You guys, I have a confession. I've been seeing someone on the side. Now before you judge me just listen. He's so awesome! He takes my needs into consideration first and he's Always got what I need. If I'm feelin' pain he eases it. If I'm hungry or thirsty he quenches it. Pretty much any desire I have, he's there.
That's right, my Easy Lover is...
Mr. Duane Reade
God you guys, my hearts all a twitter just thinking about him! Those isles! His scent! It drives me MAD! I could literally spend hours inside him and not get tired. RRREOW!!
The other day I was all, "oh man am I getting fine lines around my eyes?" First Duane told me NO. Then he recommended I use Neutrogena's Night Time Eye treatment, because, "it's never too early to take care of yourself, gorgeous!"
Oh DUUUUUUANE!!! (twitter!)
As I was leaving him last week, I coughed. He was concerned I might be "coming down with something" so he gave me some nyquil, OJ, tissues and a trashy mag. DUANE YOU KNOW ME SO WELL.
I seriously hope Duane isn't cheating on me. If I found out he was seeing another lady on the side... well, I just don't know what I'd do. Duane is my life!
Later tonight I'm meeting up for a rendezvous with him. He has this new lip gloss he thought would look amazing on me and GET THIS... he has TAMPONS for me! Come on girls, tell me you're not jealous of THAT!! It takes a pretty strong man to get tampons for his woman.
So anyway, I just wanted to let my secret out of the bag. I'm pretty hungry now, I think Duane's downstairs waiting with some Soy Crisps and an OJ. (read: snickers and coke)
Have a great day!
Glennis Reade (forevaaaaaa)