Thursday, April 06, 2006

No Matter How Hard You Try

So as we all know, I work in a pukey law firm to pay my bills. And I do find this law firm especially pukey not only because of the people that work here, but for the simple fact that it's eaten my soul in just 5 short years.

Irregahdless.

My firm is filled with the sort of people you might find, oh, in law firms, but of the especially douchey variety.

We have an intranet that holds all our company info where each employee must have a picture and their work information. It's not fun, but it's required (in fact, if an emaployee's picture is not posted on the intranet a few days after they start the phone starts to ring and people start to complain. IT'S THAT IMPORTANT).

But still.

Two new employees started last week and I sent their pictures to the Tech department so they could be posted online. The tech guy sent this email back:

These pictures are not very flatering. I cannot in good consious post these for everyone in the Firm to see. Could you please have these pictures retaken at your earliest convienance. Thanks


Wow! Seriously???

The dude is a TECH guy and he felt the need to comment on these poor women and their ugo OFFICE PHOTOS. Now I've seen the photes. The women just look that way. Honestly, there's nothing that can be done and they're not even THAT bad. I mean, they're not going to win beauty pageants but I doubt they're trying.

AND ALSO, YOU'RE JUST A TECH GUY!

I didn't write back and instead fwded the email to my boss who said, "Is he for REAL???????" Ha. Then I told my other boss and she goes, "Can you just fiddle with them in Photoshop a little?"

It's like Liz said, "It's as if everyone is saying, 'We all agree these women are ugly, Glennis. Now GET ON BOARD.'"

And my sister pointed out something.... what are we going to tell these ladies? Sorry, we have to retake your photo. The IT guy thinks you're ugly.

Shit man, it's depressing enough having to work in an office without the Tech guy judging your looks. What a shit.

Just for kicks I looked at his intranet picture and he's a bonafied GEEK. That was mean but I really need you to hate this dude. Ok he's not just a geek, I kinda love geeks... he's a bitter geek. You can see it on his face. Which just makes me feel bad for him and for reporting this whole story.

But, like the news, I must report all sides of the story.

This just goes to show that now matter how hard we try to deny it, people are ultimately just a bunch of douchebags.

6 comments:

JP said...

Hilarious! Did you type that from work? Grade A Ballsy!

Sidenote: just started reading your [very entertaining] blog recently - I noticed we just received an e-vite to the same b-day party...and that you aren't attending! (Yup, I love reading people's responses). Sucksville - I would've liked to meet you. Oh well.
Laters.

Glennis said...

Hi! Yes, I wrote that from work hahaha

Oh man, was is Spo's bday? I love me some SPO! But I'm gonna be in Chicago unfortch. Maybe you should just come to MY bday party! email me : )

jp said...

Spo-tastic indeed! Your b-day sounds like it will be a blast - I would love to come (even though I will know about zero people)! What is your e-mail? It's probably on your site somewhere around eye level, but I'm too dumb to see it.

Snow White said...

I love that the tech guy cannot spell. BTW...I'm going to write into ABC and suggest that you replace Meredith Viera on "The View." Then you won't have to worry about working at the law firm anymore. AND you can give me all the dirt on Star Jones.

Glennis said...

JP: glennisthemenace@gmail.com

Robyn: I know, wtf man, at least SPELL check!! Also, I think that being on the View would be the best idea ever. I can just see my sassy wit knocking America off its feet! But I'm afraid if I was on there all I'd do is stare at Star's flat droopy boobies. SO GRODY

Michelle said...

Not all lawyers are icky ugly douchebag scum-bo-fucktards! Some of us even make up cool words like that!

Oh and happy birthday! Hooray!

Oh, and nice blog! I will shortly atttach it to mine. Mine doesn't have my picture but you can recognize me cause I've got lots of impro-visor blogs attached to my blog.

Love,
Michelle
Lawyer
Improvisor
Comic
Hottie