NYR #1

I didn't really set a list of New Year's Resolutions for myself. I'm already on a workout kick (read: I HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME ON MY HANDS) and I'm pretty much all-around awesome otherwise. I mean, I could probably stand to floss more but then again I've never had a cavity in my life so take off, will ya.

So here's my first resolution of the new year. I think it's quite lovely.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION NO. 1 OF 1,000 BY GLENNIS F. McMURRAY

I shall stop using so many exclamation points and ":)" to express my excitement and/or general delight when IMing and/or gchatting with pals.

There. I think that's a great start. I'm really very excited about this one. I'm also smiling. Neither of which are probably very well expressed here as I'm no longer allowed to use an exclamation point (unless someone has told me really great news... oh wait... I should have exceptions...)

EXCEPTIONS TO RULE NO. 1 (OF 1,000)

1. The reception of really great news.
UNACCEPTABLE:
Pal - I just had a baby!
Me - Wow.

ACCEPTABLE:
Pal - I just had a baby!
Me - Wow! :)

2. A smiling contest.
UNACCEPTABLE:
Pal - :) :) :)
Me - ...

ACCEPTABLE:
Pal - :) :) :)
Me - :) :) :) :) I WIN

3. Announcing great personal news.
UNACCEPTABLE:
Me - I just cured cancer.
Pal - I don't get it.

ACCEPTABLE:
Me - I just cured cancer!!
Pal - YOU ARE MY HERO!!

4. When receiving compliments.
UNACCEPTABLE:
Pal - You might be the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. No, you definitely are.
Me - Thanks.

ACCEPTABLE:
Pal - You are so fucking pretty.
Me - Thanks!! :)

5. When talking with a child.
UNACCEPTABLE:
Little Pal - Hi! Wee! :) Poop!
Me - Hello.

ACCEPTABLE:
Little Pal - Hi! Wee! :) Poop!
Me - Hello! :)

I think that covers all my bases. Oh except I forgot one last one: When talking with the President of the United States.

...EXCEPT THAT FITS UNDER RULE #5. OHHHHH! TREATED! (see, those needed exclamation points.)

WELL DONE, GLENNIS.

New Years Resolution #2 TBA.

Have a really and truly wonderful day.

Love,

Glennis