Break on Through!!

Last night was amazing. It was one of those nights I've been waiting for for a long time and I can't even tell you how insignificant it probably seemed to everyone else. Last night I did Carolyn & Nichelle's final Chicks & Giggles show at Ochi's Lounge.

See?

Not really something to write home about! Not that the show is insignificant by any means but performing in a show isn't really groundbreaking news. Unless you're me!

For the longest time (woahoohoh) there's been a self-sabotaging voice inside my head trying to fuck with me. Saying things like "why are you even bothering with this? no one thinks you're funny. you're NOT funny. you're so god awful, why even GO on auditions?" EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Like all day long. And I'd fight that stupid voice with every ounce of strength I had. I'd talk about it in therapy, I'd give myself pep talks, I'd do shows and go on auditions but that voice... that fucking voice... that stupid voice always won!

So I knew I had to do something to change that. I knew I had to prove that stupid part of my brain wrong. Just one little thing, that's all it would take. I wrote that post about Going For It and I meant it. I really did. But you can talk about something till you're blue in the face but talking won't change shit! I had the best intentions to put together an audition tape, I really did mean to work on characters and show everyone (MYSELF) what I can do, but unless you do it it really doesn't matter, now does it. You can say you're going to donate money to cancer research but if no one gets a check you're just a dude with good intentions. Cancer ain't gonna cure itself, bitches!

But I'm getting off track.

So I put it out there in that post and my dear friend Carolyn got my vibes (or read my blog) and asked me to do their final show which brings me to last night.

It was different. I wasn't nervous; I was excited. I haven't been excited to be on stage in a long time. A LONG time. It's not that I don't love performing but when that voice takes over it's the most painful experience. It's all based in fear and doubt and when does that ever produce good results. All I can say is thank god for Eliza Skinner because without her our Pandas shows would have been shit. I know I added some stuff but a lot of me stood there going "fuck. fuck. what do I do. fuck! I have nothing!" I was afraid to do anything. Afraid it would be the wrong choice. Not afraid that Eliza would hate it, not afraid the audience would boo me, just... afraid. Full of doubt and fear.

So there I was last night about to go on stage BY MYSELF. No Eliza. (She was there but what was I going to do call to her in the audience? Grow up, McMurray.) And this feeling of confidence was there and this feeling of excitement and I just sat there wishing and hoping and praying it wouldn't go away the minute I set foot on the stage. Praying that little voice would sleep through my act.

Carolyn called me up to the stage. I stood up. There was no blurry tunnel vision. There was no heartbeat in my ears. I walked toward the stage and didn't feel like I was going to pass out. I got ON the stage and looked at the audience. Really looked at them. I took a minute and I let them know who was in charge here! Hey, fucko to the left who talked through the first 10 minutes of the show! You! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH ME! And I said that all with my eyes. SPOOKY.

Maybe not.

But you get the idea.

I finished my piece, walked off the stage and half expected everyone to jump up and down with me going "you did it! you did it, Glennis!" Of course, no one did because like I said... it was just a show. After the show was over a girl told me I was hilarious and to my surprise I said thanks and meant it. Before I would have said thanks and then thought, "you clearly don't know shit."

I keep almost writing, "I'm not going to say I'll never hear that voice again..." but I can't! I really can't even write it because I don't EVER want to hear that voice again!

Sigh. What a great night, you guys.

Go team!

Love,

Glennis

The Luv-enator

Isn't this photo of Gov Paterson hilarious coupled with the story about his extramarital affairs??



How on Earth did they capture a picture of him mid-Nut Bust?! He's really showin his "OH" face! Got a little game of pocket polo goin on down there, do ya!?

Hold on someone is waving at me from across the room. Jesus can't they see I'm in the middle of a hilarious routine?

WHAT?

Nooooo...

Get out of town!

Legally blind, huh?

Wow.

So...

Wow.

But it really does look like he's C-ing doesn't it?

Yeeaaaah.. High Five!


Love,

Glennis

Lost Approved

Jin NEEDS the panda. Do you?

See you tonight @ UCB @ 9:30pm.

xoxo

Glennis

Whoa-oh-oh On the Radio

Hey guys!

You can hear me and my pal Becky Yamamoto on Maxim Sirius Radio tomorrow night (Weds, March 12) at 8pm on the DeVore & Diana Show dishing and dirtying up the airwaves with our filthy minds. It'll be a blast and you can hear us for free with a trial subscription! Follow this link!

DeVore and Diana
7 pm - 11 pm ET
Eighty proof radio for men who love women, and the women who put up with their crap. Join former Maxim magazine Senior Writer John DeVore and the first lady of Maxim Radio, Diana Falzone, Monday through Friday, 7 pm to 11 pm ET. John loves calling bull@#! on stuck up bastards, and Diana's a multi-talented hottie with an angel's voice and a dirty twinkle in her eye. Crack a beer, bring an opinion, and hang with these two every night as they fight, laugh, make-up, and talk from the gut about sex, realtionships, pop culture, and the weirdest, most disturbing news of the day.

Love,

Glennis

GO FOR IT

I wrote a post last year about the Year of No Fear. This was in the midst of me sitting through weekly therapy sessions saying things like "But what if..." and "I'm just afraid that if I do that..." I knew I wasn't really in the Year of No Fear no matter how many times I said it. But sometimes you just have to put those things out there. The thing I need to work on is being accountable for what I say and even what I write on this here blog.

For example?

Someone came up to me a few months ago and said, "oh hey, how did your SNL tape come out?" It took me a second of going "what the hell is this person talking about?" before I realized I had written that on my blog. It was part of my Year of No Fear! Going for something I was afraid of doing but had always wanted to. And now look at what's happened? They hired a new girl, someone I knew of and who did comedy in the same places I did, and I didn't even put myself out there. Rejection or not it's a far worse feeling to not have ever tried something, I'm finding.

So I've decided, with much hemming and hawing over holding myself accountable for this, that 2008 is the Year to GO FOR IT. Go team McMurray!

What does this mean for you, dear reader? Well, among other things, more blog posts. How's that for something? And more Glennis on camera. While putting together my reel (ahem, while MATT PUT IT TOGETHER - I love you honey) it became painfully clear how little on camera stuff I had been doing lately and how many ideas I had each day that I let slip by for one reason or another. Putting yourself out there is scary and I commend anyone who does it! Even if it garners a few negative responses (and let's face it, anonymity + a computer = instant asshole) you have to believe that these people are proud of what they've done. Eliza is one of the hardest working comedians I know right now, working hard on her own videos, constantly writing, always coming up with new ideas and I admire her for that. The people spouting their negativity should step away from the computer and try to create something unique and interesting for a change. Guess what? I guarantee you won't find Eliza sitting at her computer commenting on Youtube to make people feel shitty about what they're putting out there. She has better things to do.

So, as my first order of business in my Year to GO FOR IT I will indeed be working on characters for an SNL audition tape. I'm going to start posting a character once or twice a month (possibly more) on this blog and on a Youtube page. There. It's out there, McMurray! You are now accountable!

In addition to that I'll be putting myself out there further and GOing FOR IT even more hard core by auditioning for American Idol. There it is! It's out there! It's maybe not my ultimate dream but you know what? Neither is sitting here in an uninspiring office. Going out for American Idol is something interesting and fun... let's GO FOR IT!

So, are you ready for this or what? I am. My GO FOR IT hat is on and I'm about to toss it in the ring (and then put another one on to keep my head warm).

It's going to be a good year.

Love,

Glennis

For Reel

UG! Ok you guys! Here is my freaking acting reel, already! Now will you please stop asking?



Love,

Glennis

Question

Is it less grody to find a hair in the BEGINNING of your sandwich or the END?

YOU TELL ME, SUBWAY.

Wait, what are you doing reading this! Put your g.d. pants on and get on over to the UCB Theatre! I Eat Pandas is doing a show in less than 2 hours! What are you waiting for?!

GO!

GO!

GO!

And...

I love you.

Glennis

In Depth

This morning I sat down with myself for a little interview. This is what I had to say.

Glennis
Good morning, Glennis.

Glennis
Good morning.

Glennis
Do you remember where you were the first time you said the phrase "24/7"?

Glennis
No. But I remember the first time I screamed it.

Glennis
Good one.

Glennis
Thanks.

Glennis
How do you feel about Nazis?

Glennis
They're ok.

Glennis
Really?

Glennis
Did you say "Nazi's" or "Donuts"?

Glennis
Nazi's

Glennis
Oh then I hate them.

Glennis
So you like donuts?

Glennis
Who said that?

Glennis
You did. You just said it.

Glennis
Weird.

Glennis
You just flashed your crotch.

Glennis
Did I?

Glennis
Yes.

Glennis
I guess I really do like donuts.

Glennis
Wow.

Glennis
...

Glennis
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go right now?

Glennis
I'd shrink myself down and go inside myself.

Glennis
That's impossible.

Glennis
That's what she said.

Glennis
That doesn't even make sense.

Glennis
It does if the guy said, "grow a dick."

Glennis
You're right. That does make sense.

Glennis
And two dimes make cents.

Glennis
Good one. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

Glennis
I'd be Native American so I don't have to shave.

Glennis
That's borderline.

Glennis
Racist?

Glennis
Yes.

Glennis
Edit that part out. Ask me again.

Glennis
If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

Glennis
I'd be black so I could be really good at...

Glennis
Are you going to say "sports"?

Glennis
Yes.

Glennis
Should I ask it again?

Glennis
Just computer animate me saying something non-racist.

Glennis
We don't have a budget.

Glennis
Why not.

Glennis
You're writing this on a blog.

Glennis
I see.

Glennis
Shall I go on?

Glennis
Clearly.

Glennis
What is your biggest regret?

Glennis
Not keeping in that earlier statement about Native Americans.

Glennis
In life? That's your biggest regret?

Glennis
Yes. Why, what's yours?

Glennis
I murdered a bag of kittens.

Glennis
How do you feel about getting out of here and getting a drink or something?

Glennis
You want to get a drink with yourself because you murdered kittens?

Glennis
No I'm just thirsty. You murdered kittens?

Glennis
Yes, I just said that.

Glennis
I wasn't listening.

Glennis
You're typing this.

Glennis
That's what she said.

Glennis
This interview is over.

Glennis
That's what she said.

Glennis
That actually makes sense.

Glennis
Can you find my remote control before you leave?

The End

Tagged the Hard Way

Eliza blog tagged me (which is how we play tag in the 21st century - no physical effort or human contant) and so now I post.

Three Things I Learned The Hard Way

1. Have a Plan
I moved to NY at the age of 18. Literally just picked up and moved. There is no way in HELL I could do that today but at 18 it was the most obvious thing I could have done. It was like putting milk in your fucking cheerios... DUR. NY was my milk. So I packed 5 bags, withdrew a whopping $500 from my accounts in Boulder (where I lived for a brief time after highskoo) and hopped aboard an east-bound flight to NY. In general I'd say I have really fond memories of that time even if it was HOLY BALLS, THE WORST IDEA OF ALL TIME. I lived with a 90-year-old who went insane, I slept in the closet of an apartment for a week then on the floor of my own bare apartment for 2 weeks, I learned to make a 6-inch sub last 3 days, I jumped turnstyles, etc... etc... etc... I called my poor mother crying more than a few times and really, this was all completely unecessary. I'm here to tell you that moving without a plan is a bad idea BUT, as you can see, I ended up ok and honestly I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything in the world if they made me who I am today. Allz I'm sayin is I ain't about to do that shit again. Lesson learned!

2. Joint bank accounts are a recipe for disaster
You know those women you see on Oprah who were stuck in an abusive relationship because they had no way of getting out? That was me, kind of, and it sucks. I was engaged to be married at 21 years old and like a big retard I put every penny I earned into a bank account with the man I was with. Why? Because I loooooved him so muuuuuch and we were gonna be together foreeeeeever. COME ON. I didn't even believe that to tell you the truth! What if your ass gets dumped or something terrible happens and you are screwed? Huh? What then? What if your lovah says "see ya" and you say "gimme some dough" and he says "nope, you bought this and this and paid for this with OUR money so this shit is MINE." Yeah bitches what you gonna do then!? I'll tell you what you're gonna do - you're gonna sleep in your friend's closet for 2 weeks. Just fucking listen to me... there is absolutely no reason all of your money needs to go into a joint account. Put 1/2 in... Put 1/4 in... whatever... just leave some in your private, personal account so you don't have to grovel for a few dimes when the shit hits the fan. I learned this shit the HARD way and I'm never making that mistake again. Lesson learned!

3. Go pee when you have the chance
I don't know what my fucking problem is but I never go pee when there's a bathroom right there at my disposal. I always so "I can wait!" and then I end up almost pissing myself 1/2 way to my next destination. What the frig, G? Use the bathroom! It's free! Anyway, yeah I've peed my pants before so that lesson was clearly wasted on me. I can't think what "the hard way" would be if I still haven't learned after PISSING MYSELF ON A SUBWAY PLATFORM. Perhaps having The Star Spangled Banner play while neon arrows shoot out my bum to point at the ever-expanding stain on my pants? Perhaps. Lesson pending!

And now, my dearest readers, I tag the following people:

Liz Black
Carolyn Castiglia
Becky Yamamoto
Ann Carr
Jen MacNeil
Matt Sears

Hope you all learn from MY mistakes and have a great day!

Love,

Glennis

Weekend Bust Out!

This past weekend Matty and I decided we'd had enough of NY and all it's conveniences at our fingertips! We were going to rough it! Take it to the streets! Live in canvas tents and romp nude through the woods!

... or just drive up to Providence and back. But oh was it ever close to the experience I just provided!

Friday we set off in our fancy shmancy Zipcar (with a very convenient pick-up location 3 blocks from my house) in the snow. Boy was there ever snow. But our little Mazda "Mandi" handled like a dream. A good dream. Not a nightmare. Don't get it twisted.

We set on up the Henry Hudson Parkway to I-95, me in the drivers seat Matty rocking out to something on the radio, when Matt picks up the water from the center console and says, "this water is cold!" and takes a big gulp. Imagine everything from this moment on in slow motion...

I think: "That's cuz it's been in the car!"
Then: "...overnight!"
Followed by: "wait... where did he get water?"
My head slowly turns and I say, "Matty...where did you get that water?"

He looks down, mortified... "WHERE DID THIS WATER COME FROM!?!"

Oh man I almost crashed the car it was so funny/disgusting/hilarious/HILARIOUS. Poor Matt drank someone else's water - the previous Zipcardigan's water. WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHO THAT WAS!!?! Gross. Poor Matt! And the worst thing about it? It was raspberry flavored water. Nothing worse than flavored water in my absolutely certain opinion.

But we persevered! Switched seats 1/2 way through the trip when the weather got really bad and saw about 6-8 cars on the side of the road. A few were bad accidents, some were just slipnslides but one things for certain: it did not at all stop people from zipping past us at 60+ miles an hour as we puttered along (safely) in the slow lane. Idiots.

We arrived in Providence at around 5pm just in time, I thought, to attend DDPP Providence. I've never been to another DDPP before and I was super excited but the snow was way too much so they had to cancel. Bummer! But it gave us more time to spend with Matt's brother and sister-in-law and the cutest baby of all time: Grace Cassidy McCarthy. I mean COME ON... she is amazing. And do you want to know the absolutely best thing about this baby aside from her kick-ass attitude and huge brain?? She rocks out to Zeppelin. You heard me. The little squirt knows her music! While eating cheerios we put on a Zeppelin doc on the TV and she was ENTRANCED. Every time a song started she started rocking out. Amazing! If my kids love Zeppelin I'll die. Just DIE.

Let's see what else did we do. Rocked out my credit card at Target and got a new yoga mat. Tried to sled on a styrofoam boogie board (hilarious. please try it.). Oooh'd and aaah'd over the cutest baby ever. Sigh.

While at Target we purchased some $10 cds for our car ride home including a best of Beach Boys. Dammit you guys that music is amazing. So rich and deep and textured and all those other music terms they use to describe great music. We listened to Help Me Rhonda like 20 times and I remembered how much Little Surfer Girl makes me sad even though the lyrics are sweet. They don't write songs like these anymore.

Back in NY Sunday night we watched parts of the Oscars (even though I am so not into award shows) and Marion Cotillard made me cry. Matt and I set to the task of putting a reel together for a meeting I had with the Broadcast Dept at my agency Monday morning. We got a late start and by 2am I was stupid tired. Matt ushered me into the bedroom and stayed up until 5am finishing it. Ladies... that is a man right there. AMAZING. (Oh and he's my soon to be roommate... hollah!)

All in all I'd say our weekend was pretty darn close to perfection even if there was no nude forest romping to be had.

Hope yours was fab as well.

Love,

Glennis

Vogue - Strike a Pose

My caliber for talent, as far as photography skills go, is how hot the photog can make me look. On that scale I give Anya Garrett an A++ for the set of I Eat Pandas promo shots she took this past weekend. Amazing. Hire this girl before she's all famous and shit and you can't even look her in the lens anymore!

Enjoy...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sketchartists/sets/72157603945383039/

(She took some amazing headshots of me as well if you're at all interested here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sketchartists/sets/72157603945387631/ See? Genius! I look hot but not hotter than I really am! Wow... this therapy shit is really working. I'm so in love with myself you guys.)

xoxo

Glennis

The Show! It Must Go On!

Last night Pandas did the first of two shows at Under St. Marks (on more left on Weds Feb 6th!) but this one was special. Why? Because I vomited BIG TIMES right before the show! Food poisoning or something... I'm home today trying to force some food down my throat so I don't have to miss anything I've got going on.

Such as what??

Such as!

DRINK AT WORK'S EXTENDED FAMILY SHOW!
Date: Jan 31, 2008 (Thu)
Location: The Green Room
Address: 45 Bleecker St.
City/State: New York, NY
Start: 10:30 PM
End: 11:30 PM

Carol Hartsell and Sean Crespo, the parents of the Drink At Work Show, are delighted to announce the upcoming birth of their grandchild, DRINK AT WORK'S EXTENDED FAMILY, which will be delivered Thursday Jan. 31 at 10:30 pm in the Green Room. And for only $12 you can watch. Nobody is judging. "Extended Family" brings together the hosts and performers from NYC's best variety shows past and present for one night only of all-star sketches: including DRINK AT WORK's Sean and Carol, KISSING BOOTH's Brandy Barber and Sara Jo Allocco, SHARK SHOW'S Gabe McKinley and Nick Stevens, GIANT TUESDAY'S Rob Gorden and Mark Douglas, GET PSYCHED's Rob Lathan and Adira Amram, MATT AND KATINA's Matt McCarthy and Katina Carrao, I EAT PANDAS' Glennis McMurray, COMEDY IGLOO'S Kevin Janus, HER MAJESTY'S STAND UP's Lucas Held, with performances from comics Dan Allen & Anthony Devito, as well as human-one-man show Will Franken.

At the moment of completion of DRINK AT WORK'S EXTENDED FAMILY, Comedy itself will have completed its mission and will promptly curl up and die. Come out and enjoy your LAST CHANCE TO LAUGH EVER! WE'RE VERY SORRY!

How fun is that? I saw a lot of the show at tech the other night and trust me...it's gonna be GOOD.

Other than that, not too much going on. I totally haven't broken the ECNY award (yet) but it's only a matter of time - as ELIZA REMINDS ME EVERY DAY.

Hope you are all having a great day, great weekend, go Super Bowl Sunday!

Love,

Glennis

A Win!

Hey guys!

I Eat Pandas won an ECNY award last night for "Best Improv Group" and we couldn't have been more pleased. Insider secret: we totes jumped up and down like girls backstage after accepting.

Look! Look at how excited we are!


(Photo by Keith Huang, whom I finally had the pleasure of meeting last night and he's a real peach!)

Also, according to theApiary.org, IEP had the highest percentage achieved in the popular vote at 37.7%! YOU GUYS!!

It was a super fun night and great to see everyone dressed up to the nines. This community of comedians are some of the most supportive, wonderful people I have ever met and I am so PROUD to know them ALL!

Now, down to business: if you've never caught I Eat Pandas you have 4 chances coming up!

Weds, Jan 30 (Tomorrow!) & Feb 6
8pm
UNDER St. Marks Theatre
94 St. Marks Place btwn 1st Ave and Ave A
Tickets $10, $8 with Student ID
Reservations (recommended): pandaeaters@gmail.com

Featuring stand up by our favorite NY comedians! Matt McCarthy & Sean Crespo (Jan 30) and Adira Amram and Baron Vaughn (Feb 6)!

AND

Mon, Jan 4 & 11
9:30pm
UCB Theatre
307 W 26th @ 8th Ave
$5.00
Reservations: 212-366-9176

See you there. And if you voted... thank you :)

Love,

Glennis

DDPP - Have You Still Not Been?

Dance Dance Party Party (my baby, my creation, my monster!) is still going strong... but not strong enough! We're getting a nice little story about us on NPR's Weekend America which is AMAZING. We've had write-ups in Bust Magazine, Time Out NY, German magazines and so on and so forth and yet... our attendance in NY still leaves something to be desired!

If you're unfamiliar with DDPP it really has become so much more than what it sounds like. The basics are: a dark room, disco light spinning, ladies bouncing, running, spinning, laughing and singing along to Madonna, M.I.A., Biggie, Tom Petty... you name it. You burn around 500 calories (so I'm told) and leave beaming, but like I said it's so much more.

It's become this amazing space where spirits are lifted and self-esteems are mended. I received an email from one of our loyal attendees which basically said DDPP had saved her life. I'm not even exaggerating. It's almost magical! I'm not saying all this to toot my own horn either... we didn't really start DDPP (myself and Marcy Girt) with this in mind. We honestly just wanted a space where we could go, dance, get some exercise and have fun without everything that comes with a night at the clubs.

I don't want to get too cheesy but...well I really am really in love with DDPP.

So if you're reading this and feel like forwarding this post to your friends please do! Feel like coming? Awesome! Want to post something on your blog? Amazing!!

It's sweeping the nation and pretty soon we're going to have women everywhere who walk with their heads held high because for one hour a day they don't have to worry about any of the things that come with being a woman today.

DDPP is every Sunday at 2 in NY at 440 Studios (440 Lafayette Street @ Astor Place, 6 to Astor Place). Check http://dancedancepartyparty.wordpress.com for more information and www.dancedancepartyparty.com for more locations!

Love,

Glennis

PS - Did you know "The Heat is On" was NOT sung by Kenny Loggins but by Glenn Frey? (I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man) Thanks to Paul for pointing that out!

It's OVER!

2007 is over and what a year it was! I lost love, found love. Lost jobs, gained jobs. Gained a bunch of friends (don't think I lost any...) and most importantly gained a whole bunch of weight. Mmmmm pizza at 2am!

Highlights from the past two weeks:

1. Dinner with my mom, her husband Ben, my sister, her man Frank and Matt at Dallas BBQ on December 21st. My mom and her hubby arrived in NY (after driving from NC following a flight from New Mexico) at 4:30pm and by 6:00pm, as we were just finishing our meal, Ben went out to discover the car was GONE! GONE! The car was GONE! They parked in a no-parking zone from 4-7pm (oops we know how to read) and they towed our damn car. Every other car was still there but oh no, not ours. They had to miss my Christmas show and spent most of their night getting their car out of tow. $160 + a $70 ticket. What a racket!

2. A nearly sold-out I Eat Pandas show at UCB which made up for the fact that I had to work the 26th & 27th (taking a train back Christmas night to make it on time to a job you despise ain't the jam, y'all). There were only about 6 people in the audience that we knew which was AWESOME!

3. Getting drunk with friends after the aforementioned IEP show. Kate was at the show with her sister and sister's man who were visiting from LA. In addition to that my other favorites, the Burke family, showed up and took me DOWN. I was so drunk I got home at 2am, missed my 6:55am train (but really is that even necessary? a 7am train? PLEASE.) and finally got my sorry ass on a train at 8:30am. I didn't vomit but it was close.

4. Hanging out with Matt's family. What can I say? They made my Christmas amazing and I could never ever repay them. I tried to repay a little bit (because I can't ever just take something without mounds of guilt) by taking pictures of the Lord & Taylor windows for Matt's mom (she loves that stuff and couldn't make it to NY this year) but their internet is bad so they couldn't see them. So here:



5. Hanging out with little Grace. She's 8 months old and she's a McCarthy and I adore her. What a little PEACH!! I want one! Tomorrow! Ok, not tomorrow but jesus being around that kid made my uterus bananas for a kid. Speaking of uteri... we were blacked out early in our 2nd musical because poor Patrick couldn't see the clock. To keep the show going I just started singing the word I said when the lights went out over and over and over. That word was Uterus. Eliza joined in and it was a hoot. Hey guys... I hope we get a uteRUN at the theatre. Huh? Amirite??

6. Wedding on New Years Eve. Possibly the best NYE I've had. Matt and I went to his friend's wedding in Providence. We went shopping a few days before (at the mall dubbed Eliza and Glennis' mall because we had been there more times than Matt who GREW UP IN PROVIDENCE. Ok so what if he's a boy.) and I found the cutest dress for $28 for Forevsies 21 and cutest shoes (not $28) and threw that shit together last-minute (why didn't I bring something to wear knowing I had a wedding to attend? See: #3) and looked FIIIINE. Matt looked HOT and we rocked it. We were the jam. We rolled into the ceremony a little late and then, because there were 2 hours to kill, Matt, two of his friends and I went to a bar for pre-wedding drinks. As we were sitting there a story came up about how when we were in Chicago and Matt was driving me and his drunken friends home (see picture below for explanation as to why we were drunk off one beer)



I said, "you guys! I have the best song!" and proceeded to itrip my pod up and play "The Heat is On" by Mr. Kenny Loggins. NOW. I'm not sure when the last time you heard this song was but it, my friends, is AWESOME. Kenny Loggins was THE MAN. He sang Footloose AND The Heat Is On AND the theme from Caddyshack (I'm Alright) AND Dangerzone! COME ON! If nothing else he was the king of soundtrack songs!

WELL.

After telling everyone what "the best" song was I got them excited for some Loggins (I think the beer helped) so Matt, his friend Vin and I got in our car (after almost stealing his friend Dan's girlfriend away for the ride - she loves the Logg too) and proceeded to jam to The Heat is On. THE Jam. After that song Vin asks if I have any other Loggins. DO I!? Ok I had one. Footloose. Which I started playing just as we rolled into the wedding and Matt, being the most fun boyfriend ever, rolled down the windows and BLASTED IT to announce our arrival. We later heard from his friend and his girlfriend that everyone standing outside was like "that is HILARIOUS." I think they especially liked the part where I stuck my head out the window and shouted a big yelping WOOOOOOH!!

To top the night off I requested Footloose and it was the last song the band played of 2007. THE JAM!!

7. Before I left for Christmas I recorded a Pop tarts VO so you should look out for me as a bratty little girl cooking a pop tart and I say something like "Ahhh! The smell of success!" (I also did some hmms and eep noises for the lady pop tart. And now you know... the REST of the story.)

Had a great train ride back and slept like a baby once back in my own NY bed. What a lovely vacation!

Hoping you all had good times galore. And remember, when life hands you lemons you jammonit and make some LOGGINS-aide!

(I'll quit. I swear.)

Have a great night! Happy New Year!

Glennis

Comic BANS

(Inspired by Carolyn's post)

Comic Sans font you are the thorn in my side! You are the burn on my toast! You are the chip in my soft pallet! You truly are the font of death.

Here's something you should know about writing a letter of importance to people with, oh I don't know, information about your father's health and his finances: maybe don't write it in a font that is classified as casual, non-connecting script that is for casual (are we seeing a connection here?) use in informal documents. Listen, I know you're trying to be all friendly with our communication but it's goddamn hard to read something important when this is performing surgery on my eye sockets!



And the capital letters! Don't even get me started on the allcaps!

There is nothing in this blessed world that should be written in comic sans except the very things it was named for: COMIC BOOKS.

And I'm not alone in my hatred of comic sans! From wikipedia:

Comic Sans has become the subject of a campaign by some designers to limit or eliminate its use, on the grounds that (as typographic purists claim) it is poorly designed and that its inclusion in the Microsoft system fonts package lends itself to inappropriate use—for example, as a text face in documents or at large sizes in signage.

There is even a website trying to put an end to the madness! Their tag line, bless their punny little hearts is, "putting the sans in comic sans." I love two-fold. (I mean I'm not gonna sign their petition because, you know, I'm not a woman of action [or character] but it suits me just fine if you'd like to. Let's not get me started on my irrational fear of someone, someday, drudging up every keystroke I've ever made on the internet for public display and ridicule. The amount of time I spend reading about Siegfried & Roy is shame enough thank you very much.)

I often allow other people to express my feelings for me so I don't perform dirty sexual acts on your minds with my lack of grammar and literary skills so here, read this:

We believe in the sanctity of typography and that the traditions and established standards of this craft should be upheld throughout all time. From Gutenberg's letterpress to the digital age, type in all forms is sacred and indispensable. Type is a voice; its very qualities and characteristics communicate to readers a meaning beyond mere syntax.

And it's true! Comic Sans is fucking offensive. It's like saying the word CUNT. No one wants that (except maybe me and Matt at the top of our lungs while driving a car) especially not around grandma. That's what comic sans is like to me. Saying cunt in front of mawmaw. AND SHE'S DEAD YOU GUYS. DOUBLE OFFENSE.

Honestly when I read letters in that font, specifically in allcaps, I read it as if a child is screaming at me. It hurts my lady parts, guys. It really does.

In summation, I'm not asking for the complete and total ban of this font. It has its uses (Like if your child is really mad and wants to write a letter to someone? Have at it!) just please, I beg of you, keep it far away from mine eyes.



Love,

Glennis

PS - Did anyone see that documentary on Helvetica? Just interested because I thought it looked pretty Hel-lish. Get it. Hel..ish..

Breakinthelaw Breakinthelaw

You guys I got a mother effin speeding ticket this past weekend. But how Glennis!? You do not drive!! You live in New York! Welp, guys... I drove to North Carolina in a stolen vehicle (ok, it was rented but that makes the story better, right?) and while driving at around 12am I was pulled over going 83 miles an hour.

What happened first was I noticed flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror. Kelsey asleep in the back, Matt cozied up next to me, I muttered "fuck" and then "I'm getting pulled over." As I stopped the car I started yelling at Kelsey "give me my shoes! give me my shoes!" She was, naturally, confused so I yelled louder "GIVE ME MY SHOES I'VE BEEN PULLED OVER!" It's illegal to drive without shoes on, I think. And if it's not then I goddamn didn't want to risk it!

I hadn't been pulled over since high school. Granted I haven't been driving all that much since high school but still, it was a newish experience and not really to my liking.

What you should know is that moments earlier Matt had been driving. Without a license. And we hadn't put a 2nd driver on the car. But dudes... is it better to drive and possibly crash from exhaustion or let someone (without a license) drive? I ask you.

So I pulled over. The cop came up and asked me if there was any reason I was going 83 in a 65.

Any reason?

Any reason??

Any reason other than the fact that we'd left at 4pm on a Friday to drive 9+ hours to North Carolina to have "Christmas" with our dad?

"No. There was no reason. I'm sorry." I said.

He took my info and gave me a summons to appear in court. Anything over 80, he tells me, gets a summons. If I can not appear in court (which I can not) on the designated date then I must send in something and blah blah blah.

I then discovered the joy that is cruise control. Eat gas as it may it's a handy invention and when you let go of the wheel it's like you're not driving at all!! Anyone want to ride with Ms. McMurray? I thought not.

The best part of the story is that we forgot the summons in the car. The car that I returned yesterday to Jersey City. So now miss smarty pants speed demon has to go back to get it. What a dummy. What a large, stupid, dum dum dummy.

Other than that the trip went off without a hitch. Spent time with the family, drove through some sort of light extravaganza with sparkling houses and deer and golfers... hard to explain but pretty awesome and very Christmasy. Went to Old Salem and sampled their delicious pastries after driving to the top of Pilot Mountain. All in one day, believe it or not, and drove back home to good old NYC at 4:30am on Sunday.

Exhausted but still coherent I bartended for 5 hours with the promise that all tips would be donated to the Alzheimer's Association and we raised $200!! It was an awesome night but dammit if I wasn't a zombie when I hit the bed. Matt actually had to pull my shoes off me. I was that tired.

So, another ridiculous weekend complete I'm now back at work (at 10pm) writing this to pass the time so I can make up some time. My life is one consistent rush to tie up loose ends after another.

I'm off to Chicago this weekend for some shows and a Second City Workshop taught by Miss Skinner and myself. If you have friends out there why not send them the information below!

Hope you're having a great week.

Love,

Glennis

*********

I Eat Pandas comes to Chicago December 8th
Panda bears be warned - New York's favorite instant musical invades Chicago.

I Eat Pandas is not a carnivorous band of Panda-haters - they are a popular & critically acclaimed musical improv duo from New York City. On December 8th - 9th they'll bring their show to The Apollo Studio for only two performances.

I Eat Pandas is Glennis McMurray and Eliza Skinner - two NYC-based performers who create 3 spontaneous, sparkly musicals in under an hour. Using a large digital clock and unexplainable musical improv skills, they perform a 25 minute, 15 minute, and 5 minute musical all based on one audience suggestion. Since their first show 3 years ago at New York's Upright Citizens Brigade Theater they have played to sold-out houses and standing ovations all over the country. They were made a featured Critics Pick by Time Out NY's Jane Borden, who said,"You'll smile all the way home and sing their impromptu tunes in your sleep." The NY Daily News' Sean McCarthy went so far as to say "I Eat Pandas (is) the funniest improvised musical comedy duo either side of the Hudson." Alan Rosenberg of the Providence Journal wrote, "You can almost envision their work as being penned by some Off-Broadway luminary. Dilemma, humor, and resolution in a quarter of an hour-- all in time to music."

For the shows at the Apollo, I Eat Pandas will be accompanied by Mike Descoteaux of Second City. Opening the show will be a 15 minute stand-up set by Matt McCarthy. McCarthy is a regular on Comedynet.com and was recently featured in the Just For Laughs Festival's "New Faces" series.

Shows will be on Saturday December 8th at 10:30, Sunday December 9th at 6pm at the Apollo Studio Theater (2540 North Lincoln Avenue Chicago, IL 60614.) Tickets are $15 for adults, $10 for students. For tickets, please call (773) 935-6100.

Holi-Bangs!

I'm not one for holidays believe it or not. I love celebrations, I love gatherings, I love food… but holidays I could do without. Something about the pressure to make them wonderful or the pressure to be wonderful… it's all too much for me. Thanksgiving this year provided a good week or so of stress leading up to our departure from NY but thanks to the most amazing boyfriend ever (should I just rename this blog "I LOVE MATT"??) it was one of the most wonderful Thanksgivings ever!

It's funny. Because I remember distinctly writing about the best Christmas I'd had a few years ago. It was spent in Chicago. In a bar. How is that the best Christmas? No family around? No eggnog? And let's not try to blame this on me being Irish. That excuse wore out years ago, McMurray. Clearly that was my way of saying "it was the best Christmas because it wasn't."

This year I can say with all certainty that this was the best Thanksgiving I've had (aside from the ones back in good old Colorado) and it was. It was Thanksgiving, I mean. What a lovely family, what lovely food, baby Grace and Marty McFly the dog and everyone just doing their thing. It was WONDERFUL. I got to meet a ton of friends from the past at both Boozegiving (the name says it all) and Matt's reunion (at which about 30 people showed but it was fun all the same). I can't wait to go back for Christmas!

In addition to the food, the family and the sleeping in we watched a shitload of movies. Finally got around to seeing The Comedians of Comedy (and totally fell in love with Maria Bamford) and watched part of The Night of the Hunter (Robert Mitchum) before going into the kitchen for water only to be sucked into L&O: SVU with Matthew's mom. Seriously? Yes. Sorry, dudes. Anyway, the best discovery of this past week was one mister George Sanders. He starred in (and won an Academy Award for his performance in) All About Eve. If you haven't seen this movie, DO. It's awesome. After watching it, Matt and I casually looked Mr. Sanders up on IMDB and what we found was more than we'd ever expected. This man was AWESOME.


From his biography, "George Sanders: An Exhausted Life"

What a dude. Seriously you guys. He was married 4 times including a marriage to Zsa Zsa Gabore as well as to her sister Magda. Sure the marriages were separated by 16 years but it's still kinda crazy right? Also, he was an actor so you'd think he enjoyed it yes? Not so fast! He was quoted as saying "Acting is like roller-skating. Once you know how to do it, it is neither stimulating nor exciting." Ha! He also said, “I am not one of those people who would rather act than eat. Quite the reverse. My own desire as a boy was to retire. That ambition has never changed.” and “I don't ask questions. I just take their money and use it for things that really interest me.” Amazing! Other quotes I loved are, “The important thing for a star is to have an interesting face. He doesn't have to move it very much. Editing and camerawork can always produce the desired illusion that a performance is being given.” and "A woman, a dog and a walnut tree, the more you beat them, the better they be." Um. Kidding? We hope?

Another interesting thing about him? He is credited as the author of the mystery novel, "Stranger at Home” but the book was actually ghostwritten by Leigh Brackett. The book dedication reads, "To Leigh Brackett, whom I have never met".

Come on!!

But the best thing about this guy, the very very best thing is how he died. He killed himself. At the age of 66. But wait… wait… that’s not what’s great… the best thing is the suicide note he left!

AND I QUOTE, "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."

How much do you love this man!!? What a bastard! Haha!

So after knowing all this the only thing left to tell you is that he co-wrote a very popular song. I’ll give you three guesses but I doubt you’ll ever get it.

Give up?

George Sanders co-wrote I’M A LITTLE TEAPOT.

Are you KIDDING ME!?! It’s comedy gold. God I love it so much
I mean I’d never want to be his kid or wife or anything but you can guaratee I’ll be reading his biography.

And I guess this concludes the Thanksgiving edition of my life without having gone into too much mundane (but wonderful) detail. That stuff I’ma keep to myself :)

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving as well.

Love,

Glennis

Birthday Super-Eyes

I love surprises. LOVE them. However, I am hardly ever surprised because I always expect a surprise. On the other hand I guess you could say I'm surprised when I don't get a surprise after expecting one. Surprise pity party!

The best surprise I've pulled off was when Kelsey (the lil nutter) came to visit me for her 21st birthday. She didn't yet live in New York and didn't have any friends here but I wanted her to have an awesome birthday none the less. I devised a plan with my besties Marcy and Noni to fool her into thinking I was throwing a surprise party with the three of us at my apartment. I went all out (I think I even made a cake…which is a lot for me - I'm pretty sure it was disgusting) bought balloons, streamers, party hats…the whole nine. Kelsey showed up and with all the lights on we said "surprise" and sat down pretending that was it. I mean, a trip to NY and time with ME for your birthday… not bad. But your 21st? Takin it down to Lamestown, y'all. So after about an hour of cake eating (suffering) and gift opening I said "let's go downstairs to your first bar as a 21 year old (I mean ever)!" I lived over on 21st and 3rd and there are as many bars over there as there are douchebags to fill them up. So we headed down, Kelsey in her princess crown, to get in some of-age drinking. As we're walking down there street a limo is parked on the corner. I say to Kelsey, "how much will you give me if I jump in the back of that limo." She looks at me like I'm crazy and rolls her eyes. I say no no really how much! "Nothing! Don't do that!" she replies as she sees that mischievous glint in my eyes. I say "I'm gonna do it" and run over to the limo, hop in the back all the while Kelsey's standing there in her pretty little crown thinking I'm going to jail on her birthday. From inside I roll down the window and say "Happy Birthday Kelsey! This limo's for you!" She ran over, hopped inside and we drank for 3 straight hours while the driver circled Manhattan. Trips through Times Square meant screaming out the window "I'm famous!" and I'm pretty sure Kelsey had the best time ever.



Because I'm such a big fan of surprises I decided recently that I was going to throw Matthew a big one. I'd always wanted to do this in the past for certain people who shall not be named but those certain people wouldn't have enjoyed or appreciated it. So sit on it. Matthew is one of those people who is not only grateful for what you give him but enjoys every second of every minute of every day. I knew he'd love it.

His actual birthday was the 9th but because we went to his friend's cabin that weekend I had to wait until the following weekend.

The boy knew something was up. I am very bad at surprises when I'm afraid the person might become unavailable. And because he performs almost every night I feared he might be busy and the surprise would be sur-spoiled. While prepping for it I was talking to Liz online about how I wanted to make him a spidey cake (his fave superhero and mine) but that I knew I'd mess it up. In true bestie fashion Liz said "I'll do it. I love that stuff!" And proceeded to make the most amazing Spider Man cake maybe of all time? Can I say that having never had any other Spidey cakes? I think I can.

I told everyone to show up at 9pm but a few people arrived earlier to help me out. We got some booze, some mixers, some snacks and they hung some streamers. Everyone was in the house by 9:30 - the time Matt was scheduled to arrive. I told him some story about having plans with me and to wear a nice button-down (to throw him off the trail!) and said to meet me at my house.

Everyone's standing around chatting and suddenly the buzzer! And then the most hilarious 2 minutes took place. Everyone running back to my room, some staying in the kitchen, everyone screaming "what do we do!? What do we do!!? LIGHTS OFF OR ON!!?!? AHHHH!!!" while I screamed "Shh!! Shhh!!! ShhhhUT UP!!!" and buzzed him in.

He walked into a dark apartment slowly as I hid in the kitchen. When he got close to the door to the kitchen we FLIPPED ON THE LIGHTS AND SCREAMED "SURPRISE!!!!"

I thought the boy was going to have a heart attack. He must have jumped back two feet, his face turned bright red and he was in a daze for about 5 minutes after, all the while grinning from ear to ear. The rest of the night we partied down like it was going out of style, Matt inHALED Liz's cake ("Best. Cake. EVER!!") and fun times were had by all.

My favorite part aside from the surprise was the trick candles. But that's just because I'm a little stinker.





And thus concludes the two best surprises I've (kinda, sorta) pulled off. I'm pretty sure Matty knew what was going on but was a saint for playing along and putting on that nice button-down.

Who's next on Glennis' surprise road trip across life?? (ew) Maybe you?! Or you!? Or even, yes... even you.

Who knows.

Who knows.

Only time will tell.

I'm going to get oatmeal.

Have a great day. :)

Love,

Glennis

Doh! Show!

I almost forgot, you guys! I have a show tonight! A very special show! Shootin' The Shizz With Molly McFizz is back in your faces at UCB. Yes, I am doing it IN YOUR FACES. Whoa!

Here is the postcard and, consequentially, all the information. I hope you can make it! I love this show! It's fun and I play a 6-year-old.



Love,

Glennis

It's The First Step

If you ever hear me complain about money please smack the right side of my face ever so gently (that's my bad side - don't touch the left that's m'moneymaker) because as I speak there is a mountain of clothing sitting in my room awaiting laundering. Scratch that. Make it 3 mountains. A full range of mountains composed of shirts, undies, sexy doo dads and assorted capes and I reason myself out of taking the clothing to a professional to have them cleaned because it costs too much. And washing them myself is completely out of the question since I have very little free time on my hands and who wants to spend that time washing clothes?? It takes a good 2.5 - 3 hours to launder duds! Time that could be spent navigating the Gap Trail in my room! So what do I do? I shop. I buy something new for work the next day or something for an audition when I have 12-13 perfectly good options buried at the bottom of my laundry bag.

Now that's what I call lazy!

Liz was the one who dubbed my mess Clothes Mountain. Many a laugh was had speaking in our old prospector voices warning hikers of the dangers of "stocking pass" and "v-neck gulch." (Seriously I do a great old prospector voice. Ask me about it. I mean I won't do it for you but I'll confirm that the information I've just provided you with is true.)

So I'm taking the first step to fixing this problem: I'm admitting it. Yes. I admit I have a problem with keeping my life in order and more specifically my clothing. I admit I have clothes that I haven't touched in a good 5 years but hold on to "just in case I do another show where I need a petticoat." I admit that clothes mountain sometimes scares me in the middle of the night when I look over and think it's a little person version of jaba the hut.

If admitting it is the first step then perhaps then next obvious step is to believe that a power greater than me will restore me to sanity. (This AA stuff really works on everything guys. I'm just saying.) I guess in this case the power greater than me is Christopher Wash & Fold. I believe in you guys and your powerful starching ways.

So now I must make the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of them as I understand them. Now this part could get a little tricky because I'm not sure I can turn my will AND my life over there. Sure, they can have control over my life…but my will? What if they decide it's time for me to die? Imagine the death that would come for me! Dried to death! Steam cleaned to oblivion! This is sounding more and more risky as it goes on!

I think next I need to list the people I've wronged or offended. So that's pretty much anyone who's ever been in my room. We'll start with Matt because he's dealt the brunt of the filth. Liz is the obvious next choice and then, going alphabetically: Amanda, Eliza, Erin, Giulia, Jeff H., Jeff K., Jeff M., Jen, John, Kate, Katina, Margot, Shelly, Sue, Wendy… just to name a few. Sorry you guys. I'm sorry my clothing hurt or offended you.

Ug this is exhausting. I'm tired of making this list. I'd rather be doing anything but this right now. ANYTHING. Even…

(streaming light through clouds, angelic singing)

LAUNDRY!

I've done it! I've broken the chain! I know how to quit drinking! I mean… do my laundry. Yeeaaah that's the ticket.

Thanks so much for your help Glennis. I don't know what I'd do without you and this personal intervention. You really do care about me sometimes even if you continue to go outside in that awful poncho.

12 steps, shmelve steps.

Have a great day.

Love,

Glennis

PS - Is it obvious I really did grow tire of this post 1/2-way through? LAZY TO THE BONE.

Cracka' Dawn

Who woke up at 6am and went to the gym!?! Wait, no wait… back it up mofos! Who ironed her clothes last night, laid them out, went to bed at a semi-decent hour (even if I couldn't get to sleep for a while) and THEN woke up at 6am!? This gal! Right here! That's me!

And I feel amazing.

The acupuncture the other day got me thinking about how happy I used to be. 6 or so years ago when I was living in Brooklyn with my ex-fiance (fiance… imagine?), 22 years old, worked in an office (actually this office… good god), did some improv and got up every goddamn morning to work out. I lugged a backpack the size of that little Chris Farley girl in the email 400 people have forwarded me every_single_morning. Sometimes I'd go 6 days a week. Sometimes 7. It might have become a tiny bit of an obsession but I lost nearly 50 lbs and I felt amazing. I had more confidence and, had I been having sex, I'm sure it would have been amazing. Heyooo.

I also took a vitamin this morning. I know. Call the crash cart cuz I think you just had a heart attack.

None of this might sound like cause for celebration except for the fact that I'm a) very lazy and b) really super lazy. Some people's natural inclination is to go out and hike. Run around. Play soccer. I like watching TV and stuffing my face with fried goods. I used be able to eat a whole pizza. Alone. ALONE. That is gross. (And sad.) So getting up and getting motivated is hard for me which sounds crazy since I have a million things going on at any given moment… I think that's due to a fear of being left behind rather than get-up-and-go.

So yes. I am proud of myself for getting up this morning. And you should be proud of me, too. Specifically if you have to hear me whine about being tired on gchat, the phone, via email or in person. Lazy & whiny. And I'm still not married?! What!?

Hope you're all kicking ass today too.

Love,

Glennis

Hardcore Mick

I knew I was Irish but today I confirmed just how Irish I am.

You guys know how much I hate my office, yes? You know how much anger, frustration, depression and outright poopiness they have caused me, right? Today (after hand-addressing each envelope...by hand. With my hands. BY. HAND.) I sent out the holiday party invites. As one of the nicer people in the office came to compliment me on my penmanship (and crippled little limbs) she asked if I was going to the party. I laughed involuntarily right in her face. It was like a sneeze. The thought of me attending a party with a bunch of people I hate for a company I could care less about really just got my goat!

And then she said three little words that could possibly change my life forever.

MASHED POTATO BAR

Um...

Maybe you didn't hear me. I SAID MASHED POTATO BAR. MOTHER. FUCKERS. CAN YA DIG!?

That coupled with Free Booze are the only two things that will get me to that party. Bona Fide Irish.

I mean... I know. It's a terrible idea. I will get drunk and I will be friendly with people. And they will talk to me... and look me in the eyes. And I will get my hopes up that these are decent, kind people and it's not just the alcohol talking, and then I will go to work the next day and it will all be the same. Condescending little cunts.

So in summation I'd like to say: Remember when the company didn't have enough money to give me more than a 3% raise? Remember when that happened the last oh.. what was it... 5 years? Well, consider my raise mashed, y'all.

Oh man I love stupid companies with lots of money.

Bling bling!

I need to stop typing. I have made my point.

Have a good night.

Love,

Glennis

On Pins & Needles

Anticipation. Excitement. Dread. Fear. Worry. Regret. Pain. Anger. Tears. Relief. Exhaustion.

Yesterday I went to get acupuncture for the first time ever. My dearie dearest sweet pal Becky swears by it and after Eliza went, loved it, told me they asked questions about crazy dreams and said "you must go!" I went! I'm very easily convinced of things. Just ask anyone who knew me when I lived in Bangkok.

But here's the thing, guys. It was one of those situations where I was like "awesome! I'm totally going to do this!" and then I got there and I was like "oh my god I'm going to do this." Which is pretty much how I think I'd handle most situations that require you to think a thing through before committing to it. God forbid I'm ever given a sky diving lesson as a present. How late is too late to back out of something like that? Mid-flight?

So I'm sitting in the office filling out the extensive questionnaire and I'm fine. The doctor is sweet and gentle and quiet and I immediately like her. I go in the room and we sit and talk. And suddenly something hits me. I don't know what it was exactly but it must have been related to the fact that she was asking me questions about myself. Questions that only I would know the answer to. Stuff that I'd have to have paid close attention to my body to know. And some stuff I just had never thought of. And I started to get really sad. But as is the Glennis fashion I pretended like everything was fine, put on a smile, pretended not to be nervous as hell as to how I was going to react to having tiny needles thrust into my skin… I pretend a lot. It's not good. We know this. We're trying to stop this, I swear.

So I'm smiling. She asks me if I'm nervous and blurt out "YES!" (See? I'm trying.) Showing weakness is hard for me. I might as well be a goddamn Stepford Wife. (I'm very attracted to the role of Bree on Desperate Housewives… and I hate myself for that. I'm kidding. Kinda.)

Anyway.

She says it's perfectly normal that I'm feeling nervous and, with my shoes & socks off, pants rolled up and tiniest bit of stomach exposed, she gets to work. The first pin goes into my right leg. Nothing too painful. She's asking me how I'm feeling the whole time and telling me that the spots on my achilles tendon are good for sleep (...the whole reason I went. Did I fail to mention that? Sleep and stress.) And when she puts a needle in below my knee somewhere on my leg and a pain shoots down my leg into my middle toe and I react and she says "Good. That's a good sign. That area is for stress." Two in each arm near the wrist. Two in my head where my unicorn horn might be. One sat right smack dab in the middle of my cleavage, and one in my stomach. And there I lay. A human pin cushion who had not thought the depth and the seriousness of acupuncture through and who was now a tiny bit freaked out.

The doctor told me she was going to leave the room for about 20 minutes. She turned out the light after checking that I was ok one last time, and closed the door.

And I started crying. I couldn't stop it. Just like I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks and filling up my ears. I started freaking out about crying. What was I crying about? Was it from the needles? My mind started racing. Of course. I couldn't just lie there crying and let it happen. I had to be in control of this!! I had to stop this!! Tears are a sign of weakness! I couldn't wipe my eyes because of the needles in my arms and I was miserable. A few minutes later the doctor opened the door and asked if I was ok. I cheerily said (practically shouted) "YES! FINE!!" and she was on to me, people! I mean of course she was. She said "it seems like you're wide awake and alert. Are you ok?" I told her I was having trouble relaxing. I was freaking out a little feeling so raw and emotional and yes, I told her I started crying. She gently came in and reassured me that I should let it all out. She put two needles in each ear to calm my mind, touched my arm and asked me if I was ok, and left the room again.

And the tears started again. This time even worse and this time I started freaking out because I wondered what would happen if the tears got into the needle holes! Oh good god! Not that!!! Not SALT WATER!!! GOD NOOOOOOO!!!!

And then I started laughing. Just a little bit. Because, come on guys, I'm ridiculous. I would worry about breathing if it didn't happen naturally!! I'm surprised I haven't, quite honestly! Why haven't I laid awake nights worrying I might stop breathing!? I mean I really am crazy. It's a miracle Matt doesn't want to push me down stairs the way I fret about this and that. He's amazing. Supportive. Wonderful. So patient.

But I'm getting off subject. I finally did relax and stopped crying toward the end of my 20 minutes of peace. And she came in, took the needles out, told me I could sit up and gave me a tissue. I cried a little bit more about how amazing an experience that was and I saw her get a little teary too. I don't know why but that really made me feel better.

I walked out of the office feeling calm, peaceful, relaxed, the most I'd felt that way in years. I made a vow to stick to the stuff we had spoken about and looked forward to our appointment on Monday.

Eliza had said the relaxed feeling could last up to a week and I think it might have but I went to therapy a few hours after and kind of snapped back to reality, unfortunately. Not unfortunately because it was a good session… but that relaxed feeling really was something I hadn't felt in a long time. I'm excited for the next time.

In other "pins & needles" news… we had the screening for the Electric Company last night. Party screening part wrap party. I was so nervous/excited/stressed to see the pilot but honestly it was SO amazing! It looked wonderful, everyone is fantastic in it and, if I do say so myself, I think we've got a hit on our hands. We look cool but not like we're trying to be cool and dudes… Shockwave is the best part of it. Kids are going to want to BE HIM. So wonderful!! It was also just great hanging out with the people who worked on it. Meeting the people who edited it and worked after all the shooting was wrapped. It's such an amazing group of people… equal parts fun, business and all talent. Can't wait till we start shooting again!!!

And I guess on that note I've got to get back to another pin… erm pen. I'm at work. Sigh.

Have a great day!!!

Love,

Glennis

Through with You!

Oh New York. I love you! I really really love you more than any other living place in the world! Well, that I've been anyway. Which is not a lot. But lately, New York. Lately! You have been wearing my little body down! Mostly it's your transportation. For instance, New York, why come no cabbies here know how to get to my house in the Willage? Is it because I say Willage? I'll stop.

Don't interrupt me, NEW YORK! Dammit. Listen, I'm not breaking up with you. I just think we need a break.

(I just realized I'm turning this post into a "NY is my boyfriend and we're taking a break" post and that's probably been done a million times but please...bear with me here. I'm tired and cranky and STILL COUGHING)

So remember the other night when I did a show at UCB and I was sick and tired and could barely talk let alone sing and all I wanted to do was go home and it was 11pm and you got me that taxi to go home? And then remember when I looked down to call someone on my phone and the taxi was passing 9th Avenue and going to the WEST SIDE HIGHWAY? Do you remember that? No!? No!? I bet you'd remember if I had my TITS HANGING OUT.

Sorry. I didn't mean to yell.

It's just...well why would he take the West Side Highway?? Like that makes no sense since you have to go back in on 14th Street and take Washingtown down and all I'm saying is there was construction and the dude should have known, once we hit construction once, not to go back IN THE SAME DIRECTION.

So yeah. I spent $11 on a cab that dropped me off 9 blocks from my house. NYC blocks.

New York!! Why would you do that to me!?

And then why would you make me stand on the platform for 20 minutes this morning waiting for a train making me late when I'd left my house with plenty of time to get to where I was goin!? Why?

Do you see what I'm getting at?

We need a break.

So listen....

I'm gonna see another state this weekend.

It won't mean anything.

I'm mean I'll probably go down on it but you don't like that anyway.

Wait, that's weird. Why don't you like that?

Most states really...

No.

No. I'm not even going to go there.

I'll talk to you when I get back.

I still love you.

Love,

Glennis

Muci-next!

I just took Mucinex because I'm hacking up a lung and I feel like my nostrils are CAVERNOUS!! SERIOUSLY. This is freaking me out!! I have so much air passing through my nostrols I could definitely fit at least 3 Jimmy Deans up there!

Is this stuff making me high?!?

Oh wait, I just addressed 400 envelopes by hand with a silver sharpie. I literally just realized that.

Love,

Glennis

On the Radio. Ooh woaaooooh. On the Radio.

I know there are people out there who get insulted if they're included in something just because they are dating someone or friends with someone. Well folks, that ain't me! I'm like the Kathy Griffin of way-way-way underground comics who no one's ever heard of outside my small comic bubble in NY. I'LL TAKE ANY JOB. Even if it doesn't pay. A job is a job is a job. I'll suck di… ok wait… I won't take any job.

But honestly I'm just as flattered to get a job because the director saw me in something and sought me out as a job that my boyfriend got me because I'm his special lady and he knows he'll get some good hea… JESUS. Sorry. This is making me sound really whorish.

So last night Becky and I did the Maxim Sirius Radio show and it was AWESOME. Becky was recommended to them by her friend Adira and was told she could bring someone along and she chose ME! I was beyond flattered because I think Becky is one of the most talented ladies I know. One of those people who thinks outside the box and always makes me laugh. Just love her.

We talked for an hour on the show about dicks and dudes and what not to say on the first date and how long you wait to have sex with someone (coupla hours, amirite?) and it was SO fun. Talked to a few callers or really just kind of talked about what they were calling in about. The time flew, Becky drank some v2 vodka and I had the biggest tea known to man and coughed during the commercial breaks.

This all made me want to get a job in radio! I loved sitting in the studio bantering with the hosts (DeVore and Diana are AWESOME hosts. Adorable and talented and hilarious!!) and listening to callers and oh man I loved it! Get me a job in radio, please!

Here's a picture from our adventures. Adorable little spitfires aren't we?



Oh! And right before us in the studio was Lisa Lampinelli! I mean, I don't want to be all technical and shit but technically she opened for us. I'm just saying.

I hope we can get a copy of the show and post it as some point. Yama's boyfriend heard it and said it was funny. But he might have said that because he wanted B to touch his D.

Have a great day!!

Love,

Glennis

Siriusly, Guys!

Hey guys!

Guess what? You can listen for me and the amazing talent Becky Yamamoto on the radio tonight! We'll be appearing at 10pm on Maxim Sirius Radio on the DeVore & Diana show as part of the theme of the week: Funny Females! Hey now! Look at that! Not too shabby! Hoo-Hooooooo!!

Hope I don't a) go into a coughing fit and have to leave the studio, b) freak out that I'm on the radio and start over-enunciating everything or c) fart. Wait no I hope I do fart. That would be hilars. Especially with Yamamama in the room. Girl loves talkin 'bout farts.

Here's what the Sirius site says about the hosts:

DeVore and Diana
Eighty proof radio for men who love women, and the women who put up with their crap. Join former Maxim magazine Senior Writer John DeVore and the first lady of Maxim Radio, Diana Falzone, Monday through Friday, 7 pm to 11 pm ET. John loves calling bull@#! on stuck up bastards, and Diana's a multi-talented hottie with an angel's voice and a dirty twinkle in her eye. Crack a beer, bring an opinion, and hang with these two every night as they fight, laugh, make-up, and talk from the gut about sex, relationships, pop culture, and the weirdest, most disturbing news of the day.

YES PLEASE!!

"See" you tonight!

Love,

Glennis

The Next Stop is the Eastsiiiiide Mote-e-e-e-l

Fucking LOVE THIS SONG. Listened to it the other night with my homies and it was like blast from the past and now I have this fantasy that every time I'm with my peeps and I yell out "REGULATORS!" they'll answer with "MOUNT UP!"

I don't ask for much. But I know I love you. Wait, I'm mixing my songs.

Sit back, roll a fatty and remember the good old days. Wuuuurd.

REGULATOR by WARREN G

G:
Regulators
we regulate any stealing of his property
and we're damn good too
But you can't be any geek off the street,
gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your keep!
REGULATORS!!! MOUNT UP!

G:
It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
Warren G was on the streets, trying to consume
some skirts for the eve, so I can get some funk
just rollin in my ride, chillin all alone

Nate:
Just hit the Eastside of the LBC
on a mission trying to find Mr. Warren G.
Seen a car full of girls ain't no need to tweak
all you skirts know what's up with 213

G:
So I hooks a left on the 21 and Lewis
some brothas shootin dice so I said "Let's do this"
I jumped out the ride, and said "What's up?"
some brothas pulled some gats so I said "I'm stuck."

Nate:
Since these girls peepin me I'ma glide and swerve
these hookers lookin so hard they straight hit the curb
Won'tcha think of better things than some horny tricks
I see my homey had some suckas all in his mix

G:
I'm gettin jacked, I'm breakin myself
I can't believe they taking Warren's wealth
they took my rings, they took my rolex
I looked at the brotha said "Damn, what's next?"

Nate:
They got my homey hemmed up and they all around
ain't none of them seeing if they going straight pound for pound
They wanna come up real quick before they start to clown
I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down

G:
They got guns to my head
I think I'm going down
I can't believe this happenin in my own town
If I had wings I would fly
let me contemplate
I glanced in the cut and I see my homey Nate

Nate:
Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole
Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold
now they droppin and yellin
it's a tad bit late
Nate Dogg and Warren G had to regulate

I laid all them busters down
I let my gat explode
now I'm switching my mind back into freak mode
if you want skirts sit back and observe
I just left a gang of those over there on the curb

G:
Now Nate got the freaks
and that's a known fact
before I got jacked I was on the same track
back up back up cause it's on
N A T E and me
the Warren to the G

Nate:
Just like I thought
they were in the same spot
in need of some desperate help
the Nate Dogg and the G-child
were in need of something else
one of them dames was sexy as hell
I said "ooo I like your size."
she said "my car's broke down and you seem real nice,
would ya let me ride?"
I got a car full of girls and it's going real swell
the next stop is the Eastside Motel

G:
I'm tweaking
into a whole new era
G-Funk
step to this
I dare ya
Funk
on a whole new level

Nate:
the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble

G:
Chords
Strings
We brings
Melody
G-Funk
where rhythm is life
and life is rhythm

Nate:
If you know I´ll got know
you don't wanna step to this
It's the G-Funk era
funked out with a gangsta twist
if you smoke like I smoke
then you high like everyday
and if your ass is a buster
213 will regulate

Mount up, homies. Mount up.

Love,

Glennis

Bronchsma

Well, it's official. I went to the doctor today and I have bronchitis. So anyone who's seen me sing within the past two days and left with feeling that I am indeed the most amazing performer you've ever seen, you should now find yourself doubly impressed! I had bronchitis!

Doc listened to my lungs. A lot. Got me worried. He kept having me breath in, blow out, breath in, blow out and then say "EEEEEEEE" over and over (hey that's how I sound during sex!) and all I could think was "oh my god. I have lung cancer." Why would I think such a thing. Clearly I'm insane. Haven't we realized that?

After telling me it sounds like I have asthmatic lungs (!!!) he sends me upstairs to blow into this tube to measure the force behind my breath. It's more fun blowing out candles, I tell him, but he insists I blow into a plastic tube. Whatever party pooper. So I do. And it sucks (blows) and it's hard cuz I CAN'T BREATH but the doctor looks at my results and says I don't have asthma. Phew!

How many times can I be sick in one year, you guys!!?! And my boss has no sympathy for me at all. Not an inch, not a smidge even though I'm sitting here hacking up a lung and I look like death.

Whatever!! I've got my z-pack and my musinex and you can eat a bag of snot, creep!! I hope this whole office gets Bronchitis.

Speaking of... my office is having a client appreciation party today and we spent $5,000 on flowers. Last year I got a 3% raise. EAT ME HARD, OFFICE.

Love,

Glennis

A Little Sympathy for the Struggling Actor

Things have been a little rough over at the old 9-5 lately. Accusations, Disney figurines, tears, and threatened quitting and yet I'm still sitting here at 8:30 in the morning on a Thursday which is technically my Friday which leads me right back to why I'm still here.

I am that rare NY actress who's had the same boring desk job for 6 year. SIX YEARS PEOPLE. That's a lot of hours clocked in perfecting this pancake of an ass I have. (Haven't noticed? Check it out next time you see me. I don't mind!) The reason I've had this job so long is because of my golden handcuffs. I work 30 hrs a week in 3 days, have a 4 day weekend, receive benefits and vacation days and can leave for auditions. It's a sweet deal!! I appreciate that deal! I really do! What I don’t appreciate is everything that comes with it.

How do you explain to someone who lives and breaths for this company that you're trying your best? That you have an entire other office of people who expect you to be places when they tell you to be there. To make them money. To book that job or at least show up to audition for that job. And I love auditioning. I love booking jobs. I love it! But I hate the process of auditioning while trying to hold down a day job. I blame my shingles and the fact that I now have bronchitis on the damn stress of it all! Leaving the office with just enough time to make it to your audition on time (assuming the trains run on schedule) while not leaving too early so as not to be away from the office too long. Arriving for your audition most often to find a room full of people waiting to go in as well. How long has everyone been waiting?? You sign in, sit down, read your copy while paying attention to how long each person is spending in the room. 10 minutes average time 5 people… shit! And that's before I even audition and head back to the office! Check the time again. HOW CAN 20 MINUTES HAVE GONE BY SINCE I GOT HERE AND I'M NO CLOSER!?! Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit. Come on! Fucking hurry up!!! What the fuck is taking so long!?! Jesus christ ok calm down. Read your copy again. Wait… there's nothing to read…it's all an explanation of a scenario of how crazy it is when friends hang out and eat chips together. FUCK! Ok shit ok 3 more people in front of me. Maybe I should just leave. I don't really NEED this audition. I probably won't even get this job. What's the point. I never get any of these jobs! Shit… no that's exactly why I don't. Relax. Think positively. Oh my god why the fuck has this dumb bitch been in that room for 12 minutes?! Is she blowing the casting director!!? Come on!!! Ok… she's out. Doesn't smell like a BJ. I'll let her off. "See you later, Gertrude! Great to see you!" Slut. Fucking slut probably blew the CD to get the job. Ok my turn is coming up. Get your size card. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SIZE CARD. Oh my god I hate filling this shit out. Same shit every audition. My name! They called my name! Sweet salvation I'm going in!! Tell others of my story!! Ok I'm in the room. Let's get this shit done. Yes. Yes, I realize I'm hanging out with my friends eating chips. I've done that before. I get it. Yes. I know how to look confused. Jesus christ do you want to audition for this commercial? I mean why don't I get behind the camera and YOU can audition since clearly you're dying for this part since you've explained it to me 14 times already! OMG COME ON!!! Just let me do it please! PLEASE!!! Oh fuck this shit. Fuck it all. And I'm sure the inner monologue that's going through my head the entire time I'm in the room is clear upon my face. Which probably hinders my ability to honestly look like I'm hanging with friends eating chips. Which in turn makes the client go "NEXT" when seeing my audition. Which in turn makes me want to put a gun to my head because if I can't be relaxed when I'm auditioning then what is the point? AMIRITE PEOPLE!?!

So if it's so stressful and you hate it so much why not quit? Well it's all a part of the process. We audition for commercials for practice, for the money, and for every one in a million people who get a truly funny national commercial, a little bit of recognition. (Or a sitcom spin off…whatevs.) It's not easy and yet it's the easiest thing in the world.

But try explaining all this to a woman yelling at you about being gone from the office and taking advantage of this cushy situation they've set up for you. Maybe I do push the envelope here. Maybe I'm not the best worker in the world. Maybe I do have other things on my mind. But I'm trying to stay afloat here people. I'm trying to get two jobs done without anyone noticing that I'm freaking out about how to balance the rest of the shows, people and family issues in my life.

That being said… let's face it. I don't have much to complain about. I have a really good life and I try to appreciate it as much as I can. Matt is great at helping me calm down and try to be in the moment. He's one of those "whatever happens, happens" people. Like The Dude. And he hates The freakin Eagles, man. So I can learn a lot from him.

I moved to NY with $500 and 5 suitcases and 10 years later I'm still here. If that doesn't teach me that everything turns out ok in the end then I don't know what will.

Stop whining, McMurray. You have an audition in half an hour.

Love,

Glennis

(Ew was that the most self-indulgent blog post ever? Yeah like you have anything better to do between YOUR auditions than read my blog while you sit at your shitty office job. Please. I know my demographic!!)

(PS - If anyone out there has experience in PR let me know. I wanna pick your brain. I'll make it worth your time. You get to hang out with MEEEEE!!! I am AWESOME!!!! AND I SMELL LIKE SUGAR!!! Email me.)

Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear?

First of all, let me just point your sweet little eyes in the direction of this:



That's yours truly and the love of my life. In a Glamour Magazine spread! Check it out here!

You guys, I never ever thought I'd be this happy. I know, I know... leave the cheese on the pages of Glam, but seriously... well I'm just really really happy. That's all. I LOVE YOU MR. MATT MCCARTHY!

And to top it all off I've been working! Acting work! I'm still at my lamo law firm job (I mean I love this job so much) but lately I've been working on shooting the pilot for the new Electric Company! Heeeeey Yooooou Guuuuuuuys! It's been pretty amazing and awesome and we haven't even started shooting yet. (Lots of rehearsals and some costume fittings and other things of that nature.)

So... Yippee!! Love! Jobs! No money in the bank but who the eff cares!!

Life is good, you know? (That makes me think of miss Ann Carr... you know?) I mean I sat down at my desk today after being out with EC for about a week and started to get depressed. But really what is there to be depressed about? Even if I was to have to sit here for the rest of my life it would be ok right? Because I'd make it ok! I mean I'm totally going to work my ass off so that DOESN'T happen but... well life is good.

Oh! Before I forget I am raising money for my dad for the Alzheimer's Walk on October 21st! If you want to donate you can go here and do so. And I will be a [Your Name]-bian forever.

I hope you are all doing well.

Love,

Glennis

My Dirty Mouth

Hey guys!

I shot this a while ago for Hungry Man Productions and I still haven't watched it (since it's NSFW and my internet at home SUCKS) but I've been told it's really funny! The amazingly talented Alex Kuciw directed it and I think wrote it and wow is that guy talented! (I really mean that but he told me I had to talk him up and boost his ego on my blog. Oooooh... yaburnt, Alex!)

I had to wear this cool camera head-piece thing and it made me think of scenes from Requiem for a Dream. Bukaki Party! Omg I am so totally kidding.

So anyway, here's how you can watch it:

Go to the www.hungrymantv.com and either A) click on the static TV, B) click on the TV dials, or C) click on the words ‘hmTV’ at the top. Any of these options brings up the channel guide that shows what shows are available.

Then click on the arrow on the right side of the guide to scroll over to 'Channel 04 - Mouthpieces’ and watch the episode called "Password."

Hope you enjoy it!

Love,

Glennis

Private Dancer

I was standing outside the Fitzpatrick with Ms. Faverty the other night (was having congratulatory drinks with co-workers...more on that in a bit) when we were approached by a man. He's short, Hispanic, kind of has that Miami spiked hair look and he says to us, "can I ask you ladies a question?" Does he want a smoke? Does he want directions? No. No he does not.

"I am supposed to dance for some girls tonight and I was just wondering if you thought these were sexy."

At that point he pulls up the side of his shirt and reveals a black thong. I kind of giggle a little bit, Carrie too, and we both say, "yeah. that's fine." So he then goes off on this whole thing about how he just moved here from Miami (I was right!) and how he is trying to make money and that if we knew of anyone who needed a DANCER (seriously... a dancer?) that we should tell him and THEN. THEN. Then he turns around and lifts up the back of his shirt to reveal even more of his thong to us and says, "so you think this is ok?" and I just lose it and start laughing and actually shock him with how hard I'm laughing and I say, "yes. yes. THAT WILL DO." And he kind of looks at us with this weird look and then says, "well ok. so... I mean do you girls want my number just...in case?"

Just in case? Just in case we need a male dancer?

I mean of all the jobs you could do in NY the one that seems the least in demand is male dancer. Right after million-dollar high five machine and herpes distributor.

So... I mean this guy was clearly prepositioning us for sex, right?

I thought so too!!

Anyway, it was one of the weirdest things that's happened to me in a while so it sparked my old, dusty brain to want to blog again.

Ehn, I changed my mind on elaborating for now. In due time my pretties.

Now I must sleep! I spent all day rearranging my room! IT'S AWESOME!

Love,

Glennis

Self Promoting

Hey guys!

I'm a terrible blogger lately. Anyone even still reading this old thing?

If so and you love comedy you should come check out my show tonight!

Shootin the Shizz with Molly McFizz
Tonight @ 7pm
UCB Theatre
307 West 26th Street @ 8th Avenue

Also, if you watch TV be on the look out for my Stop n' Shop commercial in which I sound like Kathleen Turner and look like a box of Wheat Thins! It's a voice over. Get it?

I also have a Toyota Radio spot somewhere out there in the world.

This has been shameless self promotions by Glennis Forester McMurray.

Love,

Glennis

Shootin' The Shizz with Molly McFizz!

Hey everyone! You should come see my brand new show tomorrow night!

Shootin' the Shizz... is a brand new talk show featuring 6-year-old host Molly McFizz interviewing some of New York's top comedians! This week our guests are the amazing Matt McCarthy and the adorable Becky Yamamoto! And, as always, the sassy, lactose intolerant, Golden Girls obsessed Aunt Colleen!

Wednesday, August 8th, 7pm
UCB Theatre
307 West 26th Street @ 8th Avenue
$5.00



See you there!!

Love,

Glennis

Want to Party?!?

Hey guys and gals!

Wanna be an extra in a teaser for a pilot my comedy-lovah Eliza and I are putting together?

OF COURSE YOU DO!!

We need you hot, trendy young things (or people who look like us) to come to Planet Rose Karaoke (14th Street and Avenue A) at 11:00am on Sunday, August 5th to be extras in our club scenes. You'll need to wear something that looks like you're at a club (button-down or dress) and you'll need to be there for as long as possible, we're gonna try to wrap by 5pm. We'll give you beer! And pizza! WHAT!!? AND you get to hang out with us and be in our show?!? Jesus christ call the fun police.

Hope you can make it. I just made this sound really exciting!

Love,

Glennis
(and Eliza)