Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Diarrhea

Here is my horoscope for today:

You might be tempted to say something that you would normally keep to yourself, yet you still choose to withhold a secret or two. The problem is that your words could inadvertently slip out faster than you realize and before you know it, you've blurted out something inappropriate. Think about the consequences before you speak.


Oh really, myspace.com horoscopes?? Really? I, Glennis McMurray, might blurt out something inapprops!?

Well DUH. I mean, really. That's like saying Dolly Parton might be top heavy.


Come on.

I just can't stop myself. It's as if my mind has OCD... but not when it comes to keeping the fringe on my area rug neat and tidy, only when it comes to blurting out something I know I should not say. All I can do is repeat it over and over in my head.

And it's not like I don't try to reason with my brain. I tell it, "come on, you know asking to drive this man's taxi is a bad idea! Why even ask, Glennis?" and yet some other part of my brain continues to obsess over it to the point where I feel like if I don't get this diarrhea out (of my mouth) I'll explode!

And say I hold it together long enough not to say what I want to say to someone's face I either a) call them, b) email them or c) text them.

It's a disease. I ate some bad ecoli thought-spinach and now my word-diarrhea is at its worst.

Please, someone help me!!

[Insert picture here of me with a piece of poop stuck in my mouth]

Love,

Glennis

PS - I realize my blog seems rather candid and yet I'm leaving out 50% of the stuff I want to write. It's almost impossible. Like plugging a damn with a dick. I just coined that phrase. Seriously, help me. I can't stop.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Try a one-hour post. Write what you really want to, leave it up for an hour, then take it down. Whoever sees it sees it, and it's not enough time for Google to cache it. It's very cathartic to know something is out in the ether but that it can very easily be removed.