in light of recent events (i.e. the past 26 years) i've come to a decision. now don't try to talk me out of this because I've made up my mind. from this day forward i'm not going to celebrate any more holidays except birthdays. i'm sorry if you are used to receiving huge sums of money (bags of coke) from me for christmas. but look on the bright side, that sum will be doubled for your birthday!
Two things to note about your present. 1. it's outdoor cocain, 2. silly straws make coke habits adorable
i just build the shit up so much nothing is ever going to be good enough. isn't that terrible? well that's how it is. it's all or nothing with me folks.
so that's about all. i just wanted you to know. no more holidays. christmas especially.
cheering up the world one post at a time,