I can't for the life of me remember what I did on St. Patrick's day last year. And I don't think it's because I drank too much. So this year I decided to do it up big Glenny Style (weird) and go all out. I tried to start drinking early but the closest I got to "early" was meeting Liz and Jeff at King's Head Tavern at 6pm. Bad, bad idea. I walked from my house over and as I neared the pub it just felt douchier and douchier and by the time I hit the KH we were in full-blown Fresh mode. I ducked in for a second to say hi to Ned (the 'tender for your bender) but he was so crazed his response to "how's it going!?" was "Sam Adams!?" Ah sir you know me well. Liz and Jeff showed up 1/2 way through my first beer much to my relief. It wasn't so much that I was alone just the fact that NO ONE ELSE WAS. Kind of an odd feeling. We stood and drank another round of beers and made fun of THE drunkest guy I've ever seen (standing).
(Side Note: I'm watching The Riches right now on FX and Minnie Driver just went to the freezer to get ice cream which turns out to be where they're hiding a bunch of money and I'm all dude I would never hide my money in an ice cream carton in the freezer because that's the FIRST THING I'd reach for if I was looking in the freezer! But then she takes it out and buries the money in the back yard so maybe she had the same idea...)
Anyway, doesn't that dude look like (as Jeff pointed out) one of those gangster dudes from the old Warner Bros cartoons?
The rest of the night was, as you can imagine, full of booze, songs, and of course the obligatory green wig.
I tooted.
I bought that wig a while ago to be a part of an alien band as part of the ucb show Sith In The City. I know the show had a lot of Star Wars references in it and that I cut our song off two verses too early. Eliza wrote this awesome song about Anakin Skywalker - so awesome in fact that I still remember how it goes in my head. I am humming it right now.
ANYWAY...
I wore that wig and the night was a hit. There's something about donning a wig that makes you feel mysterious. Alias had nothing on me that night. And so because of that I decided that this year I want all of my friends attending my birthday party to wear wigs. Imagine the fun! Imagine the pictures! Oh it will be a night to remember (and it will also be a night held at Planet Rose Karaoke so it will pretty much be exactly like St. Patty's. Except it will be my birthday!!)
At one point in the night a super cute guy sat next to Liz at the bar. We made eyes and were all "hi. oh hi. hehe oh hi." and Carrie was like "that guy is HOT!" So, being the Alias sleuth that I was that night, I timed my bathroom break to coincide with his and ended up in line behind him. I said hey and he turned around and we started talking. Bold moves for a bold wig, guys. Turns out his name is...wait you'll never guess. In a million years will you never guess what his name was. I'll give you a clue. It's my name without the last three letters. Yeah...Glen. So right off we see that this romance was doomed, do we not? The second sign was him saying to me OVER AND OVER, "you are so beautiful! where did you come from! you are so amazing! I want to take you home and make a suit out of your skin!!" I mean I enjoy compliments as much as the next girl but it started to feel like this desperate ploy to get me home so he could, as Liz put it, "put the lotion in the basket." I could just see this dude tucking his lil man between his legs and doing a dance to the crying game for me.
But, you know how I roll guys, I like attention and he was giving me attention and for a while it was ok. But then he started in with the putting his arm around me and I'd had just about enough so I told him to beat it. Nicely. Which for me is "beat it, shorty."
Luckily for us my esteemed colleague Carrie snapped these pictures of me singing "One Moment In Time." Can we please check out the CREEP FACTOR HERE.
"I'm sorry my friendship OFFENDS YOU."
AHH! Just looking at that picture makes me scream a little bit! Ahhh! I feel like he's going to come to life from the picture and stab me in my ample bosom! Here, let's take a closer look.
AHHH!!! Get it away! GET IT AWAY!! Make it better, SS!
Whenever I was scared when I was little I'd think of Strawberry Shortcake. Oh what like you're so normal?!
Anyway, the night was amazing and fun and Eliza closed the place down with me when we busted out our show-stopper Suddenly Seymour and then I peaced the eff out, ate two pieces of pizza and cabbed it home.
St. Patrick's Day 2007? SUCCESS
Love,
Glennis
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