair. The usual stuff. I was not a MEAN rapper. I was a terribly hilarious rapper and that's ALL I COULD ASK FOR.
Seriously, the next time they do this show (probably January) you must attend. Eliza is a killer host and Shockwave, as always, drops the mad beats! (gross, Glennis)
I have to give a special thanks to my little sis, her boyfriend and their friends for coming and drunkenly screaming for me. I doubt I would have made it past round 1 had you not been there. <3 <3 <3
Oh and Thanksgiving was GREAT. I got to hang with an awesome family, drink wine, play with a 4 year old (legos are so fun you guys!) and, on the car ride back to the train, I got high! Ah yes, the ending all holidays should have. I hope you all had great Thanksgivings as well.
Now I'm either going to write for my class tomorrow... or go see The Departed. How much do you want to bet it's the laaatter!??? I love procrastinating.
Have a great weekend!!
Love,
Glennis
Ok, I didn't WIN last night. But I didn't back out of the show (which, trust me, I was strongly considering) so in my eyes I DID win!
I rapped about Gwen Stefani, my imaginary gay boyfriend, taking my opponent on a unicorn to a castle and braiding his hair. The usual stuff. I was not a MEAN rapper. I was a terribly hilarious rapper and that's ALL I COULD ASK FOR.
Seriously, the next time they do this show (probably January) you must attend. Eliza is a killer host and Shockwave, as always, drops the mad beats! (gross, Glennis)
I have to give a special thanks to my little sis, her boyfriend and their friends for coming and drunkenly screaming for me. I doubt I would have made it past round 1 had you not been there. <3 <3 <3
Oh and Thanksgiving was GREAT. I got to hang with an awesome family, drink wine, play with a 4 year old (legos are so fun you guys!) and, on the car ride back to the train, I got high! Ah yes, the ending all holidays should have. I hope you all had great Thanksgivings as well.
Now I'm either going to write for my class tomorrow... or go see The Departed. How much do you want to bet it's the laaatter!??? I love procrastinating.
Have a great weekend!!
Love,
Glennis
Friday, November 24, 2006
Mad Skillz!
Yo!
Ima be in a rap battle tonight!
Beatdown
hosted by Eliza Skinner & Shockwave
Mo Pitkin's
34 Avenue A (btwn 2nd & 3rd Streets)
Pre-show at 10pm
Battle starts at 11pm
$7
Peace!
Glennis
Ima be in a rap battle tonight!
Beatdown
hosted by Eliza Skinner & Shockwave
Mo Pitkin's
34 Avenue A (btwn 2nd & 3rd Streets)
Pre-show at 10pm
Battle starts at 11pm
$7
Peace!
Glennis
Thursday, November 23, 2006
T-Day
Hey there... what's going on?
Why are you reading my blog? It's Thanksgiving. Are you tried of your family already? I get it, guys. My sister...boy what an asshole. (i can say this because her wakeup text to me was "Happy Thanksgiving, asshole!"
Well... since you're here, avoiding your Uncle Harry, let's talk.
I had an amazing night of sleep. I'm feeling very rested! Amazing yes? I'm on the LIRR and we got primo seats facing each other. I'm just jammin out to my boyfriend JT's CD. Justified...rockin it old school on TDay.
I bought a bunch of wine because one should never ever show up empty handed to someone's house. Why, Brandon even brought flowers when I had a party. He knows the rules I tell ya.
Well, this typing while riding is making the sauseggchz turn in my tummy so I better run.
I hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving and remember everything you're thankful for. You know... aside from my blog.
Love,
Glennis
Why are you reading my blog? It's Thanksgiving. Are you tried of your family already? I get it, guys. My sister...boy what an asshole. (i can say this because her wakeup text to me was "Happy Thanksgiving, asshole!"
Well... since you're here, avoiding your Uncle Harry, let's talk.
I had an amazing night of sleep. I'm feeling very rested! Amazing yes? I'm on the LIRR and we got primo seats facing each other. I'm just jammin out to my boyfriend JT's CD. Justified...rockin it old school on TDay.
I bought a bunch of wine because one should never ever show up empty handed to someone's house. Why, Brandon even brought flowers when I had a party. He knows the rules I tell ya.
Well, this typing while riding is making the sauseggchz turn in my tummy so I better run.
I hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving and remember everything you're thankful for. You know... aside from my blog.
Love,
Glennis
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
My Friend Flickr
Ahhh... that title felt nice.
You guys, I'm totes obsessed with flickr.com. I was already obsessed with taking pictures of (me) events (me), friends (me), parties (me), etc... (ME) but I got annoyed that when you upload pictures to kodakgallery.com or snapfish.com they reduce the size of the image. Also, those dbags at snapfish.com keep sending me emails saying they're going to erase my account and all the photos if I don't place an order. WTF? Jerks.
So now I'm on flickr. And I'm OBSESSED.
I am organizing, titling, describing, tagging, sharing, favoriting all over the place! It's become so bad that even when I have work to do I'll instad go to flickr to tag more of my photos.
Speaking of photos, my camera's lcd screen just broke. It flickr'd out. I might ask for a new digital camera for Christmas. Any suggestions?
Ug...
I'm feeling a little blue today. Only because it's almost a holiday and holidays really get me down. Always have. I feel all this stress and pressure and can't just enjoy them. And this is the first Thanksgiving I'm "alone" in a long time. Even if my ex never wanted to spend Christmas with me (until I pushed and pushed... and PUSHED) he at least was around for Thanksgiving. Not that I'm without a place to go! My lovely, beautiful little sister and her boyfriend (that she lives with... I'm such a loser) invited me to tag along to his parent's house in Long Island. So... yes, I'll have a place to go and amazing food (and wine, I bet) but it's not the same.
Wow, what's up with that? I just got so depressing! Please ignore me.
And have a great Turkey day, you gobblers.
Love,
Glennis
You guys, I'm totes obsessed with flickr.com. I was already obsessed with taking pictures of (me) events (me), friends (me), parties (me), etc... (ME) but I got annoyed that when you upload pictures to kodakgallery.com or snapfish.com they reduce the size of the image. Also, those dbags at snapfish.com keep sending me emails saying they're going to erase my account and all the photos if I don't place an order. WTF? Jerks.
So now I'm on flickr. And I'm OBSESSED.
I am organizing, titling, describing, tagging, sharing, favoriting all over the place! It's become so bad that even when I have work to do I'll instad go to flickr to tag more of my photos.
Speaking of photos, my camera's lcd screen just broke. It flickr'd out. I might ask for a new digital camera for Christmas. Any suggestions?
Ug...
I'm feeling a little blue today. Only because it's almost a holiday and holidays really get me down. Always have. I feel all this stress and pressure and can't just enjoy them. And this is the first Thanksgiving I'm "alone" in a long time. Even if my ex never wanted to spend Christmas with me (until I pushed and pushed... and PUSHED) he at least was around for Thanksgiving. Not that I'm without a place to go! My lovely, beautiful little sister and her boyfriend (that she lives with... I'm such a loser) invited me to tag along to his parent's house in Long Island. So... yes, I'll have a place to go and amazing food (and wine, I bet) but it's not the same.
Wow, what's up with that? I just got so depressing! Please ignore me.
And have a great Turkey day, you gobblers.
Love,
Glennis
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend
(First... I totes booked that Listerine VO. I'm freaking out a little bit. What if they fire me because I can't do whatever the eff it was I did before (do they seriously want it to sound like an ORGASM!!? I doubt it!!) I record on Monday. I'll let you know how it goes. Weep. Yay! Cry.)
Ok now...
This weekend.
Oh lord.
Oh.
Lord.
This weekend might have done me in.
My liver is thoroughly pickled. My eyes are permanently bloodshot. I might have lost a patch of hair somewhere in there.
But you know what?
I had FUCKING FUN.
Friday morning was just one of those morning's that's hard to describe. Just plain great!
At noon I met with the man who makes my comedy light burn in a lusty, lusty way (for his comedy, y'all... get yer minds out of the gutter). Brandon Snider. Sigh. Hearts. COMEDY HEARTS. God... you know what, a-holes? A guy and a girl CAN be platonic friends. How about that? Suck it.
Anyway, I had the most awesome cheeseburger and fries (apparently I need these in order to breath lately) and laughed loud and hard which made the suits eating nearby uncomfortable. Hey suits? Someone's stealing your personal supply of white-out. Scram.
Went back to my pad and waited for my friend Lindy to show up and watched some "Gilmore Girls." This is a message from the year 2000 Glennis: "Oh Em Gee, you guys! You should totally watch this show called "Gilmore Gals!" No wait... "Gilmore GIRLS!" Ug! It's SOOOOOOooooo gooooooooood. Ok... bye-zees!" Seriously, I'm on the bandwagon 7 years later.
Friday night Lindy and I decided to venture over to the Lower East Side. Or as I like to call it, "the land where everyone is cooler than me." (This can also be applied to Williamsburg, fyi.) I'm not saying it's true... it just appears that way. Whatever, we had a great time. Really great.
See? See how happy we are?
We went down to the basement and danced just like the old days and then hit the sack by 4am.
Friday night? Success.
Saturday night I went to see my friend Kate's show at The PIT, Cream of the Corp. Great show, great cast, fun times. (It's still playing, you guys should check it out.) My friend Jamie was having her 30th bday prom that night but we also had a party to go to for my agent's husband (gross. i felt gross just now typing that. and yet... i still keep it. i am gross, you guys!)...anyway...
The Prom was a great time even if none of you dbags DANCED. Yeah, you know who I'm talking to (everyone except me and Marcy, pretty much). Here are some cute pics...
I told the boys to look like they were gay for each other.
Kittens!
Will does that "creep" thing so well. And yet he's a great guy! (I'm just saying that cuz he reads my blog... he's a total creep.)
I just love this picture. Reminds me of Pretty in Pink. Or, no... wait. Sixteen Candles. Wait... aren't they the same movie? I don't know anymore. I'm old.
After the Prom we went down to Kush Lounge for the bday party of MY AGENT. I HAVE AN AGENT. I AM BETTER THAN YOU. (jesus. sorry.)
Now, I don't know if you guys have ever been to Kush lounge but apparently after about 10pm it turns into the fiery pits of hell. Standing outside in the line we encountered a whole myriad of douchebags! My favorite was the dude who came up with a huge cut/bloody/bruised cheek saying, "yo. I just got jumped. can i get in... now?" I mean... did he punch himself in the face to get into Kush? Seriously? My other favorite part of the night was when I realized how to communicate with Fratty Douchebags. My Borat impression. One guy standing near us said, "do you guys know which way Stanton is?" and when I told him he said, "very nice." So I replied, "VERY NIIICE" and he (and every other "dude" around) was hooked. I saw little roofie-shaped hearts appear in their eyes. When we FINALLY made it inside they made us check our coats (and made poor Marcy check her coat and her bag separately) for $3 each. Made us?! Oh sorry, for a second I thought we were in AMERICA. Sheesh. We got inside and I knew I wasn't going to last. It was like a subway at rush hour times a gagillion people. I turned around 3 steps in (after being told to "move bitch, get out the way." ok, it was Ludacris but STILL) and said, "I can't be here. We have to go." And go we did. Sorry everyone! I'll give you a $3 handie at some point.
We then went to Motorcity where I thought it would be a great idea to start drinking vodka on the rocks. Why? Who knows... but it resulted in this so it's probably ok:
After that I basically got so drunk I had to be thrown in a cab. But I kept my clothes on! Cuz I like to keep it classy, y'allz.
Is there anything else worth mentioning this weekend? Let's see. Had a great sketch class (I'm taking the writing for SNL class at the PIT with Ali. Great class!) and a great show (The Made Up Musical at the Magnet... no more shows until January. I'll let you know when cuz I know you'll want to see it). And last night I read my sexy wedding story at Galapagos (to an audience of literally 5s of people) and the man who ran the tech came up to me after and said, "I see this show every week and I only like 20% of the performers... and I loved you. You are very authentic." Authentically slutty. But seriously, great compliment. Especially since we're working on building up little Glennis' ego here after a rough couple of years.
Anywhozelbums (an oldie, but a goodie!) ...
That was my weekend, you guys. I hope you had a great one, too. Be safe out there, ok? I love you, ya hear?
Love,
Glennis
Ok now...
This weekend.
Oh lord.
Oh.
Lord.
This weekend might have done me in.
My liver is thoroughly pickled. My eyes are permanently bloodshot. I might have lost a patch of hair somewhere in there.
But you know what?
I had FUCKING FUN.
Friday morning was just one of those morning's that's hard to describe. Just plain great!
At noon I met with the man who makes my comedy light burn in a lusty, lusty way (for his comedy, y'all... get yer minds out of the gutter). Brandon Snider. Sigh. Hearts. COMEDY HEARTS. God... you know what, a-holes? A guy and a girl CAN be platonic friends. How about that? Suck it.
Anyway, I had the most awesome cheeseburger and fries (apparently I need these in order to breath lately) and laughed loud and hard which made the suits eating nearby uncomfortable. Hey suits? Someone's stealing your personal supply of white-out. Scram.
Went back to my pad and waited for my friend Lindy to show up and watched some "Gilmore Girls." This is a message from the year 2000 Glennis: "Oh Em Gee, you guys! You should totally watch this show called "Gilmore Gals!" No wait... "Gilmore GIRLS!" Ug! It's SOOOOOOooooo gooooooooood. Ok... bye-zees!" Seriously, I'm on the bandwagon 7 years later.
Friday night Lindy and I decided to venture over to the Lower East Side. Or as I like to call it, "the land where everyone is cooler than me." (This can also be applied to Williamsburg, fyi.) I'm not saying it's true... it just appears that way. Whatever, we had a great time. Really great.
See? See how happy we are?
We went down to the basement and danced just like the old days and then hit the sack by 4am.
Friday night? Success.
Saturday night I went to see my friend Kate's show at The PIT, Cream of the Corp. Great show, great cast, fun times. (It's still playing, you guys should check it out.) My friend Jamie was having her 30th bday prom that night but we also had a party to go to for my agent's husband (gross. i felt gross just now typing that. and yet... i still keep it. i am gross, you guys!)...anyway...
The Prom was a great time even if none of you dbags DANCED. Yeah, you know who I'm talking to (everyone except me and Marcy, pretty much). Here are some cute pics...
I told the boys to look like they were gay for each other.
Kittens!
Will does that "creep" thing so well. And yet he's a great guy! (I'm just saying that cuz he reads my blog... he's a total creep.)
I just love this picture. Reminds me of Pretty in Pink. Or, no... wait. Sixteen Candles. Wait... aren't they the same movie? I don't know anymore. I'm old.
After the Prom we went down to Kush Lounge for the bday party of MY AGENT. I HAVE AN AGENT. I AM BETTER THAN YOU. (jesus. sorry.)
Now, I don't know if you guys have ever been to Kush lounge but apparently after about 10pm it turns into the fiery pits of hell. Standing outside in the line we encountered a whole myriad of douchebags! My favorite was the dude who came up with a huge cut/bloody/bruised cheek saying, "yo. I just got jumped. can i get in... now?" I mean... did he punch himself in the face to get into Kush? Seriously? My other favorite part of the night was when I realized how to communicate with Fratty Douchebags. My Borat impression. One guy standing near us said, "do you guys know which way Stanton is?" and when I told him he said, "very nice." So I replied, "VERY NIIICE" and he (and every other "dude" around) was hooked. I saw little roofie-shaped hearts appear in their eyes. When we FINALLY made it inside they made us check our coats (and made poor Marcy check her coat and her bag separately) for $3 each. Made us?! Oh sorry, for a second I thought we were in AMERICA. Sheesh. We got inside and I knew I wasn't going to last. It was like a subway at rush hour times a gagillion people. I turned around 3 steps in (after being told to "move bitch, get out the way." ok, it was Ludacris but STILL) and said, "I can't be here. We have to go." And go we did. Sorry everyone! I'll give you a $3 handie at some point.
We then went to Motorcity where I thought it would be a great idea to start drinking vodka on the rocks. Why? Who knows... but it resulted in this so it's probably ok:
After that I basically got so drunk I had to be thrown in a cab. But I kept my clothes on! Cuz I like to keep it classy, y'allz.
Is there anything else worth mentioning this weekend? Let's see. Had a great sketch class (I'm taking the writing for SNL class at the PIT with Ali. Great class!) and a great show (The Made Up Musical at the Magnet... no more shows until January. I'll let you know when cuz I know you'll want to see it). And last night I read my sexy wedding story at Galapagos (to an audience of literally 5s of people) and the man who ran the tech came up to me after and said, "I see this show every week and I only like 20% of the performers... and I loved you. You are very authentic." Authentically slutty. But seriously, great compliment. Especially since we're working on building up little Glennis' ego here after a rough couple of years.
Anywhozelbums (an oldie, but a goodie!) ...
That was my weekend, you guys. I hope you had a great one, too. Be safe out there, ok? I love you, ya hear?
Love,
Glennis
Monday, November 20, 2006
VO Porn Star
I went on a voice over audition the other day for Listerine where I was told to "gargle and improvise." So I basically had to gargle and then instead of saying "aaahhh" I had to make some other noise like "Aooooooogah!" So I go into the booth and my friend Carrie is running the audition and Seth, is running the board. Let me just say I had a hard time, um, not sounding like I was having an orgasm. Yeah. So Carrie and Seth made this for me and I am kind of in love with them now.
Enjoy!
(Might not be suitable for work. I'm just saying.)
Love,
Glennis
PS - I totes got a callback for this commercial. If I book it I'm going with orgasm noises for every audition from now on. Sorry, Huggies!
Enjoy!
(Might not be suitable for work. I'm just saying.)
Love,
Glennis
PS - I totes got a callback for this commercial. If I book it I'm going with orgasm noises for every audition from now on. Sorry, Huggies!
SMUT
If you guys are around the Williamsburg area and feel like you don't have enough Smut in your life, then hey, why not stop by Galapagos and watch me read my sexy wedding story in front of a room of strangers. Rrrreow.
SMUT
8pm
Galapagos Art Space
70 N 6th St
btwixt Kent/Wythe
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
directions
The New York Times writes about SMUT, "It's art that should carry a Parental Advisory label, with some of New York City's best writers and performers."
Hosted by my pal and the funniest chick in the Upper West Side, Katina Corrao.
Better bring some Ajax, cuz I hear it gets DIRTY in there.
(heyo)
Love,
Glennis
SMUT
8pm
Galapagos Art Space
70 N 6th St
btwixt Kent/Wythe
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
directions
The New York Times writes about SMUT, "It's art that should carry a Parental Advisory label, with some of New York City's best writers and performers."
Hosted by my pal and the funniest chick in the Upper West Side, Katina Corrao.
Better bring some Ajax, cuz I hear it gets DIRTY in there.
(heyo)
Love,
Glennis
Friday, November 17, 2006
Office Romance
Dear NBC,
Hey! It's Glennis. How are you? I just wanted to stop by and say um, listen... can you please make it so Pam and Jim are a couple? Please?! I swear I will keep watching. No really, that's not the only thing that keeps me watching! I love the show. I really do! I mean Stan alone... he's just retardedly funny, that guy. And I love the merging of the offices! Know what I hate? That Pam and Jim aren't together. Please? Pretty please?
Thanks.
I love you guys. Keep on... keepin on?
Love,
Glennis
Is this creepy? This is creepy, right? Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know how not to make this creepy. I look at these pictures a lot. I imagine myself as Pam. I know I KNOW she's not a real person! I know that! But she's kind of like me. Unassumingly attractive. Right? I mean if you really fix me... I mean her... up we'd be pretty ok looking right?? It's not so crazy to think that someone like Jim would be in love with us?? IS IT!?! IS IT, NBC?!?! WELL FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID FACES!!! FUCK YOU IN YOUR STUPID FACES! I COULD TOO GET JIM! YOU... YOU... YOU ALL HAVE SMALL PENISES!!! GOD DAMN IT ALL!!!
Um. Thanks.
Watch this video and maybe consider casting me... in something.
It doesn't have to be The Office.
...
I'm gonna go now.
...
...
...
I'm taking my pictures with me.
Hey! It's Glennis. How are you? I just wanted to stop by and say um, listen... can you please make it so Pam and Jim are a couple? Please?! I swear I will keep watching. No really, that's not the only thing that keeps me watching! I love the show. I really do! I mean Stan alone... he's just retardedly funny, that guy. And I love the merging of the offices! Know what I hate? That Pam and Jim aren't together. Please? Pretty please?
Thanks.
I love you guys. Keep on... keepin on?
Love,
Glennis
Is this creepy? This is creepy, right? Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know how not to make this creepy. I look at these pictures a lot. I imagine myself as Pam. I know I KNOW she's not a real person! I know that! But she's kind of like me. Unassumingly attractive. Right? I mean if you really fix me... I mean her... up we'd be pretty ok looking right?? It's not so crazy to think that someone like Jim would be in love with us?? IS IT!?! IS IT, NBC?!?! WELL FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID FACES!!! FUCK YOU IN YOUR STUPID FACES! I COULD TOO GET JIM! YOU... YOU... YOU ALL HAVE SMALL PENISES!!! GOD DAMN IT ALL!!!
Um. Thanks.
Watch this video and maybe consider casting me... in something.
It doesn't have to be The Office.
...
I'm gonna go now.
...
...
...
I'm taking my pictures with me.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Hero!
Scene: Glennis sits in her apartment, on her couch (of course) watching the most recent episode of "Heroes."
The episode ends.
GLENNIS
(to herself. out loud.)
Oh man! That show is so great! I wish I had super powers!
Suddenly, a teeny tiny mouse appears in Glennis' hand! Eating chips!
MOUSEY
Did someone say "wish!?"
GLENNIS
Whoa! Where'd you come from!? Oh. My. God. You are sooooo cute!
MOUSEY
All right, yes yes, I'm tiny and adorable.
GLENNIS
No but seriously! Look at how tiny you are! Oh! Oh! And your ears! Oh my god they're SOOOO cute!
MOUSEY
Yes. Small ears. Check. But seriously, I'm here to talk to you about...
GLENNIS
(clasps other hand over mouth)
Oh my god.
MOUSEY
What!? A cat??! Is there a cat?!
GLENNIS
No. Your voice is SO CUTE!
MOUSEY
Oh my god. You don't get a lot of work done, do you?
GLENNIS
Not really. Why do you ask?
MOUSEY
Can we get back on track here? I'm here to help you find your super power!
GLENNIS
Wow! You're gonna grant my wish for a super power!?
MOUSEY
No, I don't grant wishes! I'm a mouse!
GLENNIS
But... but you said, "did somebody say, 'wish!?'" when you appeared. What's that all about?
MOUSEY
I don't know. It just seems like a great entry line. Like the Genie in Aladdin.
GLENNIS
The animated movie?! I love that one!
MOUSEY
Me too!!
(jumps up and down excitedly)
GLENNIS
Yay!!
(jumps up and down, too)
MOUSEY
Oh the part where Aladdin and Jasmine fly over the city!
GLENNIS
(sings)
A whole new woooooorld! A new enchanting point of view!
MOUSEY
You have a great voice.
GLENNIS
Thanks! I took lessons.
MOUSEY
You can tell.
GLENNIS
Thanks.
MOUSEY
You're really pretty too. For a giant.
GLENNIS
Thanks.
Glennis and Mousey stand quietly for a few seconds.
MOUSEY
Should we... should we do this whole "super powers" thing?
GLENNIS
Oh! Sure. Yes. Absolutely.
MOUSEY
Ok so basically we just have to go outside and try some stuff out and see what your super power is!
GLENNIS
This is so exciting!!
Glennis and Mousey walk outside. They stroll along for a few minutes.
GLENNIS
So, where did you say you were from?
MOUSEY
I didn't. Originally from Scottsdale, Arizona.
GLENNIS
No kidding! I'm from Colorado!
MOUSEY
You don't say! Wow. Small world.
Glennis and Mousey continue to walk.
GLENNIS
Quiet day.
MOUSEY
Oh my gosh I was just about to say the same thing! (laughs)
They continue to walk. Suddenly; sirens! Glennis and Mousey look at each other knowingly and run in the direction of the catastrophe! They arrive upon a brownstone in flames.
GLENNIS
A fire! This is perfect! Maybe I'm like the cheerleader and I can't get hurt!!
MOUSEY
GREAT! Wait, before you go... when was the last time you were injured!?
GLENNIS
Ummm... I don't know! Oh! I got a blister on my foot about a week ago!
MOUSEY
Did it heal right away??
GLENNIS
Pretty fast! I mean... a few days!
MOUSEY
Good enough!! GO!!
Glennis sets Mousey down and runs toward the burning building.
A Fireman sees her.
FIREMAN
Wait! Stop! Come back!
Glennis just rushes past him and into the burning building.
Mousey and Fireman stand waiting.
FIREMAN
You know her?
MOUSEY
(now standing in Fireman's hand)
You could say that.
Suddenly Glennis bursts out the front door of the building!
FIREMAN & MOUSEY
She's alive!
GLENNIS
I went into the wrong building... I'm goin back!!
FIREMAN
She's pretty cute.
MOUSEY
Back off! She's mine.
FIREMAN
Wow, relax man. I didn't know. We cool?
MOUSEY
(still a little upset)
I guess.
They stand around a few more minutes. Suddenly, Glennis bursts out of the burning building!!
GLENNIS
OH GOD! I'M BURNED!! I'M VERY BADLY BURNED!!! SOMEONE!! OH GOD!!! OWIE!!!
Glennis' face is almost unrecognizable.
MOUSEY
Yikes.
FIREMAN
Yeah, wow.
MOUSEY
She's all yours.
FIREMAN
No man. I'm cool. Actually, I might be gay.
MOUSEY
Oh yeah? Cool. That's cool. You wanna... get a drink?
FIREMAN
Cool. Ok.
Fireman and Mousey walk away.
GLENNIS
SERIOUSLY! PLEASE! SOMEONE HELP ME! I AM VERY BADLY BURNED! I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE MY EYES HAVE FUSED SHUT AND I'M RUNNING INTO THINGS FURTHER INJURING MYSELF! HELLO?? IS ANYONE THERE!? HELLO!? MOUSEY?? I DON'T THINK THIS IS MY SUPER POWER! OR WAIT, AM I HEALING?? MAGICALLY? HELLO? MOUSEY?
Anyone?
THE END
The episode ends.
GLENNIS
(to herself. out loud.)
Oh man! That show is so great! I wish I had super powers!
Suddenly, a teeny tiny mouse appears in Glennis' hand! Eating chips!
MOUSEY
Did someone say "wish!?"
GLENNIS
Whoa! Where'd you come from!? Oh. My. God. You are sooooo cute!
MOUSEY
All right, yes yes, I'm tiny and adorable.
GLENNIS
No but seriously! Look at how tiny you are! Oh! Oh! And your ears! Oh my god they're SOOOO cute!
MOUSEY
Yes. Small ears. Check. But seriously, I'm here to talk to you about...
GLENNIS
(clasps other hand over mouth)
Oh my god.
MOUSEY
What!? A cat??! Is there a cat?!
GLENNIS
No. Your voice is SO CUTE!
MOUSEY
Oh my god. You don't get a lot of work done, do you?
GLENNIS
Not really. Why do you ask?
MOUSEY
Can we get back on track here? I'm here to help you find your super power!
GLENNIS
Wow! You're gonna grant my wish for a super power!?
MOUSEY
No, I don't grant wishes! I'm a mouse!
GLENNIS
But... but you said, "did somebody say, 'wish!?'" when you appeared. What's that all about?
MOUSEY
I don't know. It just seems like a great entry line. Like the Genie in Aladdin.
GLENNIS
The animated movie?! I love that one!
MOUSEY
Me too!!
(jumps up and down excitedly)
GLENNIS
Yay!!
(jumps up and down, too)
MOUSEY
Oh the part where Aladdin and Jasmine fly over the city!
GLENNIS
(sings)
A whole new woooooorld! A new enchanting point of view!
MOUSEY
You have a great voice.
GLENNIS
Thanks! I took lessons.
MOUSEY
You can tell.
GLENNIS
Thanks.
MOUSEY
You're really pretty too. For a giant.
GLENNIS
Thanks.
Glennis and Mousey stand quietly for a few seconds.
MOUSEY
Should we... should we do this whole "super powers" thing?
GLENNIS
Oh! Sure. Yes. Absolutely.
MOUSEY
Ok so basically we just have to go outside and try some stuff out and see what your super power is!
GLENNIS
This is so exciting!!
Glennis and Mousey walk outside. They stroll along for a few minutes.
GLENNIS
So, where did you say you were from?
MOUSEY
I didn't. Originally from Scottsdale, Arizona.
GLENNIS
No kidding! I'm from Colorado!
MOUSEY
You don't say! Wow. Small world.
Glennis and Mousey continue to walk.
GLENNIS
Quiet day.
MOUSEY
Oh my gosh I was just about to say the same thing! (laughs)
They continue to walk. Suddenly; sirens! Glennis and Mousey look at each other knowingly and run in the direction of the catastrophe! They arrive upon a brownstone in flames.
GLENNIS
A fire! This is perfect! Maybe I'm like the cheerleader and I can't get hurt!!
MOUSEY
GREAT! Wait, before you go... when was the last time you were injured!?
GLENNIS
Ummm... I don't know! Oh! I got a blister on my foot about a week ago!
MOUSEY
Did it heal right away??
GLENNIS
Pretty fast! I mean... a few days!
MOUSEY
Good enough!! GO!!
Glennis sets Mousey down and runs toward the burning building.
A Fireman sees her.
FIREMAN
Wait! Stop! Come back!
Glennis just rushes past him and into the burning building.
Mousey and Fireman stand waiting.
FIREMAN
You know her?
MOUSEY
(now standing in Fireman's hand)
You could say that.
Suddenly Glennis bursts out the front door of the building!
FIREMAN & MOUSEY
She's alive!
GLENNIS
I went into the wrong building... I'm goin back!!
FIREMAN
She's pretty cute.
MOUSEY
Back off! She's mine.
FIREMAN
Wow, relax man. I didn't know. We cool?
MOUSEY
(still a little upset)
I guess.
They stand around a few more minutes. Suddenly, Glennis bursts out of the burning building!!
GLENNIS
OH GOD! I'M BURNED!! I'M VERY BADLY BURNED!!! SOMEONE!! OH GOD!!! OWIE!!!
Glennis' face is almost unrecognizable.
MOUSEY
Yikes.
FIREMAN
Yeah, wow.
MOUSEY
She's all yours.
FIREMAN
No man. I'm cool. Actually, I might be gay.
MOUSEY
Oh yeah? Cool. That's cool. You wanna... get a drink?
FIREMAN
Cool. Ok.
Fireman and Mousey walk away.
GLENNIS
SERIOUSLY! PLEASE! SOMEONE HELP ME! I AM VERY BADLY BURNED! I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE MY EYES HAVE FUSED SHUT AND I'M RUNNING INTO THINGS FURTHER INJURING MYSELF! HELLO?? IS ANYONE THERE!? HELLO!? MOUSEY?? I DON'T THINK THIS IS MY SUPER POWER! OR WAIT, AM I HEALING?? MAGICALLY? HELLO? MOUSEY?
Anyone?
THE END
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Pack it Up, Pack it In
Back at work after a long weekend. It's never as fun here as I remember it being. And I don't remember it being all that fun so that's saying a lot, work! You hear me?!? Wow, I just got really angry. I didn't mean to yell. It's not your fault you suck so much b-hole, work.
My stupid computer's speakers don't work unless I plug my ipod directly into the cordy thing so I can't listen to kexp.com (what new bands am I missing out on oh GOD!?!) but I can listen to my ipod so that's fun.
Today I decided to risk it and put the ol' pod on shuffle even though I realize this will only result in every Johnny Cash song, every sound effect from my Celebutantes sketch show (toilets flushing, dramatic stings and belches) and every Disney or Muppet song playing, I just couldn't decide on what to listen to.
It started out all right, I suppose. The first song up was "Jump Around" by House of Pain which, if I haven't already mentioned here before, I still know all of the words to. This is because when I was in middle school I really liked a boy named Brian Moore. Oh Brian. (hot, shuddery sigh) He was new to our school, you see. And I had a big old fat juicy crush on him. One day we were on the bus going somewhere and I asked him what tape he was listening to. Upon finding out it was House of Pain I immediately went to Sam Goodie, bought the tape and listened to it over and over until I, too, could be a huge fan. Cut to a couple of weeks later when I tried to strike up a conversation with him about HOP. I'm pretty sure it went something like this:
GLENNIS
(humming Jump Around... can you hum rap?)
BRIAN
Are you humming rap?
GLENNIS
Me? What? Oh! Yeah... ug I have Jump Around stuck in my head! Jeeeeeez. What a great song right?
BRIAN
Yeah. Really great. You wanna go out?
GLENNIS
(holy shit it worked!)
Yeah cool. I guess.
Seriously you guys! It totes worked! And I actually really liked the group too (SO WHAT IF IT WAS FOR THE WRONG REASONS, ANONYMOUS B-HOLE! RIGHT!?! SO WHAT!? You're so in love with me.) after that.
And so we dated and then he dumped me for someone hotter. Oh well, that's life! I wonder what happened to Brian Moore. If you google yourself and find this email me! I'll let you come over and start up where we left off... which I believe was under the shirt, over the bra. Rrrreow.
So yeah. House of Pain at work. Totes fine.
Then I skipped over some shitty stuff and songs I've heard a million times. Then my boss asks me to pick up something from the color printer. I step away from my desk for two freakin' seconds and when I get back what's blasting? Black or White by MJ, which must have a higher sound...rate? than other songs on my ipod. I mean to tell you, it was LOUD. NOT the song you want blasting from your speakers at 10am at work. Especially when everyone here already thinks I'm a complete weirdo or drunk or whatever whenever I do anything out of the ordinary. (I told you some lady yelled across the room at me "are you drunk!?" during the birthday celebration in October because I was clapping along, yes?)
I leaped across my desk to turn down the song that, had this happened in 1991 would have made me ultra cool, but since it's 2006 made me look super retardo and possibly a little drunk. Or maybe I would have only looked drunk had I started dancing and singing to it in my cubicle. I have nothing against this song, mind you. It's on my ipod after all and features rapping by Bill Bottrell and guitar by Slash for crying out loud!
AnyWhooverDam...
I finally realized that putting your ipod on shuffle while at work (or, more specifically MY ipod) is really risky. Kind of like not wearing panties when it's raining outside, you're wearing roller skates and there are a bunch dicks sticking up out of the ground. Kind of like that, right guys? So... I put on Regina Spektor instead.
At least Leslie Ann Levine by The Decemberists didn't come on. I don't know if you know this song but it's about an aborted baby. And her name is Jewish. And I work in a predominantly Jewish law firm. And there is a woman who works here whose name is, I kid you not, Leslie Ann LEVIN. Wow right?
Ok kids, that's it from me. I hope you're having a great day. I really do.
Love,
Glennis
My stupid computer's speakers don't work unless I plug my ipod directly into the cordy thing so I can't listen to kexp.com (what new bands am I missing out on oh GOD!?!) but I can listen to my ipod so that's fun.
Today I decided to risk it and put the ol' pod on shuffle even though I realize this will only result in every Johnny Cash song, every sound effect from my Celebutantes sketch show (toilets flushing, dramatic stings and belches) and every Disney or Muppet song playing, I just couldn't decide on what to listen to.
It started out all right, I suppose. The first song up was "Jump Around" by House of Pain which, if I haven't already mentioned here before, I still know all of the words to. This is because when I was in middle school I really liked a boy named Brian Moore. Oh Brian. (hot, shuddery sigh) He was new to our school, you see. And I had a big old fat juicy crush on him. One day we were on the bus going somewhere and I asked him what tape he was listening to. Upon finding out it was House of Pain I immediately went to Sam Goodie, bought the tape and listened to it over and over until I, too, could be a huge fan. Cut to a couple of weeks later when I tried to strike up a conversation with him about HOP. I'm pretty sure it went something like this:
GLENNIS
(humming Jump Around... can you hum rap?)
BRIAN
Are you humming rap?
GLENNIS
Me? What? Oh! Yeah... ug I have Jump Around stuck in my head! Jeeeeeez. What a great song right?
BRIAN
Yeah. Really great. You wanna go out?
GLENNIS
(holy shit it worked!)
Yeah cool. I guess.
Seriously you guys! It totes worked! And I actually really liked the group too (SO WHAT IF IT WAS FOR THE WRONG REASONS, ANONYMOUS B-HOLE! RIGHT!?! SO WHAT!? You're so in love with me.) after that.
And so we dated and then he dumped me for someone hotter. Oh well, that's life! I wonder what happened to Brian Moore. If you google yourself and find this email me! I'll let you come over and start up where we left off... which I believe was under the shirt, over the bra. Rrrreow.
So yeah. House of Pain at work. Totes fine.
Then I skipped over some shitty stuff and songs I've heard a million times. Then my boss asks me to pick up something from the color printer. I step away from my desk for two freakin' seconds and when I get back what's blasting? Black or White by MJ, which must have a higher sound...rate? than other songs on my ipod. I mean to tell you, it was LOUD. NOT the song you want blasting from your speakers at 10am at work. Especially when everyone here already thinks I'm a complete weirdo or drunk or whatever whenever I do anything out of the ordinary. (I told you some lady yelled across the room at me "are you drunk!?" during the birthday celebration in October because I was clapping along, yes?)
I leaped across my desk to turn down the song that, had this happened in 1991 would have made me ultra cool, but since it's 2006 made me look super retardo and possibly a little drunk. Or maybe I would have only looked drunk had I started dancing and singing to it in my cubicle. I have nothing against this song, mind you. It's on my ipod after all and features rapping by Bill Bottrell and guitar by Slash for crying out loud!
AnyWhooverDam...
I finally realized that putting your ipod on shuffle while at work (or, more specifically MY ipod) is really risky. Kind of like not wearing panties when it's raining outside, you're wearing roller skates and there are a bunch dicks sticking up out of the ground. Kind of like that, right guys? So... I put on Regina Spektor instead.
At least Leslie Ann Levine by The Decemberists didn't come on. I don't know if you know this song but it's about an aborted baby. And her name is Jewish. And I work in a predominantly Jewish law firm. And there is a woman who works here whose name is, I kid you not, Leslie Ann LEVIN. Wow right?
Ok kids, that's it from me. I hope you're having a great day. I really do.
Love,
Glennis
Monday, November 13, 2006
Totes
Yo guys. What's up? Me? Oh not much. Just stuffed a cheeseburger and fries in my mouth while watching Ops and crying. Yeah, that's how I roll.
Seriously, Oprah made me weep just now. (Crying while eating is a great look for me) It was the show about how this one school had a "Challenge Day" where they put all the Junior & Senior students in a room to break down the walls. The walls! Yeah! The students sat together in small groups and said, "If you really knew me you'd know that..." and everyone did it. And one kid apologized for being a racist and this one kid who was gay said he cried himself to sleep at night. Oh man so sad. Made me think about high school and how fucking HARD IT IS. How the hell did we do it, right guys? I mean seriously. Do I want kids for realzies? Yeah because Oprah's gonna change the world. I'm counting on you, Ops! Break down those walls so my little baby "Bajina" will have a happy high school experience. Cuz I'm really, really set on that name.
Ok I've stopped crying. And the cheeseburger is in my belly. Mawmawmaw... mmm food.
I'm gonna start that diet one of these days. I just love food so much. SO MUCH. Food is my boyfriend. I love you, food. Wanna go on a date tonight? I'll meet you at the corner of "my mouth" and "fork".
Have you guys still not listened to The Blow? God, what the hell guys? You don't like good things or something? I'll burn it for you. Just give me your address. I'll bring it over and we can eat food, hold each other and cry while listening to "Pardon Me."
So Liz and I are taking a sketch writing class at the PIT right now. And we're working on commercial parodies and I wrote one for a child development game called "Baby Hipster, or Whatever" made by hipsters, for hipsters. I used the words "totes" and "doi" in there (doi was used ironically, of course) and the teacher had NO idea what I was talking about. It was kind of the most adorable thing ever. And he goes, "what's 'dwa?'" You know, because in French (which he says he studied in college) "doi" reads as "dwa." So that's my most favoritest thing that's happened lately.
Let's see... what else. Oh! I had a party at my house! My first party!! Here are a few shots of the festivities.
Liz, Jeff & Thadd are really excited about my new couch!
Brandon and I realize that we're the new Burns & Allen.
Amanda's grandpa walked out without pants on!
I asked Marcy to marry me!
And then we all went to sleep. Aww... we're adorable.
Welp, I guess that's it for today.
Love,
Glennis
Seriously, Oprah made me weep just now. (Crying while eating is a great look for me) It was the show about how this one school had a "Challenge Day" where they put all the Junior & Senior students in a room to break down the walls. The walls! Yeah! The students sat together in small groups and said, "If you really knew me you'd know that..." and everyone did it. And one kid apologized for being a racist and this one kid who was gay said he cried himself to sleep at night. Oh man so sad. Made me think about high school and how fucking HARD IT IS. How the hell did we do it, right guys? I mean seriously. Do I want kids for realzies? Yeah because Oprah's gonna change the world. I'm counting on you, Ops! Break down those walls so my little baby "Bajina" will have a happy high school experience. Cuz I'm really, really set on that name.
Ok I've stopped crying. And the cheeseburger is in my belly. Mawmawmaw... mmm food.
I'm gonna start that diet one of these days. I just love food so much. SO MUCH. Food is my boyfriend. I love you, food. Wanna go on a date tonight? I'll meet you at the corner of "my mouth" and "fork".
Have you guys still not listened to The Blow? God, what the hell guys? You don't like good things or something? I'll burn it for you. Just give me your address. I'll bring it over and we can eat food, hold each other and cry while listening to "Pardon Me."
So Liz and I are taking a sketch writing class at the PIT right now. And we're working on commercial parodies and I wrote one for a child development game called "Baby Hipster, or Whatever" made by hipsters, for hipsters. I used the words "totes" and "doi" in there (doi was used ironically, of course) and the teacher had NO idea what I was talking about. It was kind of the most adorable thing ever. And he goes, "what's 'dwa?'" You know, because in French (which he says he studied in college) "doi" reads as "dwa." So that's my most favoritest thing that's happened lately.
Let's see... what else. Oh! I had a party at my house! My first party!! Here are a few shots of the festivities.
Liz, Jeff & Thadd are really excited about my new couch!
Brandon and I realize that we're the new Burns & Allen.
Amanda's grandpa walked out without pants on!
I asked Marcy to marry me!
And then we all went to sleep. Aww... we're adorable.
Welp, I guess that's it for today.
Love,
Glennis
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