Gosh darn it you guys I'm really ticked off. The United States Postal Service has done it again, those scamps! Here's what's what:
Before I left for Los Angeles for a month I went to the good old usps.com and put my mail on hold thinking that would do the trick and my mail would be put on hold. And it was! End of story, good bye!
Wait! That's how I WISHED it had happened. What actually happened was that I returned to Brooklyn on March 31, went to our local post office on April 1st and they said that woopsies, we don't have your mail!
"So who does?" we asked.
"Well you gotta call this number tomorrow morning before 10am. NOW LISTEN. They get in at 7:30am and take their first break at 8am and at 10am they are out the door for the day and nobody knows where they are or can get a hold of them."
So let me get this straight. Get in at 7:30. Check. First break a half-hour later. Check. Unreachable after 10:30am. CHECK. Yeah that sounds about right, USPS.
So we're walking about to our apartment, my boo and I, and lo! It's our trusty mail man delivering mail!! We'll just go talk to him in person and clear this whole mess up. Maybe he'll even have our month's worth of mail in his satchel!
"Excuse me, sir" I said. "We're looking for our mail and we were told to call our mailman tomorrow, but here you are! So can you help us?"
"What's your address?"
I tell him our address.
"Yeah you don't have a mailman. Your address is an overtime route. Nothin' I can do. Have a nice day, I gotta go deliver mail to every other address in Brooklyn except yours!"
What the WHAAAAAT? We don't have a mailman because WHY? I knew I'd see some punk 17-year-old kid delivering our mail (no uniform... just some kid with a mail cart!) before. This is BULLSHIT. Excuse the language... BULLPOOP.
So I file an official complaint with the USPS and, after about a week, someone leaves me a voicemail saying I should call a 718 # (our local office) and ask to speak to Mr. Lopez.
Oh! Mr. Lopez! My life for a moment of your time!! I've called. And called. And called back. And left messages. And have spoken to people on the phone who tell me I gotta speak to him and would I like to leave a message? No because you see I've left them and I want to SPEAK TO HIM NOW.
My boo has filed a complaint with customer service or the Postmaster General, but I have no faith that will do anything.
On to my reason for this note. I want to find out where the heck our goshdarn mail is and I'd like 7 ON MY SIDE to do it with me! So, does anyone know someone at Channel 7 News who can help?
Lots of love and endless thanks.
A slightly miffed Glennis McMurray