Jemtastic!

Hey you guys check out this sweet little review Jem & The Holograms got by the Comedy Central Insider! Yay!


Showtime, Synergy!

xoxo

Glennis

Ruh-Ro!

Holy shit...this guy's amazing!



Well, I found my future husband.

Love,

Glennis

Everyone's Singing They Just Want To Be Heard

I'm in such a state right now. Peaceful and happy and content and a little tired but mostly just plain... right. I went to see Waitress tonight after Dance Dance Party Party and dinner with Marcy. I was in a different state earlier today after 500 beers last night, diner food at 4am and coming home as the sun came up. A wonderful and riotous night out with friends after a successful show and a man pulling me aside to tell me I am beautiful. Everyone should have sweet moments like that. Moments in hallways and out of the eyes of strangers.

Tonight was another wonderful New York night. One of those nights where I'm surrounded by the madness and the noise and the rush but I'm inside myself and just happy. I took a cab home to give my tired feet a rest. I came upstairs, immediately set down my stuff, grabbed my ipod and sat out on my balcony and listened to 3 Patty Griffin Songs. The last one was "Top of the World" which has the line I used for my title. I was full out, tears streaming down my face crying by the time that song ended. But they were happy tears. Tears that just had to come out and so I let them! Get out of this head tears! You're free! Ok that's a little cheesy but it was wonderful. It's a perfect Summer night out and I just couldn't think of a better place to be than right there at that moment.

I'm not sure what will happen in my life but I think for the first time I'm ok with not knowing. I'd always say "as soon as this happens I'll be happy." As soon as I lose weight... As soon as I get married... As soon as I get this job... As soon as ...well you get the picture.

And I feel like my posts are becoming a little repetitive and definitely cheese-town but it's something I guess I want to remember. Just in case a time comes along when I'm not so happy for one reason or another. I don't ever think I'll get back to the state I was in before and that's because I'm finally me. I know who I am. For the first time in my life.

I am taking a class with these women right now. They are beautiful and wonderful and amazing. They share things with us that just make me thankful there are people like that out there. They are so raw and open and generous and I can't tell you how much it means to me to be in the class. They tell stories about their life and they don't ask anyone to pity them. It's magical.

After watching Waitress tonight Marcy told me that she thought the director, and one of the actresses in the movie, Adrienne Shelly, had died recently. I thought how sad that someone who made something so wonderful is now dead. Her whole heart came out in that movie and to know she'd never make another one was too much. I just looked up more information on her and read this.

I'm not ending this post on a sad note but rather a happy one. It's wonderful that she got to show the world how much happiness and talent she had inside before she died. Some people never get a chance to do that and they live far too many years. Even if you only get to show one person who you are, do it. Life's too short not too. Be who you are. Make no apologies. You never know what you might find out.

Love,

Glennis

PS - The post below this one kind of ruins the moment so stop scrolling now.

Hmmm

It's been a while since I've made out with anyone inappropriately in a bar (on the street/at work) so I'm think it's high time I make out with someone.



Yes.

You will do quite nicely.

Quite nicely indeed.

Standards!

Love,

Glennis

I'm Losing You

Aren't I? You're slowly slipping through my fingers because I do not post enough. Isn't that right? Like a marriage gone sour because the MAN works too many hours or the WOMAN is out saving babies with no arms and fixing cleft palates.

Well let's just not get down on ourselves now, shall we? I'm here now!

I'm here to tell you that I am exhausted, once again. But this time I know why and I don't mind all that much. For you see I am exhausted because I work for almost 48 hours straight. Well not really but I am adding some hours for DRAMATIC! EFFECT! I get up Tuesday morning at around 7am. I brish my teeth and wursh my face in the inbred way I was taught (with ma fingurs!) and I head out the door for work. Sometimes on the way to work transvestites comment on my outfit. This doesn't happen much in the morning but when it does it's always appreciated. Who knew these shoes were so last season? Lately I am ALWAYS found jamming to my new Bose headphones. A pretty penny they did cost but dammit I'm working so hard (see: this post) and putting every last dime into paying off my credit card (which I'm sure if full of dinners out and booze - a solid investment if ever there was one) I thought hey! I deserve a present! So yes, I am walking and jamming every Tuesday morning. (The jamming as of late has been to Rihanna's new CD. When I tell you that "Don't Stop The Music" is the best song of all time I'm hoping you listen. Good god I am 12.)

I get to work and for 10 hours I sit and do random jobs for the man. If you'd like to picture me in glasses with my hair piled atop my head - pencils jetting about - knee-length skirt and just enough cleavage... you may. Sometimes during those 10 hours I am allowed to go out for auditions. This sounds exciting! And most of the time it is (because I am always accompanied by my dear headphones and my dear Rihanna) but it is also tiring and rushing. After the 10 hours of typing, tasking, rushing and auditioning, I head to my next job. My next job has been called "the perfect job for Glennis McMurray" because I am a bartender at a karaoke bar. THE karaoke bar if you're askin. Planet Rose karaoke (on 14th and Avenue A - stop by, won't you?) to be exact. Starting at 8pm every Tuesday night I do stuff like this:


While my friends do things like this:



...and this:



Being surrounded by happy people who love me (either because they know me or because I am providing them with mass amounts of alcohol) singing songs they rock... well it's not a bad thing, I'll tell you that much you guys. (You can see the entire flickr set here. It will be updated every week. Stop in an maybe YOUR picture will be there too.)

Sometimes even this happens:



I'll be honest with you. I hope this happens more often.

After working, bustling, hustling until around 2:30am, I go home and I sleep. Yes, I do sleep. For at least 3 1/2 hours. That's right I'm up again at 7am. It's not easy! Because that very day that I wake up at 7am I have to work another 10 hours for the man and then run Dance Dance Party Party! And not just run but participate in. Dancing? After that much work? Well that's where I am right now. I'm currently stuffing some salad and fruit bits into my mouth and I'm watching Creature Comforts on CBS. Holy LORD thank you for that show! It's adorable!! Please watch it guys cuz my friend Chad Carter worked on it and he's brilliant and deserves success.

I am really not kidding now. I have got to sleep, you guys.

Love,

Glennis

Truly Truly Truly

The first picture of me as Jem is being circulated. Please, gaze upon my Jemness and try not to touch yourself in dirty places.



Save the date... June 25th @ 7pm, UCB Theatre.

(My boobies look HUGE in that picture but I assure you, it's just the angle.)

xoxo

Love,

Glennis Benson

Adjusting

It's weird.

I spent my whole life thinking I was happy. And now I really am. So what was I before? I was pretending, right you guys? Pretending to be happy? Getting by? Is that what we do? It's like your eyes adapting to darkness...you know you're not going to get any more light so you just deal with what's there and adjust.

I adjusted my focus off of the outer things I thought would make me happy like:

A BOYFRIEND!
MORE MONEY!
FAME!
FOOD! (ok that's a lie...food is my lover)
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! (also a lie. can't live without him.)

and now I focus on me. Just me.

And I know that sounds totally selfish but I swear it's not. Because what I used to focus on was all that stuff everyone else focuses on coupled with the constant thought that people were judging me. I couldn't have a conversation (and I mean COULD_NOT) because I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing. Eliza mentioned that the other day in reference to improvisers wanting so desperately to be funny. They become so paralyzed by the fear that what they are about to say will be terribly unfunny. I was paralyzed. I didn't let anyone close to me. Ever.

So now I've hit these amazing breakthroughs in therapy and I want to cry at how happy I am. I want to cry! I don't know how else to explain it to you guys!

Sometimes I write these blog posts because I have this fantasy that someone out there is reading them going through the same things I am. No, not the "meeting girls named Cherish" same things...but the insecurities and the sadness and I guess a little regret. I guess I never thought people could change but they can. As long as they want to. I think that's why I've had so much success in therapy... I really wanted to change. I knew there was something wrong when I'd pick fights with someone I was supposed to love and wasn't able to look people in the eye. I'm just surprised I stuck with it and actually came out the other end in a better place. It's just unbelievable to me.

I said to my therapist the other day that I never believed in pure happiness and I thought that even if things were going well in my life before I found ways to make it bad. I complained a lot and talked bad about people. I hated my job. SO much. But I just don't care to be miserable any more. I guess you could argue and say that I have a pretty sweet life and really what do I have to be miserable about. If you're looking for stuff to be upset about you're always going to find something. Trust me. I could give you a list, I'm sure. But it's not important. Focusing on the positive hasn't become a task, it's just second nature now.

I wish I was a little more eloquent so I could help you understand how I feel. I guess maybe you get it.

I hope you're all happy too. And yes, I realize I am a huge nerd for writing this all down but dammit I'm inspired.

So have a great night.

xoxo

Glennis

The Pretty

Tonight, as a part of my new "me" (more about that another post) I decided to embrace the moment and tag along with a new friend to the Gramercy Hotel. I've been in there before but it was during the day and let me tell you, friends, it's a much different scene at night. We were barely allowed in (new friend had to call his friend to gain entrance and even then it was with glaring eyes and suspicion and EAR PIECES). I won't take long on this because I must sleep but here are a few moments from the night.

Girl 1 at my table (to girl 2): You are so fancy.
Girl 2: No I am not.
Girl 1: Yes you are.
Girl 2: No I never dress this fancy. Even when I'm around famous people.

Then I'm outside and this girl hears me talking about Amy Sedaris. She interrupts (this is a new girl, not someone I'd met before) and says, "Oh my gooood are you talking about Amy Sedaris???" I said yes and started to get excited about talking with someone about her and I go "Strangers With Candy was so great, right? Did you see the movie?" and she goes, "that's what I was TALKING ABOUT." It was a TV show too, I remind her, and she goes "oh I don't know. whatever."

Aw, so pretty.

Then I kind of drift off for a minute and she sticks her hand out and goes "CHERISH." And I stand there and in my head go...what? She goes, "Cherish." I wanted to say "the thought...?" And then realize she's giving me her name. As my roommate said, "Cherish is not a name. It's barely a verb." But I gotta hand it to her... I remembered her name.

So anyway, that was my awesome night. I also saw my friend Christina's band play at Arlene's and they rocked my effin world. Yaburnt.

Anyway...

Have a great day, dammit.

Love,

Glennis