Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Special girl, real good girl

Here I am sitting at work at 8:32:05 am, wondering what to write about. Two things caught my attention this morning. First the ride up in the elevator when a young girl of my "type" in corporate garb was blasting 'Vivrant Thing' by Q-Tip (of A Tribe Called Quest fame) which is one of my all time favorite songs that I could listen to over and over and never get tired of. The beat and rhythm along with Q-Tip's awesome voice keep me dancin back for more. But anywhozelbums.

The song was so loud from her headphones I could hear every word and my initial reaction was to catch her eye and start mouthing the lyrics so we could have an, "I feel you sister, we're in the saaaaaame corporate boat to hell. I mean elevator." moment. But then one of the partners in my firm stepped on and my hopes were crushed. I MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY HERE, PEOPLE. (which leads me to my triple life theory which I'll get to in a second) So we ride the elevator up to the 5th floor where my elevator dj gets off. The partner imediatelly turns to me and with utter disgust and judgement in his voice says, "That girl has HEARING ISSUES. People are so incredibly RUDE." I kinda looked down and nervously half-laughed, hoping he hadn't seen the teeny tiny head bops coming from my corner of the box. WHY DO I EVEN CARE. I don't know, but I do. I mean, really... what's he going to do. Come tell my boss that I was enjoying someone else's music? What a terrible thing. (A terrible. A terrible thing.)

Ok so now my triple life theory. I lead three lives. The life at work. The life outside of work. And the life in front of my therapist. The lift at work is super serious, very boring, scheduled, regimented. The life outside of work is sometimes harried, fun, crazy, sleepy, eaty, good. The life in front of my therapist is a mix of both. Let's get down to business and work this shit out without the super-serious work mode in place. Also, everyone should be going to a therapist. AMAZING. Did you know it's not just for crazy people? It's for New Yorkers.

One more thing I was thinking about this morning: Gretchen Mol. What happened to that girl? She was all set to be the hot new girl when she starred in Rounders in 1998 and then she kind of dropped off the map. Right? I mean she did a bunch of movies and has been working since then but really nothing too big (aside from "The Shape of Things" which I never saw... was it good?). Anyway, so now she's starring in "The Notorious Betty Page" which I'm pretty excited for. Hoping it will be great. I think she's a great actress... but again I'm remembering from way back in 98 so I guess I could be wrong? I don't like a lot of things I liked in 98.

Luis, it's not 98 any more. Get to steppin.

Oh god wait, I have to talk about something else. Kellie Pickler (American Idol, people... watch it).

The girl drives me up the WALL. Listen, I know America loves her and she's adorable and yes I agree she IS adorable at times. At first I loved her! But come on. The whole act is really driving me nuts because that's just what it is. I'm sure the girl mistakenly said something that sounded cute and ditzy and the producers were like "do MORE OF THAT!!!!" So now she's workin the whole Jessica Simpson thing.

"I had a new food today. Calamari!" (ok fine, I can see someone not having had that before. I had never had it before I moved to NY.)

"I had a new food today. Today I ate SaLmon." (You're from the country and you don't know that the L in salmon is silent? Don't Salmon COME FROM THE COUNTRY??? Also, you have a southern accent... the "L" would be less pronounced.)

"I have new eyelashes today!! They feel like spiders!" (referring to her fake eyelashes) Ryan Seacrest, "don't you have arachnaphobia?" Kelly, "yes! i am afraid of insects! isn't that what that is? hehehe!!!" (OH MY GODDDDDDDD.)

(After Simon calls her a 'Naughty Little Minx') "I'm a Whuut? I'm a Mink! Yee Haw!" (Ok she didn't yee haw. But god damn the girl is driving me BANANAS!!!!)

I just told my friend Brittany that she reminds me of her. NOT in those ways but in her manerisms. So if you read this Britt, that's what I meant.

Aaaaand I feel better.

It's hard out here for a pimp.
It's hard to walk with a limp.
This sauce is hot on my shrimp.
Shirley Temple was known for her dimp.
I feel like I work for a chimp.
In the 80's my hair I would crimp.
That big girl looks like a blimp.
When I get paid I won't have to scrimp.
I said it's hard out here for a pimp.



Snow White said...

I love the idea that therapy is essential to all New Yorkers...I think you have a bestselling book in your future!

Kirby Pickler said...

YOU complete ME!

(PS: I was on the Kelly Pickler express thought she was adorable - Until last night - That was the final straw!! I am done with her)

Have I told you that I miss you lately?