Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Tonight!

Come check me out in Dream Role, my baby that I produce with Katina Corrao & Sara Jo Allocco at the 92Y Tribeca, tonight, 9pm and you can see me in a skimpy little number throwing condoms at the audience. AND my performance is a social commentary so there's that for you high-browers.

We've also got some amazing people singing some amazing songs. People like:

Sara Jo Allocco
Bob Barth
Katina Corrao (ft. a SLEW of nuns)
Tim Dunn (ft. Brandon Scott Jones)
Marcy Girt (ft. Jay Bois, Stephen Ruddy & Jason Falchook)
Natasha Price
&
Kate Tellers

It's sure to be a fantastic show and we've got a very special, hilarious opening number featuring my boo, Matt McCarthy, Billy Wood, Jay Bois, Dan Curry & Anthony DeVito.

See you there!

DREAM ROLE
Everybody Plays The Fool
92Y Tribeca
200 Hudson Street @ Canal
$10
Cheap drink specials and a full bar available.
www.dreamrole.net

Love,

Glennis

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

What are you looking at?

The title of this blog should actually read "At what are you looking?" but that sounds pretentious and if we know anything about Glennis it's that she's not pretentious and she doesn't shy away from talking about herself in the third person.

But the real reason I'm writing is to tell you of my undying love for a few shows on the old telly right now. Please watch these shows, dear readers, all 8 of you. (Literally, I have 8 followers... now are you proud mama!?)

NURSE JACKIE
Nothing makes me happier than this show. I know it's received accolades from people that matter, but I know you're all just holding out to see what I have to say about it before watching. Well what I've got to say is this: watchy! Edie Falco is brillzieballs, but really the entire cast is fabtastic. Merritt Wever makes my toes curl in pure delight whenever she's on screen. What a fantastic character she embodies - it's like nothing else on TV today. Hearts hearts and farts (the ultimate love = farts). God damn, girl. The whole cast is, as I said, amazing. Well worth your time. WATCH IT!

Now, listen guys, I'm writing this in a hurry because I've got to jam into the city for a few audishies (radio voice overs - jealous? Wait you actually might be... and if you're looking to get into voice overs I recommend it. Email me!) so my synopsis and love for these shows might be a bit stinted, but that doesn't mean the love ain't there. I'm trying to write every day so you'll take what I give you and like it! WHIP!

U.S. of Tara
BRILLIANT writing, BRILLIANT performances... I mean do I even need to tell you how great Toni Collette is? My ultimate like the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf... she's that. And, guys, I get it. The show seems like the premise for a bad one-person show. I hear that. But sometimes you go to these shows that are like "a story about how I moved to NY from Colorado and MADE IT!" and it's actually really fucking good (look for my show about how I moved to NY from Colorado and made it! later this year...) and this is like THAT. I can't tell you how tittilating it is to see a strong, beautiful, confident woman on screen KILLING it in the acting department. Toni is... there are no words. I kind of want to do her in the talent. Hearts! And, please, Brie Larson as Tara's daughter Kate. Fabulousballs to the MAX! Now she's embodying this amazing character creation named Princess Valhalla Hawkind who is a strong, both mentally and physically, super-woman of sorts who has no vagina so she doesn't need a man. FINALLY! I mean... I love sex, but that just rocks my socks. God, people, please watch this show.



And last, but not least...

BREAKING BAD
I know I missed this train, but damn I can't say enough about this show. RIVETING. I just want to put that out there in case you're one of the dummies with cable who aren't watching this show.

And that's it for today. I gotta jam, you guys!

Kisses where you pee,

Glennis

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Want 7 on MY Side!

Gosh darn it you guys I'm really ticked off. The United States Postal Service has done it again, those scamps! Here's what's what:

Before I left for Los Angeles for a month I went to the good old usps.com and put my mail on hold thinking that would do the trick and my mail would be put on hold. And it was! End of story, good bye!

Wait! That's how I WISHED it had happened. What actually happened was that I returned to Brooklyn on March 31, went to our local post office on April 1st and they said that woopsies, we don't have your mail!

"So who does?" we asked.

"Well you gotta call this number tomorrow morning before 10am. NOW LISTEN. They get in at 7:30am and take their first break at 8am and at 10am they are out the door for the day and nobody knows where they are or can get a hold of them."

So let me get this straight. Get in at 7:30. Check. First break a half-hour later. Check. Unreachable after 10:30am. CHECK. Yeah that sounds about right, USPS.

So we're walking about to our apartment, my boo and I, and lo! It's our trusty mail man delivering mail!! We'll just go talk to him in person and clear this whole mess up. Maybe he'll even have our month's worth of mail in his satchel!

"Excuse me, sir" I said. "We're looking for our mail and we were told to call our mailman tomorrow, but here you are! So can you help us?"

"What's your address?"

I tell him our address.

"Yeah you don't have a mailman. Your address is an overtime route. Nothin' I can do. Have a nice day, I gotta go deliver mail to every other address in Brooklyn except yours!"

What the WHAAAAAT? We don't have a mailman because WHY? I knew I'd see some punk 17-year-old kid delivering our mail (no uniform... just some kid with a mail cart!) before. This is BULLSHIT. Excuse the language... BULLPOOP.

So I file an official complaint with the USPS and, after about a week, someone leaves me a voicemail saying I should call a 718 # (our local office) and ask to speak to Mr. Lopez.

Oh! Mr. Lopez! My life for a moment of your time!! I've called. And called. And called back. And left messages. And have spoken to people on the phone who tell me I gotta speak to him and would I like to leave a message? No because you see I've left them and I want to SPEAK TO HIM NOW.

And nothing.

My boo has filed a complaint with customer service or the Postmaster General, but I have no faith that will do anything.

On to my reason for this note. I want to find out where the heck our goshdarn mail is and I'd like 7 ON MY SIDE to do it with me! So, does anyone know someone at Channel 7 News who can help?

Lots of love and endless thanks.

Yours,

A slightly miffed Glennis McMurray

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Pinky Swears

You know how they say pain is beauty? These shoes must be the most beautiful in the land, lasses and gents because mother of CHRIST are they painful.


I don't cut, I wear DVF

I used to exclusively wear heels, because I'm a fancy lady, and my feet have been toe up (puns!) because of it. It could also have something to do with the fact the heels in my early years in NY were all from Payless (as I mentioned in my blister post), but the old feet aren't what they used to be. You could say that my pinkies were swearing with every step. Eh? Pinky swears? Oh shush.

And now I'm going to stop talking about feet because as much as I'm obsessed with looking at people in sandals for an extra toe or two (I've seen it once), foot fetishists creep me out a little. OK a lot. There's nothing wrong with fetishising feet, but why do they always have to be so creepy about it? Anyway...

Now you might ask: "If they hurt so much then why wear those shoes, McMurray?" Because, you see, Friday night I had a very special, super-secret date with my Boo and I wanted to look fierce instead of "creepy living doll" which is my usual go-to. My current collection of shoes consists of boots, pink heels (used for my stint as Jem) and very uncomfortable, cheap heels, none of which matched the dress I planned on wearing. So, on the suggestion of my pal Claire, a shoe aficionado, I searched Loehman's for the perfect pair of heels. Aaaaand I'm talking about feet again. What I really wanted to talk about was what went on during our super-secret date.

My Boo took me to see a preview of the new musical "Promises, Promises" starring my ab fave Kristin Chenoweth. No one does 'feisty peach' like that girl and I love everything about her. She reminds me of Dolly and we all know how I love Dolly so more of "that"... Yes please! I was SUPESPSYCHED about the show and, well, it didn't disappoint because how can you be disappointed when KC is 10 ft from your face singing Burt Bacharach songs? You can't. It's literally impossible.

The performances were great, natch. This is Broadway not some community theatre production of Peter Pan, folks. And, just like with every other Broadway show I've ever seen, I was in tears within the first 5 minutes. Just being in that huge theatre when the lights go down and everything runs to sheer perfection... it's just too dreamy. And did I mention we were 2nd row, center? I'm pretty sure I left with a few pieces of KC's spiddle on me. Swoon!

That being said...

Promises, Promises is a remake of the 1968 musical which was based on the 1960 film The Apartment starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine (another fave) and I get that, being set in the 60's, there are certain standards (or lack thereof) set, but the whole "women as objects of desire" thing is a little played out in this girl's book. I mean honestly it's 2010... why are we looking back? But I'm not going to change the world by writing on yee olde blog and you all get what I mean so let's just call that the end of my feminist rant.

Overall I'd say the standout performance belonged to Katie Finneran as the salty broad who seduces Chuck Baxter in a bar at Christmastime. Katie won the Tony for Noises Off and she deserves another win for this role. She stole the damn show. And though the character has one scene and one song, it won Marian Mercer a Tony back in 1969 so it could happen again. And should! (Did I mention she should win a Tony?)

After the show... or should I say after the curtain call where Sean Hayes and Kristin looked RIGHT AT ME AND MY BOO OMGOMG, we went to Utsav ("Utsav!? That's Vastu spelled backward!") for some delicious Indian with a side of snobbery. We showed up at 11pm, which was the time of our reservation, and they gave us SUCH attitude about the kitchen closing in like literally NOW so get your order in, like, literally NOW even though our reservation was for, like, 11pm, DICKS. Could have made a rezzie for 11 or 11:15 or 11:30 or 11:45... DOUBLE-U TEE EFF. But we put our order in, like, then and enjoyed delicious garlic naan and tikka and oh god it was good. I also had a Lycheetini which tasted more like a virgin Lycheetini, but also didn't compare to my extra dirty Goose before the show at Gallagher's Steak House - oh god so good.

All in all it was a fabulous night only slightly dampened by the fact that my dogs were barking and pinky's swearing. But still... worth every single step. PAIN IS BEAUTY, RIGHT GAGA??

Hope you all had a wonderful Friday night as well.

Love,

Glennis