Off The Chain Reaction!

You guys? Holy crap yesterday was SO FUN.

I don't even know where to start! And I can't tell you everything because I signed a paper saying I wouldn't (um I think they're called contracts?), but I will tell you what I can. Oh god. So So fun.

Ok so where do I start? Well let's start with the obvious: what we obsessed about before actually getting to the studio to shoot our game show. Naturally it was 1) hair and makeup - would it be provided? and 2) the foxiness that is the host of Chain Reaction:


Above or Below?
(Watch the show and that hilarious joke will make sense.)

I might also add that 3) is "will Glennis find her future husband today?" A joke. (Kinda)

We arrive at the studio and are whisked inside and upstairs! To a glamorous holding room! It's all very exciting! We walk in to find three men sitting in the room already. Is this our competition? We talk to them and find out that they're brothers and have flown all the way from Ohio and Maryland. That's a long way to fly for some shitty Chain Reaction money, yo! I mean they were the sweetest guys ever. So excited to be in NY and to be on the show but thank GOD they were not our competition because I would have felt terrible sending their asses back to Ohio/Maryland empty handed. I mean, they wouldn't really have been empty handed cuz that's what yer dicks are for, right? Men?

Anyway.

The first thing we're asked to do is hand over our cell phones. Cuz you know, you don't want to...call...someone...to get...words? We also can't have reading material, though as Kate pointed out, Oprah and the news was readily available in the makeup room.

AND YES. WE DID GET SOME MOTHER EFFIN HAIR AND MAKEUP.

I mean... we looked foxy. (Almost as foxy as Dylan. Sigh.) Here, take a gander:


I realize I look exactly the same.

Oh and I didn't say we did beat those guys, either. Just that it would have sucked had we beat them. (I'm being very careful here. I don't want to get the pants sued off me. They make my ass look so nice. Oh my god I really need to stop making such cheesy jokes.)

Ok so what else. Oh! They're going over the rules with us and they say stuff like, "If Dylan makes a joke...just laugh at it. Even if it doesn't make sense. Or it's cheesy, (see above) just laugh." I mean, I totally get what they're saying. I get it. Dylan makes a joke: laugh like a school girl. Not really going to be a problem since, did I mention, Dylan is a foxy, foxy fox. We were laughing butter in his cheesy hands. But then they say, "And if he gets some information slightly incorrect, don't correct him. Just don't correct Dylan at all." Oooo...kay. So laugh at him and don't correct him. Is Dylan... an infant? Cuz I thought he was my future husband and I'm really not ok with marrying an infant. No. Not even an infant who hosts his own game show. Well...I mean it depends on what game show.

But then we get on stage and Dylan is charming and pretty funny. And did I mention foxy? Yeah. Hey Dylan Lane if you are reading this CALL ME. Let's get bizzy, Dizzy.

What else can I tell you?! I think that's all I can tell you about the actual game. I can tell you that AFTER the game my teammates and I went to dinner. They with their boyfriends, and me with mine:


Kiss me you fool...bodied beer.

God. I am on fire with the puns today.

We ate at Vintage on the Upper West and it was delish. Our waitress checked herself out in the mirror while taking our orders and when asking Kate and her man what they wanted to drink, looked outside and goes, "it's snoooowwwiiing." I had to jingle some keys in front of her face to get her back. But I shouldn't be so mean because at the end of the night (after a few glasses of wine) I got the hiccups. BAD. Like the teeth-shattering, stomach crampy kind. And she comes over, sees me hiccupping up a storm and brings over club soda and this:



Lemons. On which I had my period. It's really bitters. Relax. And yo, that shit worked! My hiccups were gone INSTANTLY. So I guess this distracted waitress actually has more power than anyone I know for she's the only person I've met who's successfully cured hiccups.

And if you've found my blog by googling "best cure for hiccups" and are sitting there hic-hic-hiccing away, my condolences.

Our episode doesn't air until, I think, March 27th. I will make sure to remind everyone, natch. And! Stay tuned for my COMPLETE post after the show airs. Oh there's some stuff to tell. Oh yes.

Seriously, such a fun time. Everyone should be on a game show once, I say.

Have a great night!

Love,

Glennis