Thursday, June 08, 2006

Glennis' Anatomy, episode #4

Glennis' Anatomy
Episode 4
"The Other Team?"

Exterior shot: Glennis' office building. Snappy doodle mouth harp clap hands theme music.

Interior shot, lunch room.

Female Attorneys
(In Unison)
Jake, we hear Glennis is a lesbian. We await your response in writing.

Super Nice, Kinda Hip Male Co-Worker
What? No... no I don't think so. I think she has a boyfriend.

Take Us Seriously Female Attorneys
(Monotone, In Unison, making hand quotes)

Nice Co-Worker
No. Not "BOYFRIEND." Boyfriend. For real.

Douchey Douche F-Attorneys

Thumbs Up Co-Worker
No. She has a picture of him on her desk.


Stop it.

Stop it, ALLEGEDL...

I quit.

Cut to: Glennis' desk.

Glennis looks happy. She's furiously IMing jokes to her friend J.

Glennis (on IM)
Hey J... what did the mayo say to the Fridge?

J (on IM)

Glennis (on IM)
Close the door! I'm dressing!

J (on IM)
You are retarded.

Glennis (on IM)
Yeah I am! Anyway...

Suddenly, a screeching howl comes from inside Glennis' boss' office.

Awesome Boss
GLENNNIIS!! Come in heeeeere!!

Glennis (on IM)

Glennis jumps up from her desk and walks into her boss' office.

J (on IM)
PLMA. (Please, leave me alone.)
(Glennis does not see this)

What's up boss-pants??

Super Awesome Greatest Boss Ever
Glennis! It has come to my attention that you bat for the other team.
(slurp, chew, eat)

IIIIII. I what now?

Boss of the Year
Don't worry! I'm not gonna fire you! I'm cool. I'm hip. I'm with it. I just want to know because my daughter is a "Betty Both-Ways" and I just think you're TOPS, Glennis. Really TOPS. I wouldn't mind seeing you two together. Have some gay kids. Live in San Francisco. The whole nine yards.

Well sir... I'm sure your daughter is NICE but I'm not...

Brainiac Boss
Listen, don't try to tell me you're not a Muff Diver! I found your blog; I'm A Raging Lesbian dot Blogspot dot com?? And you live on Christopher Street. And your website with your "woman friend" LIZ, which I can only assume is short for LESBO. And let's not even start with the way you dress.

The way I dress? What's wrong with the way I dress?

Glennis... Rosie O'Donnell called, she wants her wardrobe back. HIGH FIVE!

Cut to the Super Serious Female Attorneys giving him a high five.

Whoa! Where did they come from? Wait... no wait! Sir... I am not a...

Awww... that's too bad. Well no bother. Like I said, I'm cool. I'm down. I'm with it. No problem at all. (beat) Boy, you sure don't do much work around here, do you? I bet your job is completely expendable! I'm gonna have to look into that.

Against! What I meant to say was I'm not AGAINST meeting your daughter! Woo! Lesbo! Let's do this thing!

That's what I like to hear! High Five!

Cut to: The three female attorneys appearing from out of nowhere.

Creepy Female Attorneys
High five in regard to your high five, Sir. Cc: Glennis

Jesus! How do they do that!

Cut to: Exterior shot of Restaurant. The location of THE DATE.

Cut to: Glennis standing outside nervously waiting for the Boss' daughter to show up.

Cut to: A nice young woman walking toward Glennis, smiling.

(interior monologue)
That must be her. She's not bad, I could see myself dating... wait! What am I saying. I'm NOT a lesbian. She looks REASONABLE. Yes. REASONABLE. I'll just explain the whole thing and we'll both have a good laugh. Yeah that's the ticke...

Cut to: The Boss' Daughter

Boss' Daughter
Yooooo hooooo!!! Glennnisssss!!!! Hehehe! HERE I YAM!!!


Next time on Glennis' Anatomy: The Date.


liz said...

Are you cheatin on me? baby. why don't you ever come hooome? I miss you. Love, Liz of

Michelle said...

i just snorted my seltzer. seriously. can i send you a resume?