Glesbo: You know you like it.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

You know you like it.

Come on people. It's time to get out of that closet and admit what we all know is going on.

We all love Kelly Clarkson.

I don't care who you are. I know you love her. What? What's that? You say you've never heard her?

Well my friend, please tell me when you get out of jail/the rock you're living under so I can play her for you.

Oh, what? Wait... what? You say you've heard her but don't like her?

Saying you don't like Kelly Clarkson is like saying you don't poop. We all do it, we just don't like to talk about it.

Well I'm talking. I like her. I might dare say I LOVE her. The girl can sing and as poppy as her songs are, they are also fucking catchy and fun to dance/workout/sing/masturbate to. Did I say masturbate?

YES I DID.

Kelly's single "Since U Been Gone" fell off the Top 40 after 33 weeks making it not ony the longest charting single in the ARC Weekly Top 40 history, but also the biggest single in the chart's 25 year history.

I mean, come on.

And she's adorable!

Yeah I am!

It's becoming more and more clear why people think I'm a lesbian. Sigh.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Don't worry. I agree with you. I love Kelly Clarkson. Not as much when she was a pawn of Simon Fuller and American idol, but definitely a lot more now that she has a say in the songwriting/music.

I was finally able to admit this to myself and the world a few months ago. I just hope she controls her voice a bit more. We need Kelly around for years to come.

Who doesn't love to rock out to "Behind These Hazel Eyes" in their car?; 2:23 PM

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."