After attending what we surmised was 9 weddings this year (I surmise because I'm too lazy to go back and count), our final wedding was this past weekend on Cape Cod. I was super psyched to attend because A) I've never been to CC, B) It was one of Matt's family members which meant the entire McCarthy crew in attendance which = FUN (underlined), and C) It was our last wedding. HOORAH!!! Our last wedding of the year! Now all our money can go toward things like wrestling matches and pony rides!
Now don't get me wrong - we were like totally honored to be a part of every wedding and I have memories that are special to each event. Most of the memories are fabulous, but are lumped in with a few of dumdums acting a fool in front of the Fios guy. At one wedding, as I sat at our table next to Matty, a woman in her 50s came over with the usual - Are you him? No you're not - really!? - which was fine. No big deal. Until another woman in her 50s comes over and says, "stop bothering him" and then proceeds to try and set Matt up with her daughter right in front of me. Boy did she feel dumdumdum when Matt said, "Hey sweetie, you know who I should meet? Her daughter. I hear she's really pretty."
For the most part people act pretty silly around Matty. It ranges anywhere from adorable to disgusting and rude. And dudes, I get it. I understand that seeing someone on your TV every 10 minutes and then in person is kind of crazy, but honestly I've met a lot of famous people (Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson, Janet & Jermaine, the gang from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia to name a few) and I've never acted a mess like some people do.
Anyway, I'm usually left out of the questioning when people are face to face with "The Fios/Cable Guy" but this past weekend a wedding attendee got a little too much wine in her and cornered me at the bar.
DRUNKY - Are you the Verizon Fios girlfriend?
ME - Yep.
DRUNKY - OH MY GOD YOU MUST BE SO RICH!! Look at your dress! You are so rich.
First of all got m'dress at Daffy's for $15. Second of all WHO DOES THAT. I mean would you ever in a million years walk up to someone and say that? But get a little booze in people and all social skills go right out the window. Oh you dumdumdummy.
So what was my point... I don't think I had one. Just chill the eff out maybe?
Regardless, we had a killer time at the wedding(s) but I'm thankful for a break. Hey y'all? My friends who are dating? Hold off on the weddings for a while will ya?