Glesbo: Plum obsessed

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Plum obsessed

Lately I've been obsessed with the word "plum" and the image of a plum and I'm not sure why. I decided to name my website design company (that I'll be launching in approximately 2 1/2 months) plum designs and I bought plum diet Snapple iced tea the other day. I find this weird because I've never really thought about plums one way or another. They rank down there with stock market prices and testicular cancer (see: things I never think about).

This recent revelation has prompted me to think about something else I never think about: a girl I used to work with.

This girl was not someone I'd usually hang out with, but what can I say we worked together. Right??

RIGHT, GUYS!?! RIGHT?

So anywhoo, a bunch of us bitches went out to lunch one day and while at a deli hot bar getting cooked chicken, steamed broccoli and other people's sneeze germs, she says, "I love rice, you guys!"

I'm like, "ok, cool. we all do."

She says, "No. I LOVE RICE. I am obsessed with rice."

"huh? like... huh?"

She continues, "I love it! I love to cook it, I love to eat it, if I'm at weddings I always save the rice instead of throwing it! I love it!!!!"

That's weird... right? Who is obsessed with rice??! It's a small white oval!? You really can't get more bland than that. Unless perhaps you're talking about Harriet Miers?

Oh no I didn't!!! BURN!!!

ahhh

Maybe it's just me.

Or maybe she just liked rice.

Heaven anyone?

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."