Glesbo: Idol on Fawx

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Idol on Fawx

I watch American Idol on Tivo because I'm usually too busy becoming a staaaah (papa!) to watch it at home. And Anthony Fedorov, I have one thing to say to you. I fast forward through all of your songs. Brotha, you just plain creep me out. I can't stop looking at your neck hole. And I can't help but think that people are voting for you because you pulled the "doctors thought I was never going to be able to speak" card. It doesn't get me. Legless kitties, blind babies, birds without wings... you got my vote. Anthony Federov? Beat it.

Also, I love how they pimped Scott up like they did little Jonathan Lipnicky. Sooo cuuuuuuute! He went from a waterin' hole to a pimp cup. And Aaaaah love it.

But really, the competition can stop right now. Vonzell's takin' it home. All the way. That girl can blow.

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."