Comic BANS

(Inspired by Carolyn's post)

Comic Sans font you are the thorn in my side! You are the burn on my toast! You are the chip in my soft pallet! You truly are the font of death.

Here's something you should know about writing a letter of importance to people with, oh I don't know, information about your father's health and his finances: maybe don't write it in a font that is classified as casual, non-connecting script that is for casual (are we seeing a connection here?) use in informal documents. Listen, I know you're trying to be all friendly with our communication but it's goddamn hard to read something important when this is performing surgery on my eye sockets!



And the capital letters! Don't even get me started on the allcaps!

There is nothing in this blessed world that should be written in comic sans except the very things it was named for: COMIC BOOKS.

And I'm not alone in my hatred of comic sans! From wikipedia:

Comic Sans has become the subject of a campaign by some designers to limit or eliminate its use, on the grounds that (as typographic purists claim) it is poorly designed and that its inclusion in the Microsoft system fonts package lends itself to inappropriate use—for example, as a text face in documents or at large sizes in signage.

There is even a website trying to put an end to the madness! Their tag line, bless their punny little hearts is, "putting the sans in comic sans." I love two-fold. (I mean I'm not gonna sign their petition because, you know, I'm not a woman of action [or character] but it suits me just fine if you'd like to. Let's not get me started on my irrational fear of someone, someday, drudging up every keystroke I've ever made on the internet for public display and ridicule. The amount of time I spend reading about Siegfried & Roy is shame enough thank you very much.)

I often allow other people to express my feelings for me so I don't perform dirty sexual acts on your minds with my lack of grammar and literary skills so here, read this:

We believe in the sanctity of typography and that the traditions and established standards of this craft should be upheld throughout all time. From Gutenberg's letterpress to the digital age, type in all forms is sacred and indispensable. Type is a voice; its very qualities and characteristics communicate to readers a meaning beyond mere syntax.

And it's true! Comic Sans is fucking offensive. It's like saying the word CUNT. No one wants that (except maybe me and Matt at the top of our lungs while driving a car) especially not around grandma. That's what comic sans is like to me. Saying cunt in front of mawmaw. AND SHE'S DEAD YOU GUYS. DOUBLE OFFENSE.

Honestly when I read letters in that font, specifically in allcaps, I read it as if a child is screaming at me. It hurts my lady parts, guys. It really does.

In summation, I'm not asking for the complete and total ban of this font. It has its uses (Like if your child is really mad and wants to write a letter to someone? Have at it!) just please, I beg of you, keep it far away from mine eyes.



Love,

Glennis

PS - Did anyone see that documentary on Helvetica? Just interested because I thought it looked pretty Hel-lish. Get it. Hel..ish..