The Biggest Moron

Sometimes, guys, sometimes I wish my office was on a TV show called, "The Biggest Moron." If that were the case I know who would win. I can say whatever I want on here because I doubt this lady knows how to get online, let alone do a simple google search.

I really hate to be mean. No. No I don't. She's a moron. I love this.

First of all, can we just discuss the fact that she wears a fountain-pony on the top of her head? Yeah, I wore those too.


When I was 4.
(That's me when I was a baby. My hair was a little darker. Cute, right?)

Second, every time she calls me it goes like this:

(Phone rings)

ME
This is Glennis

HER
Oh...Uh... Glennis?

ME
Yes. This is Glennis.

HER
Oh. Hi.

ME
CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING??

HER
Yeah um... Glennis?

ME
YES! YES! FUCK! YES! THIS IS GLENNIS! WHAT?!?!

God! Seriously so annoying!

But today was the moment where I was like, "how do you work here?" I went upstairs to cover a break for her.

HER
Are you going to that dinner?

ME
What dinner?

HER
Oh I mean lunch.

ME
What lunch?

HER
The years of service lunch or something... Oh have you worked here for over 20 years?

ME
(blank stare)
Seriously?

HER
Oh yeah... probably not huh.

ME
Wait... seriously?

Then I swung her over my head by her stupid fountain ponytail. SERIOUSLY! YOU ARE 40! STOP WEARING A FUCKING FOUNTAIN-PONY ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD!!

Ug, sorry guys. Wow. So much anger here! Right here... in my knee.

I'm sure I'll have some great stories to tell on Friday since our office holiday party is tomorrow night. Here's something: the holiday party cost more than I make in a year! Fun fact! Also, there's an open martini bar. Hello!

I'm gonna look preeeetty. Drunk.

Have a great day!

Love,

Glennis