Glesbo: G Diddy

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

G Diddy

I feel like I'm pretty much on the cusp of being so famous I can't eat out without someone trying to swipe my napkin to sell on ebay. I mean... I was in a COMMERCIAL. So today I was contacted... I mean my publicist, manager? Both of those things were contacted today about my own clothing line. At first I was all "who do I think I am, Puffy?" Then after an uncomfortable 5-minute silence (during which people were probably considering if what I had just said was racist or not) I thought, "hey, I could be a black dude! I mean have a clothing line."

I signed the contracts without really knowing what the clothes were going to look like. And now I think I might regret that. Here's the line. It's only a few peices. I think I need a lawyer.

PEE PANTS BOXER SHORTS

PUBIE HAIR BABY TEE

SEXY SKID-MARK THONG UNDIES

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: Wrong. You are just wrong.; 7:21 PM
Anonymous said...: skid...necessary? no.
perfect? yes.; 9:03 AM
Anonymous said...: I've been waiting for a pubie hair baby tee, thanks for making my dreams come true!; 2:34 PM

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."