Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A Month Of Blank

Hey guys.

So...I've thought about it. Long and hard. (That's what she said.) What will my "Month Of..." be? I've had suggestions from many people which included:

- Month of Walking to Work
- Month of Flannel (it is my color)
- Month of Silence (not possible)
- Month of No Email (yeah that would drive me insane.)
- Month of New Movie Every Day

And while these all sound fun, awesome, amazing and... maybe a little weird, I think I know what I'm going to do.

OH GOD. This is going to be hard, y'all.


Jesus my stomach gets upset just thinking about this. Because, you see, I love buying things!

This will be difficult in the following capacities:

I mean sometimes the only thing that gets me up in the morning is knowing I can go to Starbucks/DunkinD/Mud to get a $4/$3/$2 cup of Joe. It's not even the coffee so much as the act of buying it. I fucking LOVE buying coffee. I love walking into the store (up to the Mud truck) and smelling the sweet, sweet beans calling out to my taste buds. I love ordering my special drink that only I get and they're gonna make especially for me. I love the warmth from the cup and adding my milk/splenda until it's juuust right. I love walking around/riding the subway with my cup. Slowly sipping it. People staring with envy as they sit cupless and coffeeless. I love it all. THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY, REALLY HARD. This will mean making instant at home (I love instant coffee) and bringing it out with me in a mug (my sis got me a great one for my bday last year that I have yet to use) or drinking the coffee/tea at work. It's not so bad. It's really not. (Keep telling yourself that, kid.)

Jesus CHRIST there's nothing I love more than buying products I don't need at the D to the R. I even wrote a post on how Mr. Read is my boyfriend. I love Duane. I love spending ridiculous amounts of money on new lip gloss, eye shadow, mascara, lotions, potions, KY for when you do the motions. (rrreow) I LOVE IT. I love buying 3 different packs of gum just because I want to try this new flavor. I love it all and it's going to be VERY hard to stop. This means fewer trips to DR, obvsies. And when I go in to buy the necessities (toilet paper, soap, magazines... shit... magazines are not a necessity!!? FUCK) GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD.

Possibly the hardest one of all. Guys...I EAT OUT EVERY FREAKING MEAL. It might just be a $3 breakfast treat but dammit I seriously eat out every single meal. This is retarded! Right guys? This is RETARDED. I am wasting my $$ and it's going to FUCKING FOOD THAT I POOP OUT. I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT! (Except 15 lbs. Seriously. How did I gain 15 lbs?!) Ok this will mean planning. Lots of planning on my part. I will give myself a little leeway just in case I forgot a lunch or something so that I can go to Duane Read (yeeesh! Sabotage!) and buy a Lean Cuisine or something. That's the only time I can go out to buy something. I have to shop for food & make my meals at home. I am a terrible cook so this will be a month of chicken and... pasta? GOOD GOD. WHY AM I DOING THIS.

There's a few exceptions I can think of right now for this month and one is a Bliss Facial. Sounds ridic, I know, but I have a Gift Certificate and Liz and I booked a day at the Spa in Feb and I'll need to tip the lady, obvs. $20 goes to that. I'd obviously make an exception if it was someone's birthday and I was going to get them a gift (or perhaps I should just make something?) or if I'm in dire need of a cab (which would only be if I were EXTREMELY late for a show or if it was late and I had been out drinking)...

And that leads me to another point that might be hard:

Not that I'm some lush (I have a mug of vodka in my hand right now) but I do go out A LOT. I have a ton of friends and a lot of them like to party like rock stars. So no drinking in February is going to be hard. There will be two exceptions to this rule: 1) Super Bowl Sunday (Which I might actually skip because I'm lame and have been tired lately) and 2) a ladies brunch my friends and I planned a while ago. Other than that, no drinky McMurray.

Why am I doing this?

Because I'm in a little bit of debt. Because I spend money like I have an endless supply. (And trust me, I DO NOT.) Because I'm living beyond my means and I spend $ on stuff I don't need. And because I'd like to see if I can do it. I think I'll appreciate buying things willy-nilly a little more after this month is up.

Oh, and if you'll notice I'm doing this in February... the shortest month of the year.

I'm also not going to use my credit card. Right now I have about, oh, $14 in my bank account. Let's see where I'm at on Feb 28th.

Talking about this inspired a friend to stop masturbating for a month. And I think that's kind of awesome cuz it's gonna be hard. No wait, it's NOT gonna be hard. Heyoooo!

Has anyone else been inspired to do something for February?

Since I'm not religious this is sort of like my lent, I guess.

I'm buying myself an awesome dinner tonight (and watching Blazing Saddles at home) to bid farewell to my extravagant ways.

Have a great day!



1 comment:

Michelle said...

no duane reade? Noooooo! Today I bought two toothbrushes and some 75% off Valentine candy. Fun!