First, let me point out that I don't like when people call me "Glen" (well, there's a few that can get away with it BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) so don't think my title is an excuse to do so.
Second, this is the glam life that I live:
I hosted a show about weddings (see: Always a Bridesmaid...Scaring the Bride) with my friend Kate on Friday night. On Tuesday of last week I went to the Salvation Army at 49th/10th Ave (a treck, ok?) and bought two dresses that looked similar so Kate and I could look like bridesmaids at a wedding and work it out in our opening bit of the show. Did we work it out? Did we EVER. The dresses were $25 each. So let's start there.
The show was at the PIT theatre at 11pm. On a Friday. Now, I have to tell you that in my mind I was like "OF COURSE people will want to spend their Friday nights at a shitty comedy theatre (or "club" if you're talking to Jeff) on 29th street watching a show about weddings. I MEAN... OF COURSE!"
We had 7 people in the audience.
100% of them were our friends.
100% of the 7 people in the audience were friends we begged to come to our show.
At the PIT if you don't bring in 15 people at $8 each then you have to pay the balance.
I should mention Kate bought a bottle of champagne for the show at around a sweet $10.
And our tech canceled last minute. Let's hire a tech person. Let's pay them $20.
At the end of the night we gave that lovely theatre $64 for letting us perform there.
That's right. In my glamorous life I get to spend $144 (divided by two) on a show for 7 people who are all our friends and could have watched that shit in my kitchen for free.
And you know what?
I would have done it again in a second.
I LOVE YOU, NEW YORK! YOU STUPID, DIRTY VAGINA!