Wednesday, April 11, 2007

My Body Never Knew Such Pleasure

Taking a page from the blog-o-Allocco I've started looking up music videos for songs I'm obsessed with. It just adds that certain something, don't you think? Like a finger up the pooper during sex? (Sorry mom...)

Now if you've spoken to me in the past few days I've probably asked you this question:

"Do you know the male part to 'All Cried Out'?"

I've been met with "I've never heard of that song," "I know it but not well" and "get the hell out of my way tardo."

YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW THE GREATEST SONG EVER SUNG BY LISA LISA AND CULT JAM!!?! FUCK YOUR FACES!!!!

God dammit watch the video right now.



Now... if there is someone who knows the male part to this song or is willing to learn it for the purposes of karaoke... EMAIL ME NOW.

I came home today after just having talked to my poor daddy on the phone and was super depressed. I walked in my room and saw my roommate left me a birthday present. I STARTED CRYING! I was so touched and also kinda tired but so so touched! So I'm sitting here on my computer and I decide I need to look up that music video. That the music video for a song I love will surely make me feel better. And you know what? It didn't. I mean it made me sadder, guys. Is that even possible? Lisa Lisa's annoying, nasally voice can make someone SADDER??

So I started chatting with Lynn and ask her the question I've asked everyone (except now that I say it I might not have asked Liz and she, of all my friends, would know this song! She is a pop culture WHIZ! So, Liz the Whiz... DO YOU KNOW IT!?) and Lynn doesn't know it but she listens to the song and even buys it on iTunes at my insistence and then she shows me what might be the most amazing thing I've ever seen with my two perfect eyes. (seriously, my vision is way awesome)

I'm pretty sure everyone and their mom has seen these vids but I haven't and it made me SQUEEL. Please... PLEASE... if you've never watched a single video on my blog stop what you are doing and watch these.

I give you:

The Charlotte Church Show

I call this one: "Thr out togetu brtr do wht u cn."



I call this one: "Dolly Parton just killed herself."



And this final one I call, what else: "They're crying because you WON'T SHUT UP."



Jesus christ! These are GOLD. Charlotte Church you are a first class douchebag. Summerey Summer Fresh with a tube comin' out yer crotch.

I feel SO much better. This is almost as good as the video of Jessica Simpson singing Jewel.

I hope this made your day, too.

Love,

Glennis

2 comments:

Liz said...

I know that my tiny brain is only good for one thing - pop culture junkie poops - but I don't actually know that Lisa Lisa song and probably wouldn't be your pick to do the man-part anyway. (I do my man parts in private! Oh!) Also, wasn't Charlotte Church like, and operatic whiz-kid? I thought she was famous like, forever ago for her dolphin-like singing.

Anonymous said...

That version of 9 to 5 is Fergielicious - how could you not love that? Fonky.