Friday, March 20, 2009

Stress Buster

If you look up "stress" in the dictionary there is probably a picture of me beside it. I am a tightly-wound, nail-biting, teeth-gnashing, shoulder-scrunching ball of stress. I've had shingles (adult chicken pox - very painful! Very rare in people my age.) and burst a blood vessel in my eye while singing on stage (and kept performing! you know this. you read my blog.).

Tomorrow I'm driving to Ohio with my sister and our friend a RN, Corrine, to pick up my 64-year-old father with Alzheimer's to bring him to a nursing home in Long Island.

You can imagine my level of stress today!! It's not just the drive or the fact that my father is now incontinent (thank god for Corrine!), it's that I haven't seen him in a while and my real fear/stress is that he won't remember me.

And so I'm trying to think of and do things that relieve that stress so it doesn't build up and cause my legs to be sucked up into my butthole. Here's what I've come up with so far:

1. Drinking contest
2. Eating contest
3. Judging a contest for baby ducks, kittens or turtles (wearing clothes!)
4. Sit next to a fat, sleeping man on the train - zone out to the sounds of his heavy breathing
5. Call my old landlord to tell her what a cunt she is
6. Laugh (at the less fortunate)
7. Remodel my kitchen using a sledgehammer and chainsaw
8. Getting high contest
9. Get hit by a bus, go into coma, wake up rested
10. Punch a hole in something (I'm looking at you, door)

In reality I'll probably just curl up and watch the DVD of Pinnochio my sweetie just brought home for me.

Wish (upon a star) me luck tomorrow. I'll be letting the GPS be my guide to a stress-free trip.



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