Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Steak, BJ's and Love

Listen, ladies.

Ok...I'm SO not trying to be one of those girls who's like "cool" and "hip" and "down" who's all "I love football and can eat anything I want and all I ever want to do is give head!"


But just listen...I came across a website for a new holiday, Steak & BJ day, and... it kinda makes a lot of sense to me.

Now listen. Listen! It's the counter-holiday for Valentine's Day, ok? Men are expected to spend exorbitant amounts of cash on dinner, roses, jewelry (not all do. the keepers will.) and in turn we...what, make a mix CD and give them a card? Do you honestly think dudes give two shits about Valentine's Day? If you're a dude and you are reading this and you LOVE V-day please comment ok?

And wait... I'm not talking like you love V-day because you love to do nice things for your lady and show her how much you care... I'm talking YOU GET SOMETHING OUT OF THE CHEEZY FLOWERS AND CANDY ASPECT OF V-DAY. (Don't get me wrong... I love me some flowers and candy. This is just to prove a point. You hear, all you future boyfriends out there?)

And I know you ladies are thinking "but, I don't want to be forced to give my man a BJ on a specific day" and to that I say... seriously? Ok, I get it, not everyone likes going down on their man. I'm tooootally hearin you barkin, dawg. But like Chris Rock says, "It's 2007 and you still don't give head? (I mean, it's a loose quote... give me a break here.)

Jesus ladies please don't hate me. I'm still something of a feminist, I swear. You all want me to die, don't you?

OH WAIT! One last thing... if you're going to celebrate Valentine's Day AND Steak and BJ day then you better bet that man's goin down on you for V-Day. Amiright??

So, for V-day the ladies now get: 1) dinner, 2) flowers, 3) cunnilingus, 4) maybe jewelry and for S&BJ Day the dudes get: 1) Steak, 2) a big old fat BJ.


I love this idea. I don't care who hates me for it. And besides, I'm just trying to prove a point. What is that point? That I'm slutty. But we already knew that. I mean, even my mother called me a "whole-priced whore" on g-chat the other day. I love you mommy.

Happy Dinner, Flowers, Knecklace and Go Down on Me Day!




Jaime said...

I very randomly found your blog but, christ, I am enjoying it. I wish I was a lesbian so I could try and hit on you and be rejected. Then, at least, my life would be somewhat complete. Until then...

Glennis said...

Wowzers, Thanks Jaime!! That's like maybe the biggest compliment I've ever gotten. Rrraarrr!



Renee said...

that's a definitely interesting way to look at Valentine's day... after some further investigation about Steak & Blowjob Day, i found another interesting site...

there's one article there about giving good blowjobs... they should have something there about going down on the ladies.

I Love Cougars said...

In honour of such a great holiday, I offer the following Not-For-Hallmark greetings….

It’s March 14th
You know what that means
I’ll gobble your knob
And juggle your beans
Now eat your steak
Like a good little chum
And when you’re all finished
I’ll swallow your cum!