Glesbo: me me me me me. all mine

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

me me me me me. all mine

I got an email from a friend the other day that Fuse was looking for people to submit jokes for a new show that sort of a cross between "weekend update" and "daily show" so I of course jumped at the oportunity. I slacked off until the last second and handed in 6 jokes two hours after the deadline.

So, because they were probably not even looked at and will never see the light of day, I'd like to present my favorite here for you, dear reader.

Enjoy!

In Star magazine Enrique Iglesias was recently quoted as saying, "The next product I'm gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it's really embarrassing for people--you know, from experience."

Factory workers have already begun manufacturing the extra-small condoms and have reported they're having trouble telling when the condoms are in the box.

Ooooh snap! Glennis, you are comedy GOLD my friend. Comedy GOLD.

Happy Transit Strike!

Love,
Glennis

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."